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Daddy And The World's Longest Poo by Brydie Wright Pdf
Do you ever wonder why daddies disappear for hours on end? Where on earth do they go? Daddy and the World's Longest Poo tells the adventure of a little boy who faces just such a conundrum. Follow him on a journey of discovery, as he tries to make sense of one of life's great mysteries.
The Not-So-Great Guidebook to Childrearing for the Not-So-Bright Parent by Randall Fong,Randall S Fong M D Pdf
This humorous parody of a self-help manual was meant to offer useful advice on parenting, though from the not-so-bright mind of a contemporary father. Instead, a look into the inner workings of the rather strange and bizarre male mind is revealed, explaining the mystery behind some of the unusual behaviors seen in the dad of the 21st century. As a father and an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor who sees many children in his practice, Dr. Fong provides "lessons" on parenting through his personal experiences, such as: -To avoid spousal reprisals, never criticize your wife when she disciplines the kids. It is best to leave well enough alone, crack open a beer, and watch a mindless sporting event on T.V. This is an example of a "win-win" situation. -When having the "Sex Talk" with your kids, always ask first what they already know. You may be surprised--they may know more than you! This could be a great education for Dad! -When toilet-training a child, always be encouraging. So the next time your child pulls you to the toilet to marvel at his unusually large creation, say something positive like, "Wow, I can't believe you made that all by yourself! Let's save it for Mom!" Obviously, some of these "lessons" are unconventional, but they do resonate with the thinking of many of today's fathers. Although written from the male point of view (and with the male weakness of being wrong most of the time), this book gives a fresh perspective into the relationship between father and offspring, and enlightens others into the foibles of the male mind when it comes to raising kids. In essence, this book reminds us that children do teach us about the simple joys of life that we often neglect to appreciate; and by seeing the world through their eyes, we can recapture that sense of possibility and magic that we lost along the way to adulthood.
Dishpan Dad: A Guy’s Guide to Raising Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers by Brett Becker Pdf
"Dishpan Dad: A Guy's Guide to Raising Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers" was written by and for a stay-at-home dad, but it's a book for essentially any parent who has children under age 5. In more than 80 chapters, the book delves into issues unique to at-home dads: being surrounded by moms-whose husbands eye you with suspicion or derision-crises of self worth, cultural dogma, stereotypes, emotional and intellectual challenges and more. It also gets down to the business of raising mannered, well-behaved, resilient kids. In "Dishpan Dad," fathers will learn where to get good parenting advice-and where not to get it-how to avoid doing laundry, at least for a while, the importance of mouth breathing, why candy for breakfast is a bad idea, the importance of a manly diaper bag and how much time and effort it takes to get kids ready and out the door. There is more, of course. Lots more, all packaged in a book that's educational, fun and easy to read.
Does your daddy disappear to the bathroom any time things get chaotic at home? Or maybe when he's asked to do certain chores, he is nowhere to be found? If so, this is the book for you! Sit back and enjoy the story of one little girl and her daddy who has developed the sudden urge to poop at all of the most inconvenient times.
For those who believe that laughter is the best medicine, this collection of parodies is filled with raucous tales of devilish delight. The sequel delivers another hysterical batch of droppings guaranteed to bring joy to the cynic in all of us.
I Probably Should've Brought a Tent by Erik Shonstrom Pdf
The author once fell backwards, on skis, at night, into a latrine during a snowstorm in the Rocky Mountains. That’s just one of the stories in this 20-year tale of wilderness education. This book aims to entertain and edify, captivate and compel. It’s also laugh-out-loud funny, with echoes of Patrick F. McManus and Bill Heavey. Combining anecdotes of over two decades of outdoor education experience with thoughtful narrative context, the author offers tales of adventure that both experienced mountain guides and armchair enthusiasts can dig into with abandon. From the swampy backcountry of Florida to the soaring Sierra; the chilly gray waters of Puget sound to rocky scrambles in the Green Mountains, this book takes the reader on a hilarious journey through epic landscapes guided by a hapless outdoor teacher. No matter how suburban or urban our upbringing, we’ve all experienced the fear of strange noises in the night, inedible food cooked outdoors, and surviving when the nearest flush toilet is miles away. We can all relate to the mishaps and exploits experienced in the great wide world.
Daddy Drinks by Henry Dittman,Padraic Duffy,Victor Isaac,Michael Lanahan,Jacob Sidney,French Stewart Pdf
One very, very late night, in a state of panic, a new dad reaches out to five of his buddies via instant messenger to ask for advice on being a father. What results is a nonstop stream of consciousness as the Daddy Drinks daddies overshare, gripe, grouse, complain, and offer questionable guidance to one another on how to keep their kids alive and their marriages intact. Daddy Drinks is the real transcript lifted from that messenger thread that shines a comedic light on the idea that almost any man can be a father—but almost no father knows what the hell he’s doing! Daddy Drinks is a celebration of the ups and downs of raising a new baby—not just the fatigue and worry—but also the immense joys of newfound fatherhood. Features a begrudging foreword from TV dad Patrick Duffy.
Paris is a teenage girl growing up in South Central Los Angeles during an era when money, sex, prostitution, drugs, and alcoholism are the only ways to deal with reality. Upset with her parents for abandoning her, she moves in with her grandmother Joyce, going from rags to riches. Bennie is an eighteen-year-old transgender battling his sexuality and anger issues due to a fatherless childhood. With no parental guidance, Bennie’s heart has turned cold, but he still holds a special place in his heart for his best friend, Paris. Even though they come from separate homes and live different lifestyles, one’s pain is not better or worse than the others. Paris and Bennie are both products of their environment, suffering from broken homes and childhood trauma. While trying to be accepted by their high school peers, drama always follows them. Together, they search for a fabulous lifestyle and try to avoid making the same mistakes as their parents
The Ghost and Max Monroe, Case #2 by L.M. Falcone Pdf
Someone has stolen the Zamboni sisters’ giant zucchini, which was certain to win first prize at the Harvest Fair. Max Monroe is on the case, with the help of his peculiar sidekick - the ghost of his great-uncle Larry. They encounter a cast of unusual suspects. But who would - or even could - steal a two-hundred-pound vegetable? One thing is for sure: this isn’t your garden-variety mystery!
How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel by Jess Keating Pdf
"Keating delivers a fun-filled, pitch-perfect book...An amusing, highly readable book about the perils of being 12 in a snake-eat-snake world."— Kirkus Starred Review on How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied (My Life is a Zoo Book 1) Ana Wright's summer just got terrifying. She's finally getting used to living in a zoo (no, seriously—she lives with her family in an actual zoo), when she's assigned to work in the new shark tank. With her worst enemy. Forget about sharks! Ashley is the ultimate predator. And after Ana's favorite croc peed on Ashley's shoes, she's probably out for revenge. This can't be good. Jess Keating combines the quirky humor and animal-centric plots of Carl Hiaasen with the awkward adolescent antics of Lauren Myracle in this fresh new middle grade series! Praise for How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied: "A menagerie of laugh-out-loud antics." —Anna Staniszewski, author of The Dirt Diary "A wild romp, filled with humor and heart." — Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes "Keating, a zoologist, enriches her debut novel with fascinating animal facts, awkward moments with a variety of wild species, and "creature files" Ana uses to amusingly classify her peers" —School Library Journal "An absolutely perfect summer read." —Girls' Life Magazine.com "Life is literally a zoo for shy 12-year-old Anna, who is trying to avoid seventh-grade bullies while hiding that her family lives among crocodiles and elephants." —Los Angeles Times
Sometime late at night, when the house is quiet I can hear the familiar complaints of the friendly old floorboards stretching thier limbs, and the house iswarmed by love. I tiptoe into my four year old son's room and sit on the floor in a corner, and just watch him sleep.
The book starts with Jim, a young boy of just six years old, growing up in Miami. Since his first visit down at the bay at the end of 25th Road, Jim got hooked on the adventure that would forever bring him back to the water. Jim lived an adventure that any boy would dream of. Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer had nothing on Jim. The photo on the cover is the original sailboat, The Princess, which Jims Dad built in their backyard. The book ends with Jim now fifteen, returning home from a trip of a lifetime.
Decades after a brutal childhood trauma, a famous novelist finds his life shattered once again, in this unsettling psychological mystery thriller. After years of turmoil, Brooks Anderson is sober and has a stable life with his wife and two kids. He should enjoying life, but the persistent nightmares and sleepwalking tell a different story. As hard as he’s tried, Brooks can’t run away from the defining event of his life: the senseless murders of his mother and brother during a vacation in Montauk. An eight-year-old Brooks was the sole survivor of the carnage, which left him in a catatonic state. He buried his pain and eventually overcame his demons. Or so he believed. Now an unscrupulous journalist is threatening to write about the deaths. Fearful that the truth will be twisted to suit sordid ends, Brooks decides to write his own book, despite the grave misgivings of his agent, wife, and father. However, when the journalist is brutally killed, Brooks finds himself in the authorities’ crosshairs. To prove his innocence and exorcise the past, he digs deeper into his psyche and that fateful summer. His relentless pursuit of the truth soon leads Brooks down a slippery slope that challenges everything—and brings him face-to-face with the real monster of Montauk . . . “‘A Good Man’ provides the kind of insolent first-person narration that is reminiscent of John Self’s in Martin Amis’ ‘Money’ or Mickey Sabbath’s in Philip Roth’s ‘Sabbath Theater’. . . . Perfectly entertaining and well-crafted . . . McIlvaine writes with a ferocious wit and great breadth of knowledge. ‘A Good Man’ offers all the surprises and shocks that a mystery should.” —Newsday