Gnomes In The Barn

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Gnomes in the Barn

Author : Gene Olsen
Publisher : Xlibris Corporation
Page : 54 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2013-05-23
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781483643335

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Gnomes in the Barn by Gene Olsen Pdf

INTRODUCTIONS TO GNOMES (if you need one) How big are Gnomes? Not very. A Gnome can ride on the back of a duck. Three Gnomes can ride on a goose. They claim that twenty can ride on a horse. But how would they get up on a horse? I don't know. If you place your thumb on the table and stretch out your little finger as high as it will go, that is about as tall as a Gnome at your age. What do Gnomes look like? Gnomes look like people do. But they have slightly larger noses and cheeks. If they were as big as we are, which they think is much too big, they would look a lot like Santa Claus without the beard. Each gnome family has its favorite color and all the clothing that family wears is in that color with white trim. What do they eat? First, they eat six meals a day. Gnomes love pancakes. They make them in many shapes and varieties. They are also very fond of rice pudding. In the last one hundred years, they have developed a taste for chocolate, especially in or on pancakes. As a rule, if a food is sweet, it is OK. Do Gnome children go to school? Only one day a year. This is one of the reasons that they think that we are not very bright. In one day, Gnome children learn the proper method of eating pancakes and how to take naps. They do not understand why it takes our children years to learn the same things. What do Gnomes think of us? They think that we are big and clumsy, which is partly true. They think that we are loud, which we are. They think that our real purpose in life is to build barns for them to sleep in and to produce and food for them to eat, which is exactly what we do.

When A Gnome Follows You Home

Author : Carleen Irwin
Publisher : Gatekeeper Press
Page : 33 pages
File Size : 55,5 Mb
Release : 2023-10-26
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781662928710

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When A Gnome Follows You Home by Carleen Irwin Pdf

Bimble is not a regular gnome, like the kind in fairytales or nursery rhymes. You won’t find him at a gardening store. And lastly, he’s not a Christmas decoration! Bimble is a quirky gnome with a heart of gold, strong sense of humor, and a passion for adventure, always living life to its fullest. When he’s excited, he might break out into a fit of singing and dancing. He’s always making a fashion statement with his crazy collection of gnome hats. He tries to use his gnome magic for good, but sometimes causes a little trouble. Of course, his favorite place to be is in a garden, but Bimble is looking for a new place to live. Find out what kind of craziness can happen when a gnome follows you home.

No Country for Old Gnomes

Author : Kevin Hearne,Delilah S. Dawson
Publisher : Del Rey
Page : 416 pages
File Size : 41,6 Mb
Release : 2019-04-16
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781524797782

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No Country for Old Gnomes by Kevin Hearne,Delilah S. Dawson Pdf

Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. “A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.

Gnome and Garden

Author : Marcus Mennes
Publisher : Quirk Books
Page : 72 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2004
Category : Garden ornaments and furniture
ISBN : 1594740100

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Gnome and Garden by Marcus Mennes Pdf

Be Serious

Author : Stephanie Hayes
Publisher : Creators Publishing
Page : 326 pages
File Size : 51,6 Mb
Release : 2023-10-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 8210379456XXX

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Be Serious by Stephanie Hayes Pdf

Side part or middle part? Is Kohl’s Cash the mark of the beast? What book should be banned next? Can Mickey Mouse be stopped? Stephanie Hayes runs toward the messiest debates in our culture. This collection of short essays from the acclaimed Tampa Bay Times and Creators Syndicate columnist will take you on a journey through moments absurd, solemn and somewhere in between. Wielding a mix of droll humor and thought-provoking observation, Hayes side-eyes American life and zeroes in on her home state of Florida, where realities are often too farcical to believe. Hayes speaks across generations, making even the heaviest topics feel digestible in a world where daily news goes down like a spoonful of knives.

USA 101

Author : Gary McKechnie
Publisher : National Geographic Books
Page : 356 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2009-05-19
Category : Travel
ISBN : 9781426205316

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USA 101 by Gary McKechnie Pdf

Countless travel books display some aspect or region of America, but USA 101 stitches together a whole crazy quilt of iconic places, events, fairs, and festivals that celebrates our country in all its quirky diversity. Whoever you are, wherever you’re going, whatever you like to do, it’s here somewhere. And if you just stay home and travel armchair-style you’ll still find this guide a vivid, often humorous, always fascinating blend of world-famous and distinctly local places and events that add up to a national portrait. Here are fivescore and one indelibly American destinations, from the Statue of Liberty to the Golden Gate Bridge, from Graceland to Disneyland; perennial sporting rituals like the Army-Navy football game, the Indy 500, the Soap Box Derby, and the Little League World Series; plus dozens more favorite institutions old and new, from Native American powwows to the Miss America Pageant and monster truck rallies. USA 101 features entertaining descriptive narratives—concise, lively sketches that capture each selection’s history and special appeal—as well as detailed practical advice and essential information for visiting. Well seasoned by eclectic, irresistible sidebars, this guide is a panorama of treasured traditions, favorite pastimes, and beloved national possessions that will surprise, amuse, and inform even the most sophisticated traveler.

Garden gnomes urban tales

Author : Christian Courvoisier
Publisher : Lulu.com
Page : 114 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2024-07-03
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9781326536718

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Garden gnomes urban tales by Christian Courvoisier Pdf

Game of Gnomes

Author : M. J. Northwood
Publisher : Critical Tales
Page : 168 pages
File Size : 52,6 Mb
Release : 2020-05-15
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781838060503

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Game of Gnomes by M. J. Northwood Pdf

‘As creative as it is absurd, Game of Gnomes is a wonderfully funny, fantasy adventure for adults.' Life for a gnome isn't easy. Every hurdle in a gnome’s life is just a little bit too big. After years apart, the three gnomes, Gassy, Borty, and Turdlet, plan to scale the tallest challenge a thief can face: The Crimicompetition. As they fight for the clout, against MagInc—a corporation of unimaginable influence—the gnomes are about to discover how small honour amongst thieves can get. And so begins the Game of Gnomes.

Conversations with a Gnome

Author : M.E. Brinton
Publisher : Balboa Press
Page : 222 pages
File Size : 50,9 Mb
Release : 2015-10-27
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
ISBN : 9781504341004

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Conversations with a Gnome by M.E. Brinton Pdf

This tale is woven in imagination yet reality of how an invisible kingdom helped me get through a tough decade of family life, career, and keeping up personal creativity. At the end of each day I simply sat back and used fantasy to see what it might be like for invisible gnomes, the Little People, as my Irish granny called them, to view us human beings. Or so-called humanwhat is that?

The Waking Magic

Author : K.C. Lannon,M.C. Aquila
Publisher : K.C. Lannon
Page : 302 pages
File Size : 55,9 Mb
Release : 2024-07-03
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 8210379456XXX

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The Waking Magic by K.C. Lannon,M.C. Aquila Pdf

Everyone is drawn to magic for a reason. As Deirdre, James, Iain, and Alvey travel to the Wayfaring Festival, seeking answers for the brothers and magical materials for Alvey, forces Fae and human close in. Deirdre's fight to control her magic evolves as she begins to connect with it on a deeper level. Yet she risks losing everything to General Callaghan, the leader of the Iron Guard, who hunts her to harness her power into a weapon. Meanwhile, James begins his own quest for magic, drawing him closer to the Master, a sinister being who holds the fates of James and his mother.Joining the group is Cai, a wandering swordsman connected to the mysterious amulet Iain found hidden in an Unseelie dwarf's treasure horde. As Iain is faced with the ever-increasing danger of their journey, he believes the skilled, if uncooperative, man could secure both their safety and an end to the war before it begins. But facing imminent dangers both within and around the group, each of them is forced to make decisions that will alter their journey and even the fate of the country. This is the third installment in the seven-book Winter's Blight series.

Painting Gardens

Author : Norman Battershill
Publisher : Courier Corporation
Page : 132 pages
File Size : 44,5 Mb
Release : 1995-01-01
Category : Art
ISBN : 0486284018

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Painting Gardens by Norman Battershill Pdf

Expert guide for painting flower beds, landscapes, vegetable gardens, trees, much more. Magnificently illustrated.

Bill Foster's Lost Years

Author : Jason Balistreri
Publisher : Lulu.com
Page : 454 pages
File Size : 49,5 Mb
Release : 2024-07-03
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9781365261725

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Bill Foster's Lost Years by Jason Balistreri Pdf

Gnome Alone

Author : Kirsten Weiss
Publisher : misterio press
Page : 424 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2021-10-31
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781944767709

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Gnome Alone by Kirsten Weiss Pdf

Christmas is coming… and so is murder… It’s holiday season in small-town Doyle, and the town is pivoting from UFO tourism to Bigfoot Days. What’s the owner of a UFO-themed B&B to do? Stop the shift, of course. And control-freak Susan Witsend is just the woman to put the alien back in… Christmas? But when Bigfoot is blamed for a mass garden gnome theft, Susan is drafted to track down the kidnapped gnomes. The holiday season hits another sour note with the murder of a member of her caroling group. Are Susan’s organization skills up to juggling missing gnomes and tracking down a killer in time to ring in the festivities? Because as Susan and friends unwrap motives and alibis, she finds herself adding more names to the naughty list. She may have to face some hard truths about her own limits and about just how far a not-so-jolly killer will go… Gnome Alone is book five in the laugh-out-loud Wits’ End mystery series. A fast-paced and funny mystery packed with quirky characters, pets, and murder, it’s perfect for fans of Jana DeLeon, Janet Evanovich, and Donna Andrews. Get cozy and beam up this hilarious mystery today! Susan’s Bigfoot Investigation Protocol at the back of the book!

Nonna the Gnome

Author : M. K. Denham
Publisher : Monica Denham
Page : 119 pages
File Size : 42,5 Mb
Release : 2009-01-31
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781440476709

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Nonna the Gnome by M. K. Denham Pdf

Life on a farm is tough for the farmers, but even worse for the gnomes who live hidden; working to improve the lives of the animals, and humans, on the farm while trying to remain undiscovered. When Nonna, a 10 year old gnome girl, accidentally shows herself to the farmer, extreme measures have to be taken to sort the problem out. Which is not made any easier when Nonna decides to run away to spare her family the shame.

A Special Christmas with the Gnomes

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Crescent
Page : 28 pages
File Size : 54,8 Mb
Release : 1986
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 0517627337

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A Special Christmas with the Gnomes by Anonim Pdf

In a land far away, magical little people called gnomes deliver Christmas gifts and surprises instead of Santa Claus.