Grief Denied Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle version is available to download in english. Read online anytime anywhere directly from your device. Click on the download button below to get a free pdf file of Grief Denied book. This book definitely worth reading, it is an incredibly well-written.
Grief Denied is about healing: it is about coming to terms with the intimate pain and emotional violence that was unleashed by the Vietnam War. It is also a bittersweet love story in which a young girl meets a soldier-boy, a young bride loses her soldier-husband and how, on the 30th anniversary of their marriage, the mature woman is finally able to say good-bye to the man she will always love. Laurent tells her story with clarity and candor and a great deal of caring. There are vivid descriptions of her husband, Howard, who died in combat in Vietnam on May 10, 1968, when she was 22 years old and in the last phase of her first pregnancy. There are also sharp, tender portraits of her daughter Michelle, her parents, her friends and her lovers. The author doesn't seem to have held back anything or to have denied readers a full and complete view of her personality, including her dark side. So there are emotionally wrenching accounts of her depression, her suicidal feelings, her "insanity," as she calls it, as well as her therapy and recovery and rediscovery of prayer and faith. Grief Denied offers deeply moving passages from Howard's letters to Pauline shortly before his death. Laurent describes how Vietnam got to her, though she was thousands of miles away from the heat, the dirt and the mortars. If somehow or other you never did appreciate how Vietnam got to the heart of America, then this book ought to be at the top of your list of books to read.
From the internationally acclaimed, bestselling author of We Should All Be Feminists and Americanah, a profound reckoning with loss, written in the wake of her father’s death. During the brutal summer of 2020, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s beloved father, a celebrated professor at the University of Nigeria and an irreplaceable figure in a close-knit family, succumbed unexpectedly to complications of kidney failure. Notes on Grief is Adichie’s tribute to him, and a moving meditation on loss. Here Adichie offers a candid snapshot of the shock, loneliness, and disillusionment that followed the news of her father’s death. Her family, unable to be together except for on video calls, struggles to go through the rites of mourning amid a global crisis of unimaginable scale. As Adichie wrestles with his passing, she recalls with vivid, poignant detail who her father was: a remarkable survivor of the Biafran war, a man of kindness and charm, and a fierce supporter of his youngest daughter. Here is a uniquely personal, profound work of remembrance and hope by one of today’s luminaries—a book to bring us together in a time when we need it most.
Understanding Your Suicide Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt Pdf
For anyone who has experienced the suicide of a loved one, coworker, neighbor, or acquaintance and is seeking information about coping with such a profound loss, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to their grief. Using the metaphor of the wilderness, the book introduces 10 touchstones to assist the survivor in this naturally complicated and particularly painful journey. The touchstones include opening to the presence of loss, embracing the uniqueness of grief, understanding the six needs of mourning, reaching out for help, and seeking reconciliation over resolution. Learning to identify and rely on each of these touchstones will bring about hope and healing.
An examination of private narratives of loss in wartime and publicly legitimized forms of grieving. Drawing on sources such as diaries, poetry and weblogs and using gender as an analytic category, the book looks at men's and women's experiences of war 'at home' and 'at the front' and spans the two World Wars, the Vietnam War and the war in Iraq.
Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief by Evelyn Robinson Pdf
Based on the author's personal experience as a mother who lost a child through adoption and her experience as a social worker who has worked extensively in the area of post-adoption counselling with adults, this resource graphically describes the disenfranchised grief associated with adoption and suggests ways in which that hidden grief can be acknowledged and confronted.
An original, authoritative guide to the impact of grief on the brain, the heart, and the body of the bereaved Grief happens to everyone. Universal and enveloping, grief cannot be ignored or denied. This original new book by psychologist Dorothy P. Holinger uses humanistic and physiological approaches to describe grief’s impact on the bereaved. Taking examples from literature, music, poetry, paleoarchaeology, personal experience, memoirs, and patient narratives, Holinger describes what happens in the brain, the heart, and the body of the bereaved. Readers will learn what grief is like after a loved one dies: how language and clarity of thought become elusive, why life feels empty, why grief surges and ebbs so persistently, and why the bereaved cry. Resting on a scientific foundation, this literary book shows the bereaved how to move through the grieving process and how understanding grief in deeper, more multidimensional ways can help quell this sorrow and allow life to be lived again with joy. Visit the author's companion website for The Anatomy of Grief: dorothypholinger.com
After a significant loss, grief is normal and necessary. But sometimes a mourner’s grief becomes naturally heightened, stuck, or made more complex by especially difficult circumstances, such as suicide, homicide, or multiple losses within a short time period. This is called “complicated grief.” In this primer by one of the world’s most respected grief educators, Dr. Wolfelt helps caregivers understand the various factors that often contribute to complicated grief. He presents a model for identifying complicated grief symptoms and, through real-life examples, offers guidance for companioning mourners through their challenging grief journeys. This book rounds out Dr. Wolfelt’s resources on the companioning philosophy of grief care, making it an essential addition to your professional library.
The Deceased-focused Approach to Grief by Frank E. Eyetsemitan Pdf
Conventional grief models focus on the bereaved, including actions that they need to take to get back to normalcy following the death of a loved one. This book suggests that it might be helpful in the grieving process to focus on the deceased, instead. Research points to the benefits of altruistic acts and thoughts, including improvements in mood. Altruistic acts and thoughts also could be extended to the deceased, who in death has experienced a loss as well. By taking on the perspective of and being empathic toward the deceased, a “response shift” occurs that could result in mood improvement and happiness in the bereaved. The book provides guidelines for this alternative grief model in the death of a child, of a teenager, of a spouse/partner, and of a sibling; and in multiple deaths and in persistent grief experience among others. Based on motivational principles, a workbook is also provided for monitoring progress in coping with bereavement. Comprehension questions and additional readings are provided in each chapter to help the reader further explore the topic at hand. This book would be useful in a course on death, dying and bereavement; to healthcare practitioners/bereavement counsellors; and to scholars in death, dying and bereavement across different fields including psychology, sociology, social work, public health and religion. Most grief models focus on the bereaved, including actions the survivor needs to take to get back to normalcy after a loss. However, in the grieving process it might be helpful if attention is shifted to the deceased, instead. The bereaved, by doing things she or he perceives as pleasing to the deceased, might receive healing and satisfaction in return. Lisa Farino (2010) notes that there is no shortage of research pointing to the beneficial effects of focusing on others. In a study by Carolyn Schwartz and Rabbi Meir Sendor (1999), lay people with a chronic disease were trained to provide compassionate, unconditional regard to others who had the same illness. The results showed that the providers of care and compassion reported better quality of life than the recipients of care and compassion, even though both givers and receivers had the same disease. The givers showed profound improvements in confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, depression, and in role functioning. The researchers emphasized the beneficial importance of “response shift” (the shifting of internal standards, values, and concept definition of health and well-being) in dealing with one’s own adversity. Farino (2010) notes that this research is profound because in western culture the belief is that feeling happy tends to be getting something for yourself. There are biological origins to the notion that “it’s better to give than to receive.” Using the functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers were able to demonstrate a connection between brain activity and giving. People who gave voluntarily and also for a good cause experienced more activation of the part of brain that controls for pleasure and happiness (e.g, Harbaugh, Mayr & Burghart, 2007). Studies show that about 7% of the US population experience complicated or prolonged grief disorder (e.g., Kersting et al, 2011). This is persistent grief that does not go away, and many parents tend to experience this after the loss of a child. In their study Catherine Rogers and colleagues (2008) found bereaved parents reporting more depressive symptoms, poorer well-being and more health problems after a child’s loss almost 20 years later. Survivors usually show concern about how their deceased loved ones felt prior to death and if happy or not in the afterlife (e.g., Eyetsemitan & Eggleston, 2002). A study reported respondents used emotion discrete terms such as sad, happy or angry to describe the faces of deceased persons. The researchers suggested that the perceived emotional state of a deceased loved one could impact on the survivor’s mourning trajectory (e.g., Eyetsemitan & Eggleston, 2002). The bereavement model of placing focus on the deceased instead, provides an alternative to existing bereavement models, in helping the survivor to cope with a loss.
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School
This stunning YA debut is a timely and heartfelt speculative narrative about healing, faith, and freedom. Seventeen-year-old Marisol has always dreamed of being American, learning what Americans and the US are like from television and Mrs. Rosen, an elderly expat who had employed Marisol's mother as a maid. When she pictured an American life for herself, she dreamed of a life like Aimee and Amber's, the title characters of her favorite American TV show. She never pictured fleeing her home in El Salvador under threat of death and stealing across the US border as "an illegal", but after her brother is murdered and her younger sister, Gabi's, life is also placed in equal jeopardy, she has no choice, especially because she knows everything is her fault. If she had never fallen for the charms of a beautiful girl named Liliana, Pablo might still be alive, her mother wouldn't be in hiding and she and Gabi wouldn't have been caught crossing the border. But they have been caught and their asylum request will most certainly be denied. With truly no options remaining, Marisol jumps at an unusual opportunity to stay in the United States. She's asked to become a grief keeper, taking the grief of another into her own body to save a life. It's a risky, experimental study, but if it means Marisol can keep her sister safe, she will risk anything. She just never imagined one of the risks would be falling in love, a love that may even be powerful enough to finally help her face her own crushing grief. The Grief Keeper is a tender tale that explores the heartbreak and consequences of when both love and human beings are branded illegal.
The Grief Club is Melody Beattie's profoundly personal, powerfully healing book to help readers through life's most difficult times. The Grief Club is Melody Beattie's profoundly personal, powerfully healing book to help readers through life's most difficult times. Part memoir, part self-help book, part journalism, The Grief Club is a book of stories bound together by the human experience of loss in its many forms such as death, divorce, drug addiction, and the tumultuous yet tender process of recovery. It's a book you need to read and share.Twenty years ago, Codependent No More established Melody Beattie as a pioneering voice in self-help literature and endeared her to readers who longed for healthier relationships. Over the years, Melody has invited readers into her life with several more best-selling books--each punctuated with her trademark candor and intuitive wisdom.
Too Much Loss: Coping with Grief Overload by Alan Wolfelt Pdf
Grief overload is what you feel when you experience too many significant losses all at once, in a relatively short period of time, or cumulatively. In addition to the deaths of loved ones, such losses can also include divorce, estrangement, illness, relocation, job changes, and more. Our minds and hearts have enough trouble coping with a single loss, so when the losses pile up, the grief often seems especially chaotic and defeating. The good news is that through intentional, active mourning, you can and will find your way back to hope and healing. This compassionate guide will show you how.
This practical book is for people who are grieving, for people who want to support them as they undertake the painful journey of grief, and for anyone who wants to reflect on their own experiences of loss. When Alister asked Isobel, whose husband had died a few years before, what would have helped her most then, her response was immediate. ‘Someone who would walk with me. Not people who would talk at me and give me answers, but simply listen to me and walk with me.’ The grief walk. Grieving and loss are universal experiences, but how you experience grief is unique to you. In his ministry, Alister has found that models of the stages of grief are unhelpful, as is the idea of closure. Instead, he gives you permission to work through your grief in the ways, and at the times, that are helpful to you. Alister explores disenfranchised grief that occurs when we are denied the right to grieve and our loss isn’t recognised. Our lives are marked by countless losses and we all carry grief about many losses in our life. If we embrace our grief, we can journey on to something new and find fresh hope. Praise for The Grief Walk “The Grief Walk has a freshness and honesty about grief, beginning with its imaginative title and sustained until the final affirmation of hope. We all experience loss and grief in our lives. But, as Hendery writes, until we name and acknowledge a loss and recognise that we have a right to grieve, we are unable to come to terms with it. He emphasises that grief doesn’t follow a predetermined path and nor can we close it off like a tap. He describes a perceived end process of “closure” as psychobabble. While grief may not be permanently disabling, we learn to encompass it. This is not the same as closure. Grief may find expression in different physical and emotional symptoms and we can’t expect religious faith to provide a magical answer. Finding someone who listens and understands, who in a sense personifies the presence of God, can help us with the grief journey. The Grief Walk confronts the idea that grief is momentary or experienced in clearly-defined stages and points to a hope. This book is a gift for all who grieve or who walk with those who grieve.” John Meredith in Tui Motu Magazine. Issue 253 October 2020: 27 “…Far too often, people present grieving as a one-way process with well-defined stages, concluding with something they call “closure”. I strongly reject such an extremely unhelpful model. Alister does also; he is clear that your grieving is unique to you…” Rev’d Bosco Peters on Liturgy.co.nz “This book will read you as you are reading it. It is a book you will pick up and put down and pick up and put down as you find yourself walking again through parts of your life, maybe unexpectedly rediscovering boggy patches you had forgotten, or not realised are still painful… There is ancient wisdom here alongside modern psychology. There is gentleness, and there is a reality faced that grief is universal, painful, and not always an easy walk… But beware. As I read Alister’s words I found myself thinking, lamenting, crying, and laughing… I surprised myself with the depth of some of what rose to the surface for me. Ancient griefs, recent disappointments, and the ambivalent feelings that came, like fish to breathe the air again.” From the Foreword by The Rev’d Rob Ferguson Contents Title and Copyright Foreword Preface Acknowledgements How I use certain Words Authors who have Influenced Me 1 – Introduction 2 – Our Lives are Laden with Losses Acknowledging our Losses Disenfranchised Losses and Griefs 3 – Experiences of Disenfranchised Loss and Grief Grieving for Those Still Living Living Loss and Disability Relational Loss – Divorce and Dissolution Relational Loss – Ending of a Romantic Relationship Unrecognised Relationships The Loss of a Companion Animal Material Losses Infertility and Childlessness Grief in Foster Care The Losses of Miscarriage and Stillbirth Loss from Medical Termination Loss of Employment Discovering Disenfranchisement 4 – Understandings and Misunderstandings about Grief Our Loss and Grief is Unique – so Forget the Rules There’s No ‘One Size Fits All’ – so Forget Stages in Grief We Wax and Wane – so it’s Okay to Retreat from Time to Time A Continual Presence Which can Ambush us – so Forget the Timeline Continuing Bonds – So Forget about Having to Let Go Grief Doesn’t get Closed Off – so Forget about Closure Our Life has Changed – so Forget the idea of Returning to Normal We Grieve in Our Own Way – so Forget the Stereotypes 5 – Experiencing Grief More than Sadness Grief Isolates Experiencing Grief in our Body Experiencing Grief in our Emotions Experiencing Grief in our Thinking and Mental processes Experiencing Grief in our Behaviour Experiencing Grief in our Spirituality Secondary Losses and Loss of Identity When do we Need Professional Interventions? 6 – What do I say? What can I do? Sit Beside me on my Mourning Bench Some Dos and Don’ts Do Talk About the Loss It’s about Relationships Caring Companionship Silence, Tears, and Empathy 7 – Grief is about Love and Attachment Grief – the Price of Love Love as Attachment A Secure Base 8 – God and our Grief – But what Kind of God? Our Vulnerable God Good News Stories of Vulnerability, Loss, and Grief Becoming Vulnerable – Becoming like God Suffering Love that is With Us Discarding the Great Vacuum Cleaner in the Sky Jesus Began to Weep 9 – Words for our Grief – A Gift from the Psalms David’s Dirge Faith Incorporating Grief My One Companion is Darkness Challenging a Cover-up 10 – Walking with Job – A Story of Losing and Grieving The Scene is Set – Job 1:1 – 2:10 Job’s Friends – Job 2:11–13 What the Friends got Right Sitting Shiva What the Friends got Wrong Job’s Wife What Job Needed – Giving Voice to his Grief Anger and the Need to Blame Job’s Questioning Faith Containing Tensions The Climax – Job 38–41 Our Faith may be Challenged and Changed 11 – The Easter Walk Waiting in the Darkness and the Absence Gradual, Imperceptible Resurrection 12 – A Choice – Do we go Through the Pain or Around it? Stewards of our Pain A Great Freedom – How do we Respond? 13 – Our Search for Meaning after Loss Moving Grief from a Noun to a Verb What is Meaning? Reconstructing our Meaning after Loss Meaning in Love Living in a Changed World 14 – Hope Emerges Hopes and Goals Hope Isn’t a Magic Potion Our Sustaining Hope: If God is for us Selected Bibliography Also by Alister G. Hendery from Philip Garside Publishing Ltd Index About the Author Alister Hendery is an Anglican priest in Aotearoa New Zealand. Loss and grief have been a special focus of his ministry for the past 40 years. He has served as a parish priest, educator, counsellor, and funeral celebrant. These days, as well as exploring with others what loss and grief can mean for us, he ministers with faith communities in times of change. He is the author of Earthed in Hope: Dying, Death and Funerals, also from Philip Garside Publishing Ltd.
