Id Like To Play Alone Please

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

Tom Segura
I d Like to Play Alone Please Book PDF

Author : Tom Segura
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 205 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2022-06-14
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781538704622

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please by Tom Segura Pdf

A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

Tom Segura
I d Like to Play Alone Please Book PDF

Author : Tom Segura
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 205 pages
File Size : 51,5 Mb
Release : 2022-06-14
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781538704622

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please by Tom Segura Pdf

A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

Life of the Party

Bert Kreischer
Life of the Party Book PDF

Author : Bert Kreischer
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 48,5 Mb
Release : 2014-05-27
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250030313

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Life of the Party by Bert Kreischer Pdf

A collection of outrageous stories by the standup comic, TV host, and inspiration for the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country. The stories Kreischer shares in Life of the Party are a guidebook on how not to grow up. From his fraternity days at Florida State University, to his rise as a standup, to his marriage and first brushes with fatherhood, Kreischer shows you a path that may not lead you to maturity or personal growth. But it will lead you to a shitload of fun.

Sometimes I Lie

Alice Feeney
Sometimes I Lie Book PDF

Author : Alice Feeney
Publisher : Flatiron Books
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 52,7 Mb
Release : 2018-03-13
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781250144836

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Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney Pdf

My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?

You're Doing Great!

Tom Papa
You re Doing Great Book PDF

Author : Tom Papa
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 327 pages
File Size : 40,6 Mb
Release : 2020-05-12
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250240408

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You're Doing Great! by Tom Papa Pdf

Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best Life Don't Open the Mail I'm So Baked I Love Your Love Handles Don't Go Tubing Shut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!

If He Had Been with Me

Laura Nowlin
If He Had Been with Me Book PDF

Author : Laura Nowlin
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
Page : 336 pages
File Size : 55,5 Mb
Release : 2013-04-02
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781402277849

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If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin Pdf

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

Your Dad Stole My Rake

Tom Papa
Your Dad Stole My Rake Book PDF

Author : Tom Papa
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 303 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2018-06-05
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250144393

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Your Dad Stole My Rake by Tom Papa Pdf

“I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years. His lack of ability to perceive even the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague. Because he sees nothing, knows nothing and understands nothing, I always seek his advice for the most complex matters. Furthermore, I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is, because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything. He is really one of my favorite people.” —Jerry Seinfeld, author of SeinLanguage “Finally a funny book about parenting. Great observations. Great writing. Actually funny. I’ve always known Tom was hysterical, now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller. Can Tom Papa write all books?” —Jim Gaffigan, author of Dad is Fat It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment. Among the topics covered: - Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You’re Too Needy Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book.

Long Way Down

Jason Reynolds
Long Way Down Book PDF

Author : Jason Reynolds
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 319 pages
File Size : 42,7 Mb
Release : 2017-10-24
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9781481438278

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Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds Pdf

“An intense snapshot of the chain reaction caused by pulling a trigger.” —Booklist (starred review) “Astonishing.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “A tour de force.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) A Newbery Honor Book A Coretta Scott King Honor Book A Printz Honor Book A Time Best YA Book of All Time (2021) A Los Angeles Times Book Prize Winner for Young Adult Literature Longlisted for the National Book Award for Young People’s Literature Winner of the Walter Dean Myers Award An Edgar Award Winner for Best Young Adult Fiction Parents’ Choice Gold Award Winner An Entertainment Weekly Best YA Book of 2017 A Vulture Best YA Book of 2017 A Buzzfeed Best YA Book of 2017 An ode to Put the Damn Guns Down, this is New York Times bestselling author Jason Reynolds’s electrifying novel that takes place in sixty potent seconds—the time it takes a kid to decide whether or not he’s going to murder the guy who killed his brother. A cannon. A strap. A piece. A biscuit. A burner. A heater. A chopper. A gat. A hammer A tool for RULE Or, you can call it a gun. That’s what fifteen-year-old Will has shoved in the back waistband of his jeans. See, his brother Shawn was just murdered. And Will knows the rules. No crying. No snitching. Revenge. That’s where Will’s now heading, with that gun shoved in the back waistband of his jeans, the gun that was his brother’s gun. He gets on the elevator, seventh floor, stoked. He knows who he’s after. Or does he? As the elevator stops on the sixth floor, on comes Buck. Buck, Will finds out, is who gave Shawn the gun before Will took the gun. Buck tells Will to check that the gun is even loaded. And that’s when Will sees that one bullet is missing. And the only one who could have fired Shawn’s gun was Shawn. Huh. Will didn’t know that Shawn had ever actually USED his gun. Bigger huh. BUCK IS DEAD. But Buck’s in the elevator? Just as Will’s trying to think this through, the door to the next floor opens. A teenage girl gets on, waves away the smoke from Dead Buck’s cigarette. Will doesn’t know her, but she knew him. Knew. When they were eight. And stray bullets had cut through the playground, and Will had tried to cover her, but she was hit anyway, and so what she wants to know, on that fifth floor elevator stop, is, what if Will, Will with the gun shoved in the back waistband of his jeans, MISSES. And so it goes, the whole long way down, as the elevator stops on each floor, and at each stop someone connected to his brother gets on to give Will a piece to a bigger story than the one he thinks he knows. A story that might never know an END…if Will gets off that elevator. Told in short, fierce staccato narrative verse, Long Way Down is a fast and furious, dazzlingly brilliant look at teenage gun violence, as could only be told by Jason Reynolds.

Before We Were Strangers

Renée Carlino
Before We Were Strangers Book PDF

Author : Renée Carlino
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 2015-08-18
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781501105784

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Before We Were Strangers by Renée Carlino Pdf

From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M

Sicker in the Head

Judd Apatow
Sicker in the Head Book PDF

Author : Judd Apatow
Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks
Page : 545 pages
File Size : 45,5 Mb
Release : 2023-04-18
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780525509424

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Sicker in the Head by Judd Apatow Pdf

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • An all-new collection of honest, hilarious, and enlightening conversations with some of the most exciting names in comedy—from lifelong comedy nerd Judd Apatow. “When I need to read an interview with a comedian while in the bathroom, I always turn to Judd Apatow for deeply personal insights into the comedic mind. Place one on your toilet today.”—Amy Schumer ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: Vulture No one knows comedy like Judd Apatow. From interviewing the biggest comics of the day for his high school radio show to performing stand-up in L.A. dive bars with his roommate Adam Sandler, to writing and directing Knocked Up and producing Freaks and Geeks, Apatow has always lived, breathed, and dreamed comedy. In this all-new collection of interviews, the follow-up to the New York Times bestselling Sick in the Head, Apatow sits down with comedy legends such as David Letterman, Whoopi Goldberg, and Will Ferrell, as well as the writers and performers who are pushing comedy to the limits, and defining a new era of laughter: John Mulaney, Hannah Gadsby, Bowen Yang, Amber Ruffin, Pete Davidson, and others. In intimate and hilariously honest conversations, they discuss what got them into comedy, and what—despite personal and national traumas—keeps them going. Together, they talk about staying up too late to watch late-night comedy, what kind of nerds they were high school, and the right amount of delusional self-confidence one needs to “make it” in the industry. Like eavesdropping on lifelong friends, these pages expose the existential questions that plague even the funniest and most talented among us: Why make people laugh while the world is in crisis? What ugly, uncomfortable truths about our society—and ourselves—can comedy reveal? Along the way, these comics reminisce about those who helped them on their journey—from early success through failure and rejection, and back again—even as they look ahead to the future of comedy and Hollywood in a hyper-connected, overstimulated world. With his trademark insight, curiosity, and irrepressible sense of humor, Apatow explores the nature of creativity, professional ambition, and vulnerability in an ever-evolving cultural landscape, and how our favorite comics are able to keep us laughing along the way.

Stay Hungry

Sebastian Maniscalco
Stay Hungry Book PDF

Author : Sebastian Maniscalco
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 238 pages
File Size : 40,6 Mb
Release : 2018-02-27
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781501115998

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Stay Hungry by Sebastian Maniscalco Pdf

From comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco—star of the film About My Father with Robert DeNiro—an inspiring, honest, uproarious collection of essays tracing his career from playing boxing rings and bowling alleys to reaching the pinnacles of comedy success. At twenty-four, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. Two decades later, he’s on the Forbes’ list of highest earning comedians, selling out arenas, and starring in numerous hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? and Is It Me?. Stay Hungry tells the story of the twenty years in between. On the way from clueless rube to standup superstar, Seb was booed off stages; survived on tips and stolen food; got advice from mentors Andrew Dice Clay, Vince Vaughn, Tony Danza, and Jerry Seinfeld; fell in love; and stayed true to his Italian-immigrant roots. The one code that always kept him going: stay hungry, keep focused, never give up, and one day, you’ll make it.

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

Susanna Clarke
Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell Book PDF

Author : Susanna Clarke
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
Page : 1098 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2010-06-05
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781608195350

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Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke Pdf

In the Hugo-award winning, epic New York Times Bestseller and basis for the BBC miniseries, two men change England's history when they bring magic back into the world. In the midst of the Napoleonic Wars in 1806, most people believe magic to have long since disappeared from England - until the reclusive Mr. Norrell reveals his powers and becomes an overnight celebrity. Another practicing magician then emerges: the young and daring Jonathan Strange. He becomes Norrell's pupil, and the two join forces in the war against France. But Strange is increasingly drawn to the wild, most perilous forms of magic, and he soon risks sacrificing his partnership with Norrell and everything else he holds dear. Susanna Clarke's brilliant first novel is an utterly compelling epic tale of nineteenth-century England and the two magicians who, first as teacher and pupil and then as rivals, emerge to change its history.

The Play

Elle Kennedy
The Play Book PDF

Author : Elle Kennedy
Publisher : Elle Kennedy Inc.
Page : 438 pages
File Size : 42,5 Mb
Release : 2019-10-07
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781999549756

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The Play by Elle Kennedy Pdf

A brand-new standalone novel in the New York Times bestselling Briar U series! What I learned after last year’s distractions cost my hockey team our entire season? No more screwing up. No more screwing, period. As the new team captain, I need a new philosophy: hockey and school now, women later. Which means that I, Hunter Davenport, am officially going celibate…no matter how hard that makes things. But there’s nothing in the rulebook that says I can’t be friends with a woman. And I won’t lie—my new classmate Demi Davis is one cool chick. Her smart mouth is hot as hell, and so is the rest of her, but the fact that she’s got a boyfriend eliminates the temptation to touch her. Except three months into our friendship, Demi is single and looking for a rebound. And she’s making a play for me. Avoiding her is impossible. We’re paired up on a yearlong school project, but I’m confident I can resist her. We’d never work, anyway. Our backgrounds are too different, our goals aren’t aligned, and her parents hate my guts. Hooking up is a very bad idea. Now I just have to convince my body—and my heart.

Trick Mirror

Jia Tolentino
Trick Mirror Book PDF

Author : Jia Tolentino
Publisher : Random House
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 2019-08-06
Category : Literary Collections
ISBN : 9780525510550

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Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino Pdf

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “From The New Yorker’s beloved cultural critic comes a bold, unflinching collection of essays about self-deception, examining everything from scammer culture to reality television.”—Esquire Book Club Pick for Now Read This, from PBS NewsHour and The New York Times • “A whip-smart, challenging book.”—Zadie Smith • “Jia Tolentino could be the Joan Didion of our time.”—Vulture FINALIST FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE’S JOHN LEONARD PRIZE FOR BEST FIRST BOOK • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY AND HARVARD CRIMSON AND ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The New York Times Book Review • Time • Chicago Tribune • The Washington Post • NPR • Variety • Esquire • Vox • Elle • Glamour • GQ • Good Housekeeping • The Paris Review • Paste • Town & Country • BookPage • Kirkus Reviews • BookRiot • Shelf Awareness Jia Tolentino is a peerless voice of her generation, tackling the conflicts, contradictions, and sea changes that define us and our time. Now, in this dazzling collection of nine entirely original essays, written with a rare combination of give and sharpness, wit and fearlessness, she delves into the forces that warp our vision, demonstrating an unparalleled stylistic potency and critical dexterity. Trick Mirror is an enlightening, unforgettable trip through the river of self-delusion that surges just beneath the surface of our lives. This is a book about the incentives that shape us, and about how hard it is to see ourselves clearly through a culture that revolves around the self. In each essay, Tolentino writes about a cultural prism: the rise of the nightmare social internet; the advent of scamming as the definitive millennial ethos; the literary heroine’s journey from brave to blank to bitter; the punitive dream of optimization, which insists that everything, including our bodies, should become more efficient and beautiful until we die. Gleaming with Tolentino’s sense of humor and capacity to elucidate the impossibly complex in an instant, and marked by her desire to treat the reader with profound honesty, Trick Mirror is an instant classic of the worst decade yet. FINALIST FOR THE PEN/DIAMONSTEIN-SPIELVOGEL AWARD FOR THE ART OF THE ESSAY

Attempting Normal

Marc Maron
Attempting Normal Book PDF

Author : Marc Maron
Publisher : Random House
Page : 242 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2013-04-30
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780679644132

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Attempting Normal by Marc Maron Pdf

NATIONAL BESTSELLER People make a mess. Marc Maron was a parent-scarred, angst-filled, drug-dabbling, love-starved comedian who dreamed of a simple life: a wife, a home, a sitcom to call his own. But instead he woke up one day to find himself fired from his radio job, surrounded by feral cats, and emotionally and financially annihilated by a divorce from a woman he thought he loved. He tried to heal his broken heart through whatever means he could find—minor-league hoarding, Viagra addiction, accidental racial profiling, cat fancying, flying airplanes with his mind—but nothing seemed to work. It was only when he was stripped down to nothing that he found his way back. Attempting Normal is Marc Maron’s journey through the wilderness of his own mind, a collection of explosively, painfully, addictively funny stories that add up to a moving tale of hope and hopelessness, of failing, flailing, and finding a way. From standup to television to his outrageously popular podcast, WTF with Marc Maron, Marc has always been a genuine original, a disarmingly honest, intensely smart, brutally open comic who finds wisdom in the strangest places. This is his story of the winding, potholed road from madness and obsession and failure to something like normal, the thrillingly comic journey of a sympathetic f***up who’s trying really hard to do better without making a bigger mess. Most of us will relate. Praise for Attempting Normal “I laughed so hard reading this book.”—David Sedaris “Funny . . . surprisingly deep . . . laced with revelatory insights.”—Los Angeles Times “Superb . . . A reason that [it] is a superior example of an overcrowded genre—the comedian memoir—is Mr. Maron’s hardheaded approach to his history, the wisdom of experience.”—The New York Times “Marc Maron is a legend because he is both a great comic and a brilliant mind. Attempting Normal is a deep, hilarious megashot of feeling and truth as only this man can administer.”—Sam Lipsyte Praise for Marc Maron and WTF “The stuff of comedy legend.”—Rolling Stone “Marc Maron is a startlingly honest, compelling, and hilarious comedian-poet. Truly one of the greatest of all time.”—Louis C.K. “I’ve known Marc for years and I can tell you first hand that he’s passionate, fearless, honest, self-absorbed, neurotic, and screamingly funny.”—David Cross “Revered among his peers . . . raw and unflinchingly honest.”—Entertainment Weekly “Devastatingly funny.”—Los Angeles Times “For a comedy nerd, this show is nirvana.”—Judd Apatow