Finding The Gems The Search For Meaning In Life S Traumas And Losses
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Finding the Gems by Gwen Finestone MFT Ph.D. CT Pdf
During a career spanning four decades, Dr. Finestone has often been asked by patients: Why did that happen to me? Why isnt life more joyful? Why cant I have what others seem to have so effortlessly? Why do I feel stuck? Why didnt my previous therapy help? Was I born only to suffer? Where was God when this was happening? What is spirituality? How can I let go of my grief? In Finding the Gems, she explores these themespaying particular attention to how the losses and traumas weve experienced as children affect us in our adult lives. Even if your most significant losses or traumas occurred as an adult, lessons learned in childhood will inform your interpretation of adult experiences. Personalizing the work of the great Viennese psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, she blends psychology, spirituality, humanism, meaning and purpose in a soulful and penetrating account of her own traumas and bereavement. She argues that finding the meaning in painful experiences is what can free each one of us to be who we want to be. Each chapter is introduced by a quote and concludes with a spiritual lesson that will help you find the gems in painful memories and experiences.
Finding the Gems: The Search for Meaning in Life's Traumas and Losses by Dr. Gwen Hecht Pdf
During her career spanning four decades as a Therapist, Dr. Gwen Hecht has often been asked by patients: "Why did that happen to me?" "Why isn't life more joyful?" "Why can't I have what others seem to have so effortlessly?" "Why do I feel stuck?" "Why didn't my previous therapy help?" "Was I born only to suffer?" "Where was God when this was happening?" "What is spirituality?" "How can I let go of my grief?" In Finding the Gems, she explores these themes, paying particular attention to how the losses and traumas we've experienced as children affect us in our adult lives. Even if your most significant losses or traumas occurred as an adult, lessons learned in childhood will inform your interpretation of adult experiences. Personalizing the work of the great Viennese psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, she blends psychology, spirituality, humanism, meaning and purpose in a soulful and penetrating account of her own traumas and bereavement. She argues that finding the meaning in painful experiences is what can free each one of us to be who we want to be. Each chapter is introduced by a quote and concludes with a spiritual lesson that will help you find the gems in painful memories and experiences.
BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.
In her unique guide, Jill Brooke reveals how to cope with grief and turn this time of sadness into an opportunity for positive change and growth. Although they are no longer physically with us, we can keep our loved ones emotionally and spiritually close by incorporating their memories into our daily lives. As we draw comfort from their sustaining presence, we can have a positive impact on those around us. Recent research shows that the trauma of loss can stimulate creativity which leads to new pportunities for happiness and success. Katie Couric and Rosie O'Donnell are just a few people in this book who have coped with loss in unique and special ways. Including tips on how to preserve our memories, create lasting family histories, and reach out to others, Don't Let Death Ruin Your Life shows how the experience of grieving helps us to heal, learn, and grow. Filled with gentle guidance and practical advice, this indispensable handbook takes readers on a journey that will motivate, inspire, and transform their lives. "Should be on everyone's bookshelf . . . Charts a survival course with dignity and hope." (The New York Post)
The concept of this book came about several years ago when I observed insights emerging spontaneously during periods of silent meditation. Introspective contemplation producing wisdom wasn’t a surprise, yet the unexpected and effortless nature of certain deeper mysteries of life revealing themselves was startling and have left a lasting imprint on my mind. The purpose of sharing these insights is two-fold: to pass on beneficial ideas and life-lessons that have arisen in moments of meditation, and importantly, to encourage the reader to introduce (or enhance, as the case might be) a practice of contemplation in their lives, which would bestow similar bounties upon them directly. This book is written in the form of short distinct vignettes that each present an insightful gem. I have organized them into loosely defined sections, but you may choose to explore them in any order and in a piecemeal manner. I am grateful that these insights have emerged in my mind and provided me much needed guidance and self-direction at critical life junctures and on a day-to-day basis. I hope others might draw benefit from the ideas expressed in this book and be inspired to pursue their own paths to enrich their lives with self-discovery and emergent gems. —Manish Chopra, PhD _________________________ “A thoughtful series of vignettes revealing the ruminations of a dedicated meditation practitioner and business leader. Manish Chopra's openness and commitment to seeking the truth makes his writing relatable and pleasurable. Each insight and story presented can be a powerful daily contemplation. Filled with timeless wisdom, Emergent Gems will inspire its readers to walk mindfully along the spiritual path in a pragmatic and memorable manner.” —Deepak Chopra, MD, Author of Quantum Body and numerous other NY Times bestsellers on spirituality “Emergent Gems is a wonderful therapy for those seeking wisdom and inspiration on the road to a life of meaning. As a prominent business executive, devoted father and dedicated meditator, Manish’s reflections and gems are a gift for introspection that are accessible to anyone who is willing to look honestly inside.” —Dominic Barton, Chairman of Rio Tinto and former global managing partner of McKinsey & Co. “Manish Chopra's Emergent Gems is like a great box of chocolates for the reflective mind! Meditators and non-meditators alike will benefit from savoring each of these short pieces. Don't eat them all at once!” —Robert Kegan, Meehan Professor Emeritus, Harvard University; co-author, Immunity to Change
Nanabush. A name that has a certain weight on the tongue—a taste. Like lit sage in a windowless room or aluminum foil on a metal filling. Trickster. Storyteller. Shape-shifter. An ancient troublemaker with the power to do great things, only he doesn’t want to put in the work. Since coming home to Spirit Bear Point First Nation, Hazel Ellis has been dreaming of an old crow. He tells her he’s here to help her, save her. From what, exactly? Sure, her dad’s been dead for almost two years and she hasn’t quite reconciled that grief, but is that worth the time of an Algonquin demigod? Soon Hazel learns that there’s more at play than just her own sadness and doubt. The quarry that’s been lying unsullied for over a century on her father’s property is stirring the old magic that crosses the boundaries between this world and the next. With the aid of Nanabush, Hazel must unravel a web of deceit that, if left untouched, could destroy her family and her home on both sides of the Medicine Wheel.
The popular LGBTQ advice columnist and writer presents a memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey growing up as a queer, mixed-race kid in America's heartland to becoming the "Chicano Carrie Bradshaw" of his generation.
10 Foundations for a Meaningful Life (No Matter What's Happened) by Pam Cordano Mft Pdf
IT'S ONE THING TO WANT A MEANINGFUL LIFE; IT'S ANOTHER TO KNOW HOW TO CREATE ONE. In this personal, wise, and generous book, Pam Cordano, MFT outlines 10 Foundations anyone can follow to build a meaningful and joyful life, despite loss and suffering. Drawing from her personal story as the first woman in four generations not to lose a baby to authorities, Pam shares insights from her beginnings as a perpetual outsider, to her young adulthood as she struggled with addiction and aimlessness, to her awakening at 46 years old when she finally and definitively chose life. Pam was deeply moved by Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. In it he wrote, "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us." These words provided the impetus for Pam to find out what life was asking of her. She devoted herself to discovering how to live a life of meaning, and how to help others do the same. Based on her work with cancer patients, widows, and adoptees, this book distills the day-to-day methods to get unstuck and find meaning, no matter what's happened. AMONG PAM CORDANO'S MOST VALUABLE INSIGHTS: Why we can heal only when we're in Direct Experience How responsibility bolsters true freedom How to tap into the wisdom of our Future Self How to distinguish between our Coping Identity and Essence Identity Why Meaning is the only antidote to despair
The Confessions and Adventures of a Former Trappistine Nun reveals the difficulty she encounters after leaving the cloistered Cistercian abbey. She realizes she must face her past in order to find identity in the outside world. It is her conversion story. This book is a sequel to her first book, Behind the Wall (Authorhouse, 1663 Liberty Drive, Bloomington, Indiana 47403; www.behindthewallbook.com).Her intention is not to cast an unfavorable light on any one or any institution but to find peace and healing despite all the difficulties she encounters and to pray for lost souls, souls lost like she was when she first came out, and for lost shepherds who have failed to pasture their sheep. Hopefully these souls will see how much God loves them and how He never gives up on them.After seven years of prayer, austerity, and silence under simple vows, she finds herself out in the modern world. Returning from any religious order can be traumatic.Silence reigns in a monastic cloister; the only sound heard is the chanting of the Divine Office. There is no contact with the outside world--no TV, phones, newspaper nor visitors, except for parents seen behind a double grill twice a year. Coming out of this order is like returning from outer space and finding the world--so different. Emerging from this eternal silence, all of a sudden, she is thrust into this chaos of noise. Her journey is to find a path through this rubble and feel at home with God beyond the cloistered walls.The Cistercian novice studies for two years before she pronounces vows. She does not take a vow of silence, but silence permeates her whole being--because that is where God lives. After pronouncing vows, she is then consecrated to God and becomes His spouse--a bride of Christ. Once something is consecrated to God, you just don't throw it away. It is burnt because it is holy. She remains committed to God throughout her life, hoping for union with Him here and hereafter.This book was written with an abundance of love and concern for all those passing through troubling times and who are truly seeking God. There are always a few bad apples in every profession, but that does not necessarily make the profession or those who embrace it bad."All things work together for the good of those who love God" (Rom. 8:28).
"When women share the truth about life and loss . . . hope is restored" in this enlightening and comforting memoir about purpose, personal growth, and nature's ability to heal (Sarah Ban Breathnach). "There is so much life in the garden. That is why I come. Life that is gentle, self-supporting, and beautiful. Continuous in its cycles, grounded, pure." When her husband asked for a divorce after twenty-five years of marriage, Rebecca Winn felt untethered physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The security she'd had in her marriage was suddenly replaced by an overwhelming sense of fear, hopelessness, and dread. She felt invisible and alone and was horrified to consider that her deepest longing -- to know and be known by another person -- might never be realized. But from this fear emerged a powerful desire to answer one of life's most profound questions: How can we ever know another person if we do not truly know ourselves? Facilitated in measures by a love affair with a younger man, dedicated study of Jungian psychology, and a deep dive into global spiritual practices, Winn transformed heartbreak into wholeness through communion with the divine in nature. By turning to her garden for guidance, sanctuary, and inspiration, and dialing closely into the flora and fauna around her, she ultimately discovered what is possible when we are willing look at our unvarnished selves with an open mind -- and see others with an open heart.
The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change by Pauline Boss Pdf
How do we begin to cope with loss that cannot be resolved? The COVID-19 pandemic has left many of us haunted by feelings of anxiety, despair, and even anger. In this book, pioneering therapist Pauline Boss identifies these vague feelings of distress as caused by ambiguous loss, losses that remain unclear and hard to pin down, and thus have no closure. Collectively the world is grieving as the pandemic continues to change our everyday lives. With a loss of trust in the world as a safe place, a loss of certainty about health care, education, employment, lingering anxieties plague many of us, even as parts of the world are opening back up again. Yet after so much loss, our search must be for a sense of meaning, and not something as elusive and impossible as "closure." This book provides many strategies for coping: encouraging us to increase our tolerance of ambiguity and acknowledging our resilience as we express a normal grief, and still look to the future with hope and possibility.
New York Times Bestseller Winner of the Women's Prize for Fiction World Fantasy Awards Finalist From the New York Times bestselling author of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, an intoxicating, hypnotic new novel set in a dreamlike alternative reality. Piranesi's house is no ordinary building: its rooms are infinite, its corridors endless, its walls are lined with thousands upon thousands of statues, each one different from all the others. Within the labyrinth of halls an ocean is imprisoned; waves thunder up staircases, rooms are flooded in an instant. But Piranesi is not afraid; he understands the tides as he understands the pattern of the labyrinth itself. He lives to explore the house. There is one other person in the house-a man called The Other, who visits Piranesi twice a week and asks for help with research into A Great and Secret Knowledge. But as Piranesi explores, evidence emerges of another person, and a terrible truth begins to unravel, revealing a world beyond the one Piranesi has always known. For readers of Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane and fans of Madeline Miller's Circe, Piranesi introduces an astonishing new world, an infinite labyrinth, full of startling images and surreal beauty, haunted by the tides and the clouds.
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School
Family Life Education by Stephen F. Duncan,H. Wallace Goddard Pdf
Drawing on the best scholarship and their own years of professional experience, the authors of this thoroughly updated edition begin by discussing the foundations of family life education and encourage readers to develop their own outreach philosophies. The book then helps readers learn principles and methods for reaching out to the public and how to form and use community collaborations and use principles of social marketing to promote programs. The Second Edition contains five new chapters on education for personal well-being, marriage and relationship education, parenting education, sexuality education, and narratives of family life educators. The authors' practical, hands-on experience is used to demonstrate how readers can put principles from the latest and best scholarship into action and reinforced with the Interactive Explorations sections throughout.
Some of the country’s most admired authors—including Andre Dubus III, Mark Doty, Marianne Leone, Michael Patrick MacDonald, Richard Blanco, Abigail Thomas, Kate Bornstein, Jerald Walker, and Kyoko Mori—describe their treks through dark memories and breakthrough moments and attest to the healing power of putting words to experience. What does it take to write an honest memoir? And what happens to us when we embark on that journey? Melanie Brooks sought guidance from the memoirists who most moved her to answer these questions. Called an essential book for creative writers by Poets & Writers, Writing Hard Stories is a unique compilation of authentic stories about the death of a partner, parent, or child; about violence and shunning; and about the process of writing. It will serve as a tool for teachers of writing and give readers an intimate look into the lives of the authors they love. Authors profiled in Writing Hard Stories: Andre Dubus III, Sue William Silverman, Michael Patrick MacDonald, Joan Wickersham, Kyoko Mori, Richard Hoffman, Suzanne Strempek Shea, Abigail Thomas, Monica Wood, Mark Doty, Edwidge Dantict, Marianne Leone, Jerald Walker, Kate Bornstein, Jessica Handler, Richard Blanco, Alysia Abbott, and Kim Stafford Insights from Writing Hard Stories “Why we endeavor collectively to write a book or paint a canvas or write a symphony...is to understand who we are as human beings, and it’s that shared knowledge that somehow helps us to survive.”—Richard Blanco “Here’s what you need to understand: your brothers [or family or friends] are going to have their own stories to tell. You don’t have to tell the family story. You have to tell your story of being in that family.”—Andre Dubus III “We all need a way to express or make something out of experiences that otherwise have no meaning. If what you want is clarity and meaning, you have to break the secrets over your knee and make something of those ingredients.”—Abigail Thomas “What we remember and how we remember it really tells us how we became who we became.”—Michael Patrick MacDonald “The reason I write memoir is to be able to see the experience itself...I hardly know what I think until I write...Writing is a way to organize your life, give it a frame, give it a structure, so that you can really see what it was that happened.”—Sue William Silverman “After a while in the process, you have some distance and you start thinking of it as a story, not as your story...It was a personal grief, but no longer personal...[It’s] something that has not just happened to me and my family, but something that’s happened in the world.”—Edwidge Danticat “Tibetan Buddhists believe that eloquence is the telling of a truth in such a way that it eases suffering...The more suffering that is eased by your telling of the truth, the more eloquent you are. That’s all you can really hope for—being eloquent in that fashion. All you have to do is respond to your story honestly, and that’s the ideal.”—Kate Bornstein “You can never entirely redeem the experience. You can’t make it not hurt anymore. But you can make it beautiful enough so that there’s something to balance it in the other scale. And if you understand that word beautiful as not necessarily pretty, then you’re getting close to recognizing the integrative power of restoring the balance, which is restoring the truth.”—Richard Hoffman