Your Dad Stole My Rake

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Your Dad Stole My Rake

Tom Papa
Your Dad Stole My Rake Book PDF

Author : Tom Papa
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 303 pages
File Size : 43,6 Mb
Release : 2018-06-05
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250144393

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Your Dad Stole My Rake by Tom Papa Pdf

“I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years. His lack of ability to perceive even the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague. Because he sees nothing, knows nothing and understands nothing, I always seek his advice for the most complex matters. Furthermore, I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is, because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything. He is really one of my favorite people.” —Jerry Seinfeld, author of SeinLanguage “Finally a funny book about parenting. Great observations. Great writing. Actually funny. I’ve always known Tom was hysterical, now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller. Can Tom Papa write all books?” —Jim Gaffigan, author of Dad is Fat It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment. Among the topics covered: - Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You’re Too Needy Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book.

You're Doing Great!

Tom Papa
You re Doing Great Book PDF

Author : Tom Papa
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 327 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2020-05-12
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250240408

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You're Doing Great! by Tom Papa Pdf

Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best Life Don't Open the Mail I'm So Baked I Love Your Love Handles Don't Go Tubing Shut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!

Dad Is Fat

Jim Gaffigan
Dad Is Fat Book PDF

Author : Jim Gaffigan
Publisher : Crown
Page : 290 pages
File Size : 55,5 Mb
Release : 2014-04-22
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780385349079

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Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan Pdf

Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.

Living Up The Street

Gary Soto
Living Up The Street Book PDF

Author : Gary Soto
Publisher : Laurel Leaf
Page : 178 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2012-06-27
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780307817433

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Living Up The Street by Gary Soto Pdf

In a prose that is so beautiful it is poetry, we see the world of growing up and going somewhere through the dust and heat of Fresno's industrial side and beyond: It is a boy's coming of age in the barrio, parochial school, attending church, public summer school, and trying to fall out of love so he can join in a Little League baseball team. His is a clarity that rings constantly through the warmth and wry reality of these sometimes humorous, sometimes tragic, always human remembrances.

Falling Backwards

Jann Arden
Falling Backwards Book PDF

Author : Jann Arden
Publisher : Vintage Canada
Page : 290 pages
File Size : 41,9 Mb
Release : 2012-02-21
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780307399854

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Falling Backwards by Jann Arden Pdf

Jann Arden is funny. And sincere. She has legions of devoted fans. And a radio show. She is a darling of the music scene—always candid, always unplugged. You thought you knew Jann Arden, but there is more—to her readers' delight, in Falling Backwards Jann reveals her childhood, her bond with family, her struggle in the formative years and what keeps her so grounded in the whirlwind entertainment industry. Jann has always been true to herself, except for a minor lapse when she was young. Oh wait, wasn't that all of us? From the tender and honest to the laugh-out-loud funny, Jann's stories from home and from the road during her pre-celebrity years will take you to unexpected places, including high school parties in farmer's fields, sleepovers under the stars, hard-to-believe summer jobs and the time she was stuck upside down in a brick barbecue. She reminds us of the inestimable value to a child of having teachers who believe in you and wide open spaces to play. But with the good times come the bad (and not just the bad perm). Jann opens up about the darker side of her so-called prairie perfect nuclear family and the first signs that her eldest brother was a uniquely troubled young man. In the days when Jann was experiencing a lot of firsts—first school play, first home perm, first kiss—how lucky for all of us that she stole away to her basement and taught herself her first song on her mother's guitar. In addition to being an incredible musician and multi-award-winning lyricist, Jann is a natural writer and simply an inspiration. Jann will capture your heart—and keep you in stitches—with her powerful stories about coming of age as an artist and as a human being. Jann brings her wit and that infectious sparkle to everything she does. This book is no exception.

McNally's Secret

Lawrence Sanders
McNally s Secret Book PDF

Author : Lawrence Sanders
Publisher : Open Road Media
Page : 351 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2013-03-12
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781453298237

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McNally's Secret by Lawrence Sanders Pdf

First in the series starring the sleuthing Palm Beach playboy from the #1 New York Times–bestselling and Edgar Award–winning author. Inveterate playboy Archy McNally gets paid to make discreet inquiries for Palm Beach’s power elite. But keeping their dirty little secrets buried will take some fancy footwork in McNally’s latest case. A block of priceless 1918 US airmail stamps has gone missing from a high-society matron’s wall safe. Lady Cynthia Horowitz, now on her sixth husband, is a nasty piece of work who lives in a mansion that looks like Gone With the Wind’s Tara transplanted to southern Florida. McNally’s search takes him into a thickening maze of sex, lies, scandal, and blackmail. When passion erupts into murder and McNally must dig even deeper to uncover the truth, he unearths a shocking secret that could expose his own family’s skeletons.

Sorry You're Lost

Matt Blackstone
Sorry You re Lost Book PDF

Author : Matt Blackstone
Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 40,7 Mb
Release : 2014-01-21
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780374371210

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Sorry You're Lost by Matt Blackstone Pdf

When Denny "Donuts" Murphy's mother dies, he becomes the world's biggest class clown. But deep down, Donuts just wants a normal life—one where his mom is still alive and where his dad doesn't sit in front of the TV all day. And so Donuts tries to get back into the groove by helping his best friend with their plan to get dates for the end-of-the-year school dance. When their scheme backfires, he learns that laughter is not the best medicine for all of his problems. Sometimes it's just as important to be true to yourself.

You Can't Lose Them All

Sal Iacono
You Can t Lose Them All Book PDF

Author : Sal Iacono
Publisher : Twelve
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2021-01-12
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781538735343

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You Can't Lose Them All by Sal Iacono Pdf

In this informative and entertaining book, learn from Cousin Sal how not to gamble your life away -- along with many other life lessons -- so you don't have to learn the hard way. Over the last forty years, Cousin Sal has made bets with doctors, lawyers, teachers, agents, bookies, writers, comedians, radio DJs, tv producers, baseball players, front office executives, bandleaders, movie stars, publicists, weed lab owners, hedge fund operators, and even professional wrestlers. From his early days growing up in Brooklyn and Long Island flipping baseball cards to now hosting podcasts and TV shows and managing several offshore accounts we don't talk about, Cousin Sal has truly become the average American sports fan's go to source for gambling tips. So here's how not to do it . . . With hilarious tales of love and loss, winning and (a lot) of losing, crazy family and fatherhood, and a life saga that inspired the Phil Collins' song, "Against All Odds," Cousin Sal has now written THE Vegas super-system, MIT-algorithmic, sharp-approved book for how to gamble like a pro -- or at least not how not to go broke and lose your kids to Child Protective Services.

Legend

Marie Lu
Legend Book PDF

Author : Marie Lu
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 318 pages
File Size : 41,7 Mb
Release : 2011-11-29
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9781101545959

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Legend by Marie Lu Pdf

"Legend doesn't merely survive the hype, it deserves it." From the New York Times bestselling author of The Young Elites What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem. From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths - until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family's survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias's death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets. Full of nonstop action, suspense, and romance, this novel is sure to move readers as much as it thrills.

Stay Hungry

Sebastian Maniscalco
Stay Hungry Book PDF

Author : Sebastian Maniscalco
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 238 pages
File Size : 42,8 Mb
Release : 2018-02-27
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781501115998

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Stay Hungry by Sebastian Maniscalco Pdf

From comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco—star of the film About My Father with Robert DeNiro—an inspiring, honest, uproarious collection of essays tracing his career from playing boxing rings and bowling alleys to reaching the pinnacles of comedy success. At twenty-four, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. Two decades later, he’s on the Forbes’ list of highest earning comedians, selling out arenas, and starring in numerous hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? and Is It Me?. Stay Hungry tells the story of the twenty years in between. On the way from clueless rube to standup superstar, Seb was booed off stages; survived on tips and stolen food; got advice from mentors Andrew Dice Clay, Vince Vaughn, Tony Danza, and Jerry Seinfeld; fell in love; and stayed true to his Italian-immigrant roots. The one code that always kept him going: stay hungry, keep focused, never give up, and one day, you’ll make it.

Doctor Sleep

Stephen King
Doctor Sleep Book PDF

Author : Stephen King
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 544 pages
File Size : 40,5 Mb
Release : 2013-09-24
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781476727653

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Doctor Sleep by Stephen King Pdf

After decades as an itinerant alcoholic, middle-aged Dan Torrance uses his remnant powers to assist the dying before coming to the aid of a twelve-year-old girl being tortured by a tribe of murderous paranormals.

The Book Thief

Markus Zusak
The Book Thief Book PDF

Author : Markus Zusak
Publisher : Knopf Books for Young Readers
Page : 578 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2007-12-18
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780307433848

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The Book Thief by Markus Zusak Pdf

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • ONE OF TIME MAGAZINE’S 100 BEST YA BOOKS OF ALL TIME The extraordinary, beloved novel about the ability of books to feed the soul even in the darkest of times. When Death has a story to tell, you listen. It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will become busier still. Liesel Meminger is a foster girl living outside of Munich, who scratches out a meager existence for herself by stealing when she encounters something she can’t resist–books. With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, she learns to read and shares her stolen books with her neighbors during bombing raids as well as with the Jewish man hidden in her basement. In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak, author of I Am the Messenger, has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time. “The kind of book that can be life-changing.” —The New York Times “Deserves a place on the same shelf with The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank.” —USA Today DON’T MISS BRIDGE OF CLAY, MARKUS ZUSAK’S FIRST NOVEL SINCE THE BOOK THIEF.

Penguin Readers Level 4: The Boy in Striped Pyjamas (ELT Graded Reader)

John Boyne
Penguin Readers Level 4 The Boy in Striped Pyjamas ELT Graded Reader Book PDF

Author : John Boyne
Publisher : Penguin UK
Page : 69 pages
File Size : 40,6 Mb
Release : 2020-11-05
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780241491140

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Penguin Readers Level 4: The Boy in Striped Pyjamas (ELT Graded Reader) by John Boyne Pdf

Penguin Readers is an ELT graded reader series. Please note that the eBook edition does NOT include access to the audio edition and digital book. Written for learners of English as a foreign language, each title includes carefully adapted text, new illustrations and language learning exercises. Titles include popular classics, exciting contemporary fiction, and thought-provoking non-fiction, introducing language learners to bestselling authors and compelling content. The eight levels of Penguin Readers follow the Common European Framework of Reference for language learning (CEFR). Exercises at the back of each Reader help language learners to practise grammar, vocabulary, and key exam skills. Before, during and after-reading questions test readers' story comprehension and develop vocabulary. The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, a Level 4 Reader, is A2+ in the CEFR framework. The text is made up of sentences with up to three clauses, introducing more complex uses of present perfect simple, passives, phrasal verbs and simple relative clauses. It is well supported by illustrations, which appear regularly. One day, Bruno's father gets a new job, and the family have to move from Berlin, Germany, to a new place. There is a strange camp at the end of the garden. Bruno is very unhappy and bored until he meets Shmuel. The two boys become very good friends. But why is Shmuel in the camp? And why is he wearing striped pyjamas? Visit the Penguin Readers website Register to access online resources including tests, worksheets and answer keys. Exclusively with the print edition, readers can unlock a digital book and audio edition (not available with the eBook).

Name Drop

Ross Mathews
Name Drop Book PDF

Author : Ross Mathews
Publisher : Atria Books
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 51,6 Mb
Release : 2021-02-09
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781982116491

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Name Drop by Ross Mathews Pdf

From Ross Mathews, the nationally bestselling author of Man Up!, judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and alum of Chelsea Lately, comes “a delightful mix of sweet and sour celebrity experiences” (Shelf Awareness) in this hilarious and irreverent collection of essays. Pretend it’s happy hour and you and I are sitting at the bar. I look amazing and, I agree with you, much thinner in person. You look good, too. Maybe it’s the candlelight, maybe it’s the booze. Either way, let’s just go with it. Keep this all between you and me, and do me a favor? Don’t judge me if I name drop just a little. Television personality Ross Mathews likes telling stories. He was always outrageous and hilariously honest, even when the biggest celebrity he knew was his favorite lunch lady in the school cafeteria. Now that he has Hollywood experience—from interning behind the scenes at The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to judging RuPaul’s Drag Race—he has a lot to talk about. In Name Drop, Ross dishes about being an unlikely insider in the alternate reality that is showbiz, like that time he was invited by Barbara Walters to host The View—only to learn his hero did not suffer fools; his Christmas with the Kardashians, which should be its own holiday special; and his news-making talk with Omarosa on Celebrity Big Brother, which, as it turns out, was just the tip of the iceberg. Holding nothing back, Ross shares the most treasured and surprising moments in his celebrity-filled career, and proves that while exposure may have made him a little bit famous, he is still as much a fanboy as ever. Filled with “charmingly told” (Booklist) tales ranging from the horrifying to the hilarious—and with just the right “Rossipes” and cocktails to go along with them—Name Drop is every pop culture lover’s dream come true.

Godforsaken Idaho

Shawn Vestal
Godforsaken Idaho Book PDF

Author : Shawn Vestal
Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Page : 227 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2013
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780544027763

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Godforsaken Idaho by Shawn Vestal Pdf

Nine stories illuminate what it means to be Mormon and how faith serves to humanize, in a work that includes a seriocomic portrait of a young Joseph Smith.