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There Are Moms Way Worse Than You by Glenn Boozan Pdf
A rhyming illustrated humor book for moms who feel they're not doing a good job (and that's all moms, right?). Packed with scientifically true examples of terrible parents in the animal kingdom, to remind and reassure any mother that there are way worse moms out there.
For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account
If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
From international bestselling author Liz Climo comes You're Mom, a hilarious and relatable collection of original comics about motherhood Moms: they are there for us through the good, the bad, the scary, the sticky, and everything in between. They also read us a lot of picture books along the way, and now there’s a picture book just for them. Liz Climo brings her trademark wit and adorable drawings to You're Mom: a funny, honest, and sweet homage to motherhood. Detailing the ups and downs of mothering, along with the many paths to becoming a mom and the different types of motherhood, Climo pairs humorous observations with clever illustrations of baby animals and their mothers. With more than 100 beautiful drawings, You're Mom is a book for the new mom, the seasoned mom, anyone in a mom-like role, or anyone who has ever loved a mom. It’s a thank you to those taking on the challenging role of parenting - and it's also short and sweet, which means you can read it and then hopefully get some sleep!
Drawing from the award-winning website ParentHacks.com, here are 134 ingenious ideas for simplifying life with kids. A parent hack can be as simple as putting the ketchup under the hot dog, minimizing the mess. Or strapping baby into a forward-facing carrier when you need to trim his fingernails—it frees your hands while controlling the squirming. Or stashing a wallet in a disposable diaper at the beach—who would ever poke through what looks like a used Pamper? On every page, discover easy-to-do, boldly illustrated, unconventional solutions, arranged by category from Pregnancy & Postpartum through Sleep, Eating, Bath Time, Travel, and more.
All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen,Jory John Pdf
If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.
You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom by Leslie Anne Bruce Pdf
A much-needed voice of encouragement for every woman who had a baby and lost her mind Sometimes, motherhood feels never-ending. A child is born, chaos ensues, and it seems like life will never return to normal. In You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom, award-winning journalist and Instagram star Leslie Anne Bruce acknowledges that, yes, motherhood is a total mind f*ck-but then she offers the self-empowerment lessons new mothers need to get through the psychic upheaval and emerge stronger than ever. After childbirth, a woman's body, her relationships, and her very sense of self are tested like never before. Bruce encourages readers to look past the sugarcoated truisms about the miracles of child-rearing in order to embrace the real joys of motherhood, spit-up stains and all. Loaded with unfettered support from a mom who has been through it all, You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom offers a lifeline of encouragement, inspiration, and community for the new mama who got a baby, lost her mind, and desperately wants to find herself again.
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
P Is for Pterodactyl by Raj Haldar,Chris Carpenter Pdf
A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!
Sh*tty Mom by Laurie Kilmartin,Karen Moline,Mary Ann Zoellner,Alicia Ybarbo Pdf
“Nearly criminally funny . . . carries a powerful message to all parents, but especially moms, that distilled to its essence is this: chill.” —Time Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend and When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby, as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny book for the sh*tty parent in all of us. “A totally hilarious and uncensored look at some of the impossible situations we mothers find ourselves in.” —The Bump “As the attachment parenting craze has hit a zenith in American culture, four very funny moms—comedy writers, TV producers, and a novelist—blast open a long-locked safe filled with frustrations faced by all modern mothers, with sympathetic and sharp humor . . . The authors’ unfiltered candor is a welcome reminder for readers that they’re not alone.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) “Hilariously entertaining. A must-read survivor’s guide for every mother!”—Christy Turlington Burns, founder of Every Mother Counts “A long overdue little burst of honesty from the supposed minority of mothers who are, in fact, not that maternal . . . After a generation of supermoms one-upping each other in dead earnest on playgrounds and schoolyards, the emerging mass appeal of Sh*tty Mom is a welcome relief.” —The New York Observer
A lighthearted look at the daily challenges and triumphs of motherhood that will remind you exactly how much you love your kids—perfect for moms (or moms-to-be!). Welcome to motherhood! You’re sleep-deprived, your foot hurts from stepping on a toy you definitely told your kids to put away, and you have more laundry to get done than you ever thought possible. Moms everywhere know the struggle. This inspirational and motivational book takes a look at the daily challenges moms face and adds a laugh-out-loud and relatable spin for every parent. From the amusing to the heartwarming to the inspirational, this must-have book filled with humor and heart will remind you exactly why you love your children every day.
The day Mum didn't get dressed and went on strike, Dad called her 'a Wild Thing' and Mum said 'Cook your own dinner' and stomped off upstairs to have a bath . . . In this hilarious, touching homage to Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, a worn-out mum finds herself floating across time and space to the place where the Wild Mums are. Dazzled by her party tricks, they crown her Queen of the Wild Mums and try to entice her to join their conga . . . But Mum has just remembered who she loves best of all . . . Lovingly illustrated by the award-winning Sholto Walker, this little book is the perfect gift for baby showers, new mums - or any mum who's ever wanted to go on strike.
No Reading Allowed by Raj Haldar,Chris Carpenter Pdf
From the #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestselling authors of P IS FOR PTERODACTYL comes another hilarious, fresh look at the English language! The hero had super vision. The hero had supervision. Man, a tea sounds great. Manatee sounds great! Sir Francis Bacon Sir, France is bakin'! What is going on here?! You can't believe everything you hear! A single word can have many different meanings. And sometimes two words that sound alike can be spelled completely differently. Ptolemy the pterodactyl is back to show us all how absurd and fun language can be when homophones, homonyms, and tricky punctuation are at play! No Reading Allowed allows children and their parents to laugh together while also learning something new. Perfect for baby gifts, birthday gifts, teacher gifts, and anyone who finds humor in the absurdity of the English language.
Cribsheet meets The Sh!t No One Tells You in this no-holds-barred, judgment-free parenting guide that sets the record straight on every hot-button parenting topic by longtime journalist and founder of the viral #NoShameParenting movement. What if you could do more for your kids, by doing a whole lot less? Parenting today has become a competitive sport, and it seems that everyone is losing. From the very moment that little line turns blue, parents-to-be find themselves in a brave new world where every decision they make is fraught, every action they take is judged, and everything they do seems to be the wrong thing. Formula feed? Breast is best. Breastfeed in public? That’s indecent. Cry it out? You’re causing permanent harm to your child. Don’t sleep train? Your child will never learn to sleep on his or her own. Stay home? You’re setting a bad example for your kids. Go back to work? Don’t you love your kids more than your job? Lindsay Powers—former editor-in-chief of Yahoo! Parenting, creator of the #NoShameParenting movement, and mom of two—is here to help parents everywhere breathe a collective sigh of relief. This laugh-out-loud funny, accessible, and reassuring book sets the record straight on all of the insane conflicts that parents face—from having a glass of wine while pregnant to sleep training, childcare, feeding, and even sex after baby. Drawing on the latest research and delivered in a relatable, comforting voice, You Can’t F*ck Up Your Kids demonstrates that it is possible to take the stress out of parenting and sit back and enjoy the ride.