Why Are My Nuts In The Toilet Water And Other Questions Older Men Need Answered

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Why Are My Nuts in the Toilet Water? and Other Questions Older Men Need Answered

Author : Allen F. Mahon
Publisher : CreateSpace
Page : 34 pages
File Size : 41,9 Mb
Release : 2015-11-18
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1519120745

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Why Are My Nuts in the Toilet Water? and Other Questions Older Men Need Answered by Allen F. Mahon Pdf

Author Allen F. Mahon takes a break from his serious writing to delve into some of the changes men deal with as they enter and navigate through their elder years. His whit and humor is as sharp as some of the subjects he attempts to explain. Mr. Mahon's take on the changes he is going through, as he moves through his sixties, is unique and a bit off beat. The title of this book should tip you off as to his approach to life. As he says in this book, "We just need to deal with all that aging throws at us with dignity, grace and a good sense of humor." If you are looking for a little laughter in your life, this is the book for you.

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

Author : Mary McHugh
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 146 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2009-03-17
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780740781551

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How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man by Mary McHugh Pdf

Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

The Joys of Getting Older

Author : Thomas Senior,Cindy Oldham,Cindy Senior
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 6 pages
File Size : 48,9 Mb
Release : 2000-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0740708864

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The Joys of Getting Older by Thomas Senior,Cindy Oldham,Cindy Senior Pdf

"An inspirational look at the beauty found within the Circle of Life." —The Times "A straightforward, clear-cut how-to book for putting a spark (or two!) back into your life. It truly describes the magical beauty to be found in the twilight years." &mdashYule Biyung, author and inspirational speaker Thomas and Cindy Senior are the best-selling husband-and-wife team who authored Retiring Gracefully and Senior Sex: How to Rekindle the Sizzle in Your Bedroom. In The Joys of Getting Older the tradition of their previous books, they have collected all their best advice and share their insights into how you can lead a happy and energetic life after reaching "that certain age." The Seniors are living out their dream retirement in sunny Florida, where hurricanes and theme parks provide routine stimulation in their lives.

1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You

Author : Cary McNeal
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2010
Category : Curiosities and wonders
ISBN : OCLC:1409188895

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1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You by Cary McNeal Pdf

A compendium of 1,001 facts about food, human behavior, health, drug use, the weather, animals, and more.

Good Old Days My Ass

Author : David A. Fryxell
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 275 pages
File Size : 52,9 Mb
Release : 2012-10-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781440322464

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Good Old Days My Ass by David A. Fryxell Pdf

Welcome to the Not-So-Glorious Days With the uncertain economy, lingering wars, and the ever-present threats of everything from bird flu to Bieber Fever, it's tempting to long for the "good old days." But just how good were they? Buckle up for a bumpy ride down memory lane (and try not to get trampled) as these 665 funny history facts and terrifying truths reveal the unfortunate reality of life during the eighteenth, nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. From patents that should still be pending to hairdos that attract vermin, these horrors will leave you thankful you didn't have to struggle to live through them. Brace yourself as the truth hits you like an ice-cold Victorian-era shower with enough pressure to knock you unconscious. Get ready to shudder with laughter (or horror) at these funny moments in history that are not to be forgotten.

You're Only Old Once! Read & Listen Edition

Author : Dr. Seuss
Publisher : Random House Books for Young Readers
Page : 48 pages
File Size : 42,6 Mb
Release : 2013-11-05
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780385383349

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You're Only Old Once! Read & Listen Edition by Dr. Seuss Pdf

With his unmistakable rhymes and signature illustration style, Dr. Seuss creates a classic picture-book ode to aging in You're Only Old Once! On a visit to "the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair," readers will laugh with familiar horror at the poking and prodding and testing and ogling that go hand in hand with the dreaded appellation of "senior citizen." Though Dr. Seuss is known for his peerless work in books for children, this comical look at what it's like to get older is ideal for Seuss fans of advanced years. In his own words, this is "a book for obsolete children." A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, and holidays! This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.

How Not to Become a Little Old Lady

Author : Mary McHugh
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 145 pages
File Size : 55,6 Mb
Release : 2008-03-01
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780740788659

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How Not to Become a Little Old Lady by Mary McHugh Pdf

You can be little. You can be old. You can be a lady. But you don’t have to be a little old lady! We’ve all seen her, hunched forward, her hair tucked neatly under a plastic rain bonnet. She’s clutching expired coupons, or discussing her latest health problems over lunch. She’s a little old lady . . . and she's coming your way at 2 mph. Little old ladies have elastic waistbands on all their slacks. They save rubber bands, remember fifteen-cent McDonald’s hamburgers, and have never seen a public rest room that was clean enough. How Not to Become a Little Old Lady is for any woman who is proud to have escaped little old ladyhood—or those in danger of slipping into it. Lighthearted and affectionately funny, it also includes charming illustrations from Adrienne Hartman.

What's So Funny About Getting Old

Author : Ed Fischer,Jane Thomas Noland
Publisher : Running Press Adult
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 48,9 Mb
Release : 2014-03-11
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781476742915

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What's So Funny About Getting Old by Ed Fischer,Jane Thomas Noland Pdf

One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life ...and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. One bonus of getting older is that it gives us a great perspective on life ...and that includes plenty of humor! This collection of cartoons, quips, quotes, and insights introduces a new comedy genre: elderhumor. It captures the wry hilarity of our real-life sitcoms. Generational vocabulary gaps, miscommunications, preoccupation with health and comforts, foibles, disguises (for aging), even physical limitations -- all can have their funny sides when we're laughing at ourselves. This book, a light-hearted gift for anyone who's 50-plus, is a memoryjogger too. Remember the Katzenjammer Kids? Jack Armstrong? Apple Mary? Check out your friends' ages by their responses to a "Vanishing Words" test (examples: "spider," "broomstick skirt," "running board," "the shag"). If you're still calling the refrigerator an "icebox," it's a giveaway -- you're probably over 60. What's So Funny about Getting Old? is brought to you by a comedy team of two. Ed Fischer is an award-winning cartoonist. Jane Thomas Noland, author of Laugh It Off (what's so funny about trying to lose weight?) is a books editor and a former Minneapolis Star Tribune feature writer. Both have delicious ways of looking at life. Both, like all the rest of us, are getting older. Laughter heals. Laughter helps. Laughter keeps us in shape emotionally and physically. Read this book and try it. You'll be convinced, as these authors are, that there's only one way to grow older -- with a healthy sense of humor!

How to Back Up a Trailer

Author : Kurt Anderson
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 224 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2008-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781598694932

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How to Back Up a Trailer by Kurt Anderson Pdf

Presents straightforward instructions for a number of specific manly activities related to automobiles, sports, the outdoors, home maintenance, socializing, and cooking.

How Not to Be Old (Even If You Are)

Author : Jill Orr
Publisher : Prospect Park Books
Page : 121 pages
File Size : 53,5 Mb
Release : 2020-11-10
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781945551949

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How Not to Be Old (Even If You Are) by Jill Orr Pdf

A PEOPLE Magazine Editor's Pick! “The book brims with wisdom, heart and self-deprecating humor. Friend to every generation, Jill Orr writes with an easy, knowing style — you can practically sense her smile radiating through the page.” — Columbia Daily Tribune Old suggests you have life experience, but OLD means you won’t shut up about it. Old brings with it a more relaxed pace of life, while OLD is synonymous with slow driving (and even slower digestion). Old comes with a quiet confidence envied by youth, but OLD comes with bitterness and a rigidity that youth cannot rightfully stand. While growing old is a privilege, becoming OLD is optional. If you don’t mind being “Okay, Karen-ed” by Millennials and Gen Zs, that's totally your choice. But if want to update some of your long-held beliefs (and possibly your even-longer-held hairstyle) to become more relevant, How Not to Be Old will clue you in on how a slight adjustment in behavior and thinking will help you more fully connect with today’s world... and the people who will be in charge of your nursing home one day. A humorous how-to guide on aging gracefully... or not. Perfect gift for boomers, GenX, & millennials looking to find the funny in getting older.

Dear Asshole

Author : Jillian Madison,Michelle Madison
Publisher : Running Press Adult
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 43,5 Mb
Release : 2011-08-02
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0762442867

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Dear Asshole by Jillian Madison,Michelle Madison Pdf

Dear Asshole includes 101 letters to tell off all the assholes you encounter on a daily basis, each letter conveniently perforated so you can tear it out and give it to the desired offender. The world is full of assholes -- but now you can fight back! Ever wish you could leave a nasty note for that jerk meter maid who ticketed you, or the idiot who didn't clean up after his dog, or your asshole psychotic ex? Now you can! Whether it's the asshole landlord, the asshole cheapskate, the asshole backseat driver, or the constantly cheery asshole, you should never leave home without this useful book ever again! Letters include: Dear Asshole Who Stole My Parking Space Dear Asshole Who Doesn't Know How to Use Self-Checkout Dear Contagious Asshole Dear Constantly Broke Asshole Dear Online Dating Asshole Who Lied About Their Looks Dear Asshole Boss Dear Fanatically Religious Asshole at My Door And more!

You Know You're 60 When . . .

Author : Richard Smith
Publisher : Crown
Page : 130 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2010-06-08
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780307587633

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You Know You're 60 When . . . by Richard Smith Pdf

Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won’t lie to you! Not sure how to tell when you’re about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday? Here are some clues: WebMD is your home page When asked, “Who’s your doctor?” you have to reply, “Which one?” An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls That empty seat on the bus has your name on it Your pharmacist greets you with “What’ll it be, pal?” Getting older is not only fun . . . it’s funny! And with You Know You’re 60 When . . ., you’ll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest!

The Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book

Author : Craig Yoe
Publisher : Dare You Stamp Company
Page : 12 pages
File Size : 41,5 Mb
Release : 2013-01-08
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781604333084

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The Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book by Craig Yoe Pdf

Meet Little Penis, the cute dinky winky you bring to life when you put your finger in the puppet in this delightfully crass and hilarious parody board book for adults. This board book parodies children’s finger puppet books with its bold colors and simple illustrations, but this book is not for children! Instead, put your finger in the hole in the back of the book, and follow the adventures of Little Penis as he goes swimming (poor shrinking Penis!); gets out of bed early, so big and tall; gets a gentle kiss and hug (along with a good hard tug); head to a bar, gets drunk, and hooks up; and more—getting bigger and bigger with the turn of each page. Sometimes he’s up and sometimes he’s down, but there’s a happy ending as he finds his snug, warm place called home!

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Author : Steven Petrow
Publisher : Citadel Press
Page : 274 pages
File Size : 50,5 Mb
Release : 2021-06-29
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780806541020

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Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow Pdf

For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, here is a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on the wildly popular New York Times essay from award-winning journalist Steven Petrow. Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . . In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

Eat My Balls

Author : Cherry Jewell
Publisher : Independently Published
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 44,7 Mb
Release : 2020-11-15
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798692141330

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Eat My Balls by Cherry Jewell Pdf

Ready to go deep into the fine art of eating balls? Chewy, salty, sweet, or vodka-infused, there's twelve months of achingly good ball recipes inside. Dozens of puzzle pages too, so you won't get bored while your balls are firming up. "This book will make you rethink how you eat balls. Uniquely powerful"