Pages From The Pizza Crows

Author : Witmer
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 42,5 Mb
Release : 2023-09-19
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 1088175031

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Pages from the Pizza Crows by Witmer Pdf

Hardcover edition: A new version of my first novel made to celebrate my early successes. Includes new professionally done artwork [cover reveal 7/19]. Also includes bonus content in the back--an afterword highlighting my tumultuous relationship with sudden popularity and unavoidable infamy. In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author's adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.

Author : Evan Witmer
Publisher : Odd Fiction
Page : 323 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2019-11-27
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781708222208

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Pages from the Pizza Crows by Evan Witmer Pdf

In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author’s adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.New for September 2020: The book has been reedited by professional editor Vincent Parisi.

Author : Evan Witmer
Publisher : Odd Fiction
Page : 377 pages
File Size : 55,8 Mb
Release : 2021-12-15
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9798783669637

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How To Burn This Book by Evan Witmer Pdf

Step one of burning a book is finding a disagreeable premise within its interior to justify the act. In order to simplify this process for the reader, each short story in this collection is followed by a precise reason the short story should be immolated, opined by the author’s many critics. "Lucky Girl Noir" is about a hard-boiled cop solving the murder of a ‘Lucky Girl’, one of many powered women born with probability consistenly in their favor. Burning this story would be a much needed win in the war against plagiarism. "Three Days West" is an acid-Western about a pair of turophile cowboys exploiting their otherworldly connection in frontier Colorado. This story deserves burning for stealing the modesty of American pulp heroes. "Zantar" is Tarzan but with aliens and raccoons. Burning seems appropriate, as it acts as a continuation of the author’s insatiable hunger for theriocide. "Sea Creatures" is a sapphic love story between a siren and a mermaid. The story deserves to be burned for suggesting bras are a form of art. "Lizard People Take Orlando" tells the story of Zaffre Davis, a young grad student running for mayor of Orlando while keeping his double life as a scalie a secret. Burning should be considered due to its depictions of the furry fandom as solely affiliating with Democrats. "The Spirit Realm" is about the survivor of a mass party poisoning who wakes up to find he can talk to and interrogate bottles of alcohol. Not a single character is represented by a bottle of absinthe; a crime best punished by burning. "The Pimp That Slapped the Ripper" is about the fall of Jack the Ripper at the hands of a violent, young procurer who will protect her property at all costs. The author’s new softness has robbed the story of certain graphic, historical details; their omission begets burning. "Washed" is the story of a man who loses all his memories when he takes a shower. Burn this one to effectively eliminate the author’s ugly, stinky past. "An American Weekend" is about a boy’s considerably awful week, and his preceding visitation by the embodiments of Friday, Saturday and Sunday; who guide him out of his funk. Turn it to ashes; this interpretation of the weekend reeks of upper-class privilege. "Roadwork" is about the daily struggles of a lemurtologist, an exorcist working for the DMV whose job is to remove ghosts from the road after a horrific accident. Tossing this story into the fire could fracture the ego of a hate-filled author obsessed with smudging the good name of the DMV.

Author : Kira Jane Buxton
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 54,6 Mb
Release : 2019-08-06
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781538745816

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Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton Pdf

A finalist for the 2020 Thurber Prize for American Humor! "The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead" in this big-hearted, boundlessly beautiful romp through the Apocalypse, where a foul-mouthed crow is humanity's only chance to survive Seattle's zombie problem (Karen Joy Fowler, PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author). S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His tried-and-true remedies—from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis—fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one other. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of Seattle's dangerous new predators. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world comes from TV. What could possibly go wrong? Includes a Reading Group Guide.

Author : Evan Witmer
Publisher : Odd Fiction
Page : 355 pages
File Size : 43,5 Mb
Release : 2021-01-01
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9798613720316

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Digest: Ten Short Stories by Convicted & Plausible People-Eaters by Evan Witmer Pdf

I've tracked down ten authors who have, at some point, participated in the act of cannibalism. I've collected one short story from each writer and combined them here for your amusement and observation. Isaac Cone presents “Margaritaville”, Jimmy Buffet’s hit song reinterpreted as a southern gothic. Sandeyu Yamamoto writes “Antiquing” about a family with a rare type of OCD where they haunt the object they most obsessed over. John Doe submits “Jesus Christ Meets the Chupacabra” which is exactly what it sounds like. Arsenio Alonso adds “A Vacancy in Staffordshire” about a team of researchers hunting for black-eyed kids in the British wilderness. Greige Wagner contributes “The Life & Times of a Rockefeller Pregnancy Zombie” about a girl who is hypnotized by the New World Order to feel unfathomable pain unless she uses her every egg for procreation. Mago Schlecter's brings us “Ring the Belles”, a mix between historical fiction and a slasher where the villain only kills the teenaged daughters of slave-owners in the Antebellum South. Cassius Crown surrenders "Zooland” about a cursed town where everyone is reduced to their id at night becoming either vicious wolves or delicious deer. Bonny Bride sends “Glee-Maiden”, a story about a woman seeking to make it in the male-dominated field of killer clowning. Matthew Hoga pens “Comorbidity”, the story of two different plagues of zombie with wildly different styles that collide in the ruins of Zhengzhou, China. Joss Iger authors “Six O’s”, the most light-hearted of the bunch, about a man who can only orgasm six more times before he can never do it again. I share these stories in hopes of emphasizing the unique voices oft ignored in favor of traditional masticators.

Author : Lea Redmond
Publisher : Chronicle Books
Page : 12 pages
File Size : 42,8 Mb
Release : 2022-07-26
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781797213484

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Made with Love: Pizza! by Lea Redmond Pdf

Create the perfect pizza with each turn of the page in this adorable board book that shows any pie is made better with love—and someone to share it with. Let's make a pizza! Can you guess each ingredient as it's added? Soon the pizza will be ready to eat—overflowing with tasty toppings and piping hot, fresh out of the oven! Artfully drizzled with Lea Redmond's fun-loving guessing game and topped with mouthwatering illustrations from Flora Waycott, this pizza-shaped board book is stacked with treats for hungry young readers. With every turn of these satisfyingly thick pages, a new, delicious topping is revealed, leaving readers with a picturesque plate of pizza at the end. Celebrate a classic family tradition with this appetizing board book. GUESSING GAME: With each turn of the page, guess a new pizza topping! Which is your favorite? From olives to peppers, you have lots to choose from. Sure to encourage early readers—and picky eaters—to get excited about lunch and dinner. DURABLE & PERFECT FOR LITTLE HANDS: Rounded, thick board construction makes this book both resistant to damages and perfect for little hands. IT LOOKS SO REAL YOU COULD EAT IT: With shaped pages, yummy illustrations, and glimmering foil, this tactile board book mimics the delicious object quality of a real pizza. Just don't actually try to eat it! BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Bestselling author Lea Redmond's Letters To series alone has sold more than 3 million copies. This is her modern, delicious, and innovative take on Sam's Sandwich—featuring every kid's favorite food: pizza! Perfect for: Parents and grandparents Gift-givers Pizza lovers

Author : Charles M. Schulz
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 33 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2014
Category : Baseball stories
ISBN : 0795342136

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I've Been Traded for a Pizza: to 10; Pages:11 to 20; Pages:21 to 30; Pages:31 to 33 by Charles M. Schulz Pdf

Author : Stephen Krensky
Publisher : Cartwheel Books
Page : 32 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 1992
Category : Cookery, American
ISBN : 0590448447

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The Pizza Book by Stephen Krensky Pdf

Explains the origins of pizza and gives directions for preparing a pizza.

Author : Melissa Wiley
Publisher : Random House Books for Young Readers
Page : 50 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2012-08-07
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780375869822

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Fox and Crow Are Not Friends by Melissa Wiley Pdf

Fox and Crow can agree on two things: their love of cheese and loathing of each other. These cagey animals will do whatever they can to outwit their sworn enemy and claim sole possession of the prized cheese they keep finding. But they are too caught up in their plotting and planning to realize they've picked the wrong house to steal from—since the mother of the house is one fed up Mama Bear who knows exactly how to contend with freeloaders.

Author : Cindy Barden
Publisher : Milliken Publishing Company
Page : 9 pages
File Size : 46,9 Mb
Release : 2000-09-01
Category : Education
ISBN : 9780787725228

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Just Think! Evaluation - Gr 5 by Cindy Barden Pdf

This packet is designed to teach critical thinking skills in conjuction with Benjamin Bloom's hierarchy of educational objectives. These engaging activities will teach students to make logical deductions, identify "the moral of the story," analyze criteria, decide what information is relevant and what is not, spot common attributes, and more! Answer key is included.

Author : Cindy Barden
Publisher : Milliken Publishing Company
Page : 8 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2000-09-01
Category : Education
ISBN : 9780787725204

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Just Think! Analysis - Gr 5 by Cindy Barden Pdf

This packet is designed to teach critical thinking skills in conjuction with Benjamin Bloom's hierarchy of educational objectives. These engaging activities will teach students to collect and organize data, identify cause and effect, use analogies, make logically sound decisions, and more! Answer key is included.

Author : Brooke Barker
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 198 pages
File Size : 48,7 Mb
Release : 2022-11-22
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 9781665901628

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How Do Meerkats Order Pizza? by Brooke Barker Pdf

In this “pleasing and informative” (Kirkus Reviews) illustrated nonfiction book for middle grade readers, Brooke Barker of Sad Animal Facts introduces readers to incredible animals and the bizarre things human scientists do to understand them. Did you know that crows never forget a face? Or that jaguars have a favorite cologne? Have you ever wondered how to pet a yeti crab? Or whether dogs can tell if you’re smiling? And just what is a burrowing bettong? Meet these weird, wonderful animals and the equally weird and wonderful scientists who study them. From crafting fake poop to slurping up bugs with a straw, there’s nothing these amazing humans won’t do to help us learn more about the animals around us. Packed with fascinating facts, this hilarious book from the bestselling creator of Sad Animal Facts reveals secrets like why roosters crow and how meerkats make decisions as a group—and how humans can better understand the wild creatures we share the planet with.

Author : Cindy Barden
Publisher : Lorenz Educational Press
Page : 52 pages
File Size : 46,7 Mb
Release : 2000-09-01
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9780787781460

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Just Think! Grade 5 (eBook) by Cindy Barden Pdf

The goals of the educational process were classified by Benjamin Bloom into a hierarchy of educational objectives. This classification system, known as Bloom's Taxonomy, divides cognitive objectives into subdivisions ranging from simple to complex. Although other systems have been proposed, Bloom's remains widely recognized by educators and utilized in Critical Thinking cirriculum. The six subdivisions include knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. This book is divided into six sections to match the subdivisions of Bloom's Taxonomy and designed to teach critical thinking skills by providing a variety of across-the-curriculum activities in math, language arts, science, social studies, history, geography, art, and music. An answer key is included.

Author : Benji Davies
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 5 pages
File Size : 51,5 Mb
Release : 2021-02-04
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1788006623

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Bizzy Bear: Pizza Time by Benji Davies Pdf

Author : Stefano Manfredi
Publisher : Allen & Unwin
Page : 144 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2018-07-25
Category : Cooking
ISBN : 9781760636784

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Pizza De Luxe by Stefano Manfredi Pdf

Discover how easy it is to create the healthiest, tastiest pizza this side of Naples. Pizza can be thin, thick, crisp, chewy, round, square, filled, fried or sweet - but the quality of the pizza is always defined by the quality of the flour, dough and toppings. Stefano Manfredi, Sydney's award-winning pizza maestro, takes the world's favourite fast food back to its origins - as a deliciously healthy and simple meal for everyone to enjoy.