Don T Bathe With Uncle Joe

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 26 pages
File Size : 46,8 Mb
Release : 2020-01-11
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 165918925X

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Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe by Brad Gosse Pdf

Uncle Joe got fired at work He said because his boss is a jerk Uncle Joe has allegations Mom and dad have reservations Uncle Joe is staying here Uncle Joe might offer you beer Careful not to take a sip Roofies are what he might slip Uncle Joe likes having baths Uncle Joe might touch your ass Keep your distance from his hands Even when he makes demands When in doubt you can just say no And never bathe with Uncle Joe

Author : Shirley Jackson
Publisher : Lightyear Press
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 1990
Category : Cousins
ISBN : 0899685323

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We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson Pdf

Merricat Blackwood protects her sister, Constance, from the curiosity and hostility of the villagers after murders occur on the family estate.

Author : Thanhha Lai
Publisher : Univ. of Queensland Press
Page : 227 pages
File Size : 48,8 Mb
Release : 2013-03-01
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780702251177

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Inside Out & Back Again by Thanhha Lai Pdf

Moving to America turns H&à's life inside out. For all the 10 years of her life, H&à has only known Saigon: the thrills of its markets, the joy of its traditions, the warmth of her friends close by, and the beauty of her very own papaya tree. But now the Vietnam War has reached her home. H&à and her family are forced to flee as Saigon falls, and they board a ship headed toward hope. In America, H&à discovers the foreign world of Alabama: the coldness of its strangers, the dullness of its food, the strange shape of its landscape, and the strength of her very own family. This is the moving story of one girl's year of change, dreams, grief, and healing as she journeys from one country to another, one life to the next.

Author : Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher : Ember
Page : 259 pages
File Size : 42,7 Mb
Release : 2003-05-13
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780375825446

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Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen Pdf

A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 26 pages
File Size : 54,8 Mb
Release : 2020-11-29
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798573982595

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Humpty Dumpty by Brad Gosse Pdf

Humpty Dumpty started a new job. Humpty Dumpty shows co- workers his knob. He makes jokes about sexual orientation. And emailed a co-worker with the subject: "Oral Fixation". He doesn't understand inappropriate touch. His secret Santa gifts are way too much. He's always suggesting awkward things. And gives people nicknames that really sting. He forwards emails that always offend. Always demanding Hugs that never seem to end. He makes offensive stereotypes when it comes to gender. When he gets in trouble he says he "didn't mean to offend her". His workplace activities are sexually inspired. And That's why Humpty Dumpty always gets fired.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 106 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2019-07
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1077291450

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Daddy Drinks by Brad Gosse Pdf

For mature audiences only. Not for the easily offended! A hilarious look at children's books. I've designed book covers for 100 kids books that should never be published. With great titles like: Mom Can't Afford Car Payments, Dad Lost the House, Daddy's Moving Away, Daddy Committed Wire Fraud, Jesus Needs Mommy in Heaven, Mommy Killed Herself, How Daddy Got an STD, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Mommy Turns Tricks, Don't Trust the Clown on 5th, My Dad the Junkie, Your Art Sucks, No Dinner Tonight, I'm Not Your Father, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Don't Start Fires, Billy Starts a Pile-Up, Sleep Time for Mr. Mittens, Three Little Pigs Become Bacon, Don't Interrupt Group, Capital Punishment, Mom Joined an MLM, Kid Detective, Mom, Dad, Sarah and Don, Mom's Essential Oil's, My Parents and Siblings, Your Life Is a Lie and many more. The covers illustrated in in this book are a light hearted look at a difficult childhood. Try not to find yourself triggered by the one or two things that you decide are offensive. I can't be funny if I have to worry about you.

Author : Joy Cowley
Publisher : Learning Media Ltd
Page : 16 pages
File Size : 48,5 Mb
Release : 1997
Category : Children's stories, New Zealand
ISBN : 0478204914

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Uncle Joe by Joy Cowley Pdf

Author : Micah Thorp
Publisher : Open Books Publishing (UK)
Page : 216 pages
File Size : 50,5 Mb
Release : 2020-02-10
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 194859854X

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Uncle Joe's Muse by Micah Thorp Pdf

"A book of big heart, broad comedy, a clever wild ride and a damn good read."-Kim Taylor Blakemore, author of After Alice Fell and The Companion "Micah Thorp seamlessly weaves the past into present to explore the meaning of fatherhood and, just maybe, the meaning of life itself."-Jacqueline Vick, author of The Harlow Brothers Mysteries A down-and-out band, a girl searching for her father, and Jerry's guitar. The members of Uncle Joe's Band have spent years playing any venue that will pay for their unintelligible metal band performances while their rock and roll lifestyle has left them with bad livers, multiple divorces, and living in a squalid house in Vallejo, California. Then one morning everything changes when an assertive twelve-year-old girl named Allison appears on their front porch and announces that she has been sent to stay with her father for the summer. Meanwhile, years ago, the band's namesake and inspiration, Uncle Joe, takes a long strange trip as a vagabond hippie through the '60s, '70s, and '80s that includes brushes with Ken Kesey's bus, Watergate, the Pet Rock, Iran Contra, and Jerry Garcia. Inspired by their experience with Allison and their budding paternal instincts, recollections of Uncle Joe, and a well-played Stratocaster with the initials "JG", the members of Uncle Joe's Band begin to play a new tune in a major key.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 30 pages
File Size : 41,5 Mb
Release : 2020-09-15
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798686346246

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Triggered by Brad Gosse Pdf

With this new year came a new kind of culture. Everyone wants everyone fired. They're vultures. They go online just to get outraged. They find some offense on every web page. The topic of alcohol triggers feelings of bad. Because your family tore apart thanks to your drunk dad. Topics like abuse will trigger so many. Because dad hit mom. He'll serve 5-20. They want protection from all the things that hurt. They'll stalk you offline and you might lose your shirt. Content online sends their rage through the ceiling. Even though nobody is responsible for their feelings. They wish everything to be rainbows and puppies. Just like when they were kids with teddy bear stuffies. You can't censor the internet with your limited power. So blame your parents for raising a delicate flower.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 26 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 2020-03-08
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798622801198

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Daddy Daughter Date Night by Brad Gosse Pdf

Mom's getting ready for her girl's night out. Nobody knows how tonight will work out. Dad's cooking skills are limited to BBQ. And when it comes to cleaning he doesn't have a clue. It's just more convenient for dad to go out. But first, on Facebook out loud he will shout. Daddy daughter date night is what he proclaims. Impressing random friends online is dad's game. It's just an excuse to avoid domestic work. Or leave a messy kitchen for mom to clean. Like a jerk. Tonight your dad will treat you like a queen. It's not about you. He just doesn't want to cook or clean. Daddy daughter date night is just a big farce. His Facebook responses have been pretty sparse. Now you know daddy daughter date night is lame. Next time you can expect more of the same

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 32 pages
File Size : 44,7 Mb
Release : 2021-04-03
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798732636598

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Camel Tony by Brad Gosse Pdf

Camel Tony loves sandwiches with roast beef. Camel Tony Doesn't mind if you queef. He sits at the back of your yoga class. When you're in downward dog, he looks at your ass. Camel Tony likes to visit the beach. And he loves everything flavoured with peach. He'll pick up tampons when he shops. Wherever he goes, he brings a bucket and a mop. Camel Tony loves to eat lima beans. And he doesn't care if your vagina's clean. Camel Tony has a cute little Beagle. Camel Tony can teach you how to kegel. Camel Tony loves eating pie. And he never leaves a good woman dry. Camel Tony hangs out in coffee shops. Camel Tony loves to munch box. Camel Tony enjoys taking flowers. Camel Tony doesn't care if you shower. Camel Tony will always pet your kitty. But he won't pay any attention to your titties.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Independently Published
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 2022-09-27
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798355004187

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14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written by Brad Gosse Pdf

14 of Brad's most popular dark humour books in one volume. Enjoy titles like: 18 Ways To Tell Kids That Their Parents Died Buster: The Perverted Ghost Candi's Nuts: Come in the morning each day Clip Clop: The Racist Horse Cop Gluck Gluck 9000 Ice Cream Man: Goes Pee In The Back Of His Truck Mike Hunt: Smells Like Fish Mom Runs Trains: On the weekend with dad's friends My Racist Dog: Only Trusts Whites Slappy Will: Kids Guide To Bullying in the Workplace Star Whores: Sex Workers Across The Galaxy Sweat Shop Kids: Make Everything You Own There Is No Farm: Kids Guide To Understanding Euthanasia Why Daddy Hits Mommy: Kid's Guide To Understanding Alcoholism These books are also available individually. Full colour pages and cover art included.

Author : Penelope Douglas
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 561 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2024-02-13
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780593641972

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Credence by Penelope Douglas Pdf

Three of them, one of her, and a remote cabin in the woods. Let the hot, winter nights ensue in this steamy dark romance from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas, now with bonus material. Tiernan de Haas doesn't care about anything anymore. The only child of a film producer and his starlet wife, she's grown up with wealth and privilege but not love or guidance. And when her parents suddenly pass away, she knows she should be devastated. But she's always been alone, hasn't she? Jake Van der Berg, her father's stepbrother and her only living relative, assumes guardianship of Tiernan. Sent to live in the mountains of Colorado with Jake and his two sons, Noah and Kaleb, Tiernan quickly learns that these men now have a say in what she chooses to care and not care about anymore. As the men take Tiernan under their wing, she slowly finds her place among them. Because lines blur and rules become easy to break when no one else is watching. One of them has her. The other one wants her. But he's going to keep her.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 26 pages
File Size : 45,9 Mb
Release : 2020-02-10
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798612419945

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Mommy Got a DUI by Brad Gosse Pdf

Since dad went away your mommy has tried. Her drinking problem. From you, she hides. After work mom likes to tie on a few. One or two or more tasty brews. The babysitter is happy to cover mom's lies. For a few extra bucks, and supersized fries. Tonight though is different from any other night. Mom's car hit a pole but she's gonna be all right. Her license, however. Is now out of sight. From now on mommy can't drive you to school. A bus pass will now be your transportation tool. The transit system may seem scary at first. Don't worry. Tomorrow your cherry will burst. It's not that bad so please don't you cry. There are many things worse than moms DUI.

Author : Brad Gosse
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 26 pages
File Size : 52,9 Mb
Release : 2020-09-08
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798684126239

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Candy Man Van by Brad Gosse Pdf

When we think of strangers we picture a van. Sometimes we picture a dirty old man. Sometimes there's candy. Sometimes there's a clown. Sometimes your mom's sick. In a hospital downtown. Strangers don't always appear to be strange. They don"t always look like the peeps on this page. The scariest strangers still offer you candy. But they don't look at all like sex offender randy. Pimps are strangers that aren't very funny. Leprechauns lure you with gold and with money. Creepy is the bee keeper who offers you honey. But whatever happens. Don't trust the easter bunny.