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IF NOT YOU, WHO ELSE? As the mighty alien fleet from the latest computer game thunders across the screen, Johnny prepares to blow them into the usual million pieces. And they send him a message: We surrender. They're not supposed to do that! They're supposed to die. And computer joysticks don't have 'Don't Fire' buttons . . . But it's only a game, isn't it. Isn't it? The first book in the Johnny Maxwell trilogy.
The alien spaceship is in his sights. His finger is on the Fire button. Johnny Maxwell is about to set the new high score on the computer game Only You Can Save Mankind. Suddenly: We wish to talk. Huh? We surrender. The aliens aren't supposed to surrender -- they're supposed to die! Now what is Johnny going to do with a fleet of alien prisoners who know their rights under the international rules of war and are demanding safe-conduct? It's hard enough trying to save Mankind from the Galactic Hordes. It's even harder trying to save the Galactic Hordes from Mankind. But it's just a game, isn't it? Isn't it? Master storyteller Terry Pratchett leaves readers breathless -- with laughter, and with suspense -- in a reality-bending tale of virtual heroism.
When the aliens on Johnny's computer game want to surrender rather than be blown up, Johnny has to learn to wage all-out peace and save them from destruction.
Sell the cemetery? Over their dead bodies . . . Not many people can see the dead (not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead have learnt a thing or two from Johnny. They're not going to take it lying down . . . especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were . . . well . . . alive. Particularly if they break a few rules . . . The second book in the Johnny Maxwell trilogy.
From a computer game in which the aliens want Johnny to negotiate a peace treaty for them, to the inhabitants of a cemetery who are just discovering how much fun being alive can be, to the time of the Blitz, join Johnny Maxwell and his friends in these three terrific tales from the master of comic fantasy. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND - Shortlisted for the Guardian Children's Fiction Award JHNNY AND THE DEAD - Shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal;A Writers' Guild Award Winner; Also televised by LWT for ITV JOHNNY AND THE BOMB - Shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal; Shortlisted for the Children's Book Award; Smarties Prize Silver Medal Winner
It's May 21 1941, thought Johnny. It's war. Johnny Maxwell and his friends have to do something when they find Mrs Tachyon, the local bag lady, semi-conscious in an alley . . . as long as it's not the kiss of life. But there's more to Mrs Tachyon than a squeaky trolley and a bunch of dubious black bags. Somehow she holds the key to different times, different eras – including the Blackbury Blitz in 1941. Suddenly now isn't the safe place Johnny once thought it was as he finds himself caught up more and more with then . . . The third book in the Johnny Maxwell trilogy.
In his insightful new book, Holy Shit: Managing Manure to Save Mankind, contrary farmer Gene Logsdon provides the inside story of manure-our greatest, yet most misunderstood, natural resource. He begins by lamenting a modern society that not only throws away both animal and human manure-worth billions of dollars in fertilizer value-but that spends a staggering amount of money to do so. This wastefulness makes even less sense as the supply of mined or chemically synthesized fertilizers dwindles and their cost skyrockets. In fact, he argues, if we do not learn how to turn our manures into fertilizer to keep food production in line with increasing population, our civilization, like so many that went before it, will inevitably decline. With his trademark humor, his years of experience writing about both farming and waste management, and his uncanny eye for the small but important details, Logsdon artfully describes how to manage farm manure, pet manure and human manure to make fertilizer and humus. He covers the field, so to speak, discussing topics like: How to select the right pitchfork for the job and use it correctly How to operate a small manure spreader How to build a barn manure pack with farm animal manure How to compost cat and dog waste How to recycle toilet water for irrigation purposes, and How to get rid ourselves of our irrational paranoia about feces and urine. Gene Logsdon does not mince words. This fresh, fascinating and entertaining look at an earthy, but absolutely crucial subject, is a small gem and is destined to become a classic of our agricultural literature.
This is the story of Jekub, the Dragon in the Hill with great big teeth and a great loud voice. (Well, that’s according to the nomes, but they are only four inches tall.) When humans threaten their new home in the quarry, the natural thing would be to run and hide. But the nomes have got the wild idea that they should fight back. After all, everyone knows that nomes are faster and smarter than humans, and now they have a secret weapon . . . The fantastically funny second book of the nomes, from the author of the bestselling Discworld series.
In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet . . . That's the old story everyone knows and loves. But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an amazing adventure. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it . . . Co-written by Terry Pratchett, aged seventeen, and master storyteller, Terry Pratchett, aged forty-three.
Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett Pdf
A collection of wonderful Christmas stories from the fantastically funny Terry Pratchett. With incredible illustrations from Mark Beech, it's the perfect stocking filler! Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store or, was even, arrested for burglary!? Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again. 'Funny, action-packed . . . a rip-roaring read' The Sun
Dragons at Crumbling Castle by Terry Pratchett Pdf
An illustrated collection of 14 short stories—featuring "dragons and wizards, councilors and mayors, an adventurous tortoise and a monster in a lake, along with plenty of pointy hats and a few magic spells"— was written when the author was a teenaged newspaper reporter. 50,000 first printing.
Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. ‘One of the most consistently funny writers around’ Guardian
“This crazy, gorgeous family novel” written at the end of the Great Depression “is one of the great literary achievements of the twentieth century” (Jonathan Franzen, The New York Times). First published in 1940, The Man Who Loved Children was rediscovered in 1965 thanks to the poet Randall Jarrell’s eloquent introduction (included in this ebook edition), which compares Christina Stead to Leo Tolstoy. Today, it stands as a masterpiece of dysfunctional family life. In a country crippled by the Great Depression, Sam and Henny Pollit have too much—too much contempt for one another, too many children, too much strain under endless obligation. Flush with ego and chilling charisma, Sam torments and manipulates his children in an esoteric world of his own imagining. Henny looks on desperately, all too aware of the madness at the root of her husband’s behavior. And Louie, the damaged, precocious adolescent girl at the center of their clashes, is the “ugly duckling” whose struggle will transfix contemporary readers. Named one of the best novels of the twentieth century by Newsweek, Stead’s semiautobiographical work reads like a Depression-era The Glass Castle. In the New York Times, Jonathan Franzen wrote of this classic, “I carry it in my head the way I carry childhood memories; the scenes are of such precise horror and comedy that I feel I didn’t read the book so much as live it.”
“Doctor Zhivago . . . Anna Karenina . . . A Hero of Our Time . . . The People’s Act of Love will remind you of all these books . . . Magnificent” (The Washington Post Book World). Set in a time of great social upheaval, warfare, and terrorism, and against a stark, lawless Siberia at the end of the Russian Revolution, The People’s Act of Love portrays the fragile coexistence of a beautiful, independent mother raising her son alone, a megalomaniac Czech captain and his restless regiment, and a mystical separatist Christian sect. When a mysterious, charismatic stranger trudges into their snowy village with a frighteningly outlandish story to tell, its balance is shaken to the core. “The narrative drive is amazing. So is the cold clarity of Meek’s imagination.” —Stephen King “Meeks builds multiple narratives to a bloody, satisfying, yet unsettling conclusion. People’s Act of Love stands not only as a keenly observed historical thriller but as a resonant tale of how one man’s moral fervor can turn to horror.” —Entertainment Weekly “Meek expertly renders each man’s devotion to the task of securing paradise on earth, and exposes the unsettling affinity between the devout servant of God and the cold, calculating murderer.” —The New Yorker “Set during the waning days of the Russian revolution, Meek’s utterly absorbing novel captivates with its depiction of human nature in all its wartime extremes.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) “This ingenious, intricate novel, a meditation on grand ideas that is also a suspenseful page turner, avoids that too-easy wonder Russia often inspires in its admirers.” —The New York Times Book Review
A finalist for the 2020 Thurber Prize for American Humor! "The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead" in this big-hearted, boundlessly beautiful romp through the Apocalypse, where a foul-mouthed crow is humanity's only chance to survive Seattle's zombie problem (Karen Joy Fowler, PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author). S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His tried-and-true remedies—from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis—fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one other. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of Seattle's dangerous new predators. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world comes from TV. What could possibly go wrong? Includes a Reading Group Guide.
