Rude Bitches Make Me Tired

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 54,5 Mb
Release : 2013-10-22
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781250038418

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Rude Bitches Make Me Tired by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including: Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more! Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 46,5 Mb
Release : 2009-09-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1429952016

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You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 284 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2006-09-05
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0312339933

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Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

Author of the SEBA Book of the Year "We're Just Like You Only Prettier," Rivenbark's irresistibly hilarious essays explore the American South's glorious excesses and contradictions. These treasures are sure to leave readers hankerin' for more!

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 47 pages
File Size : 45,9 Mb
Release : 2013-08-27
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781466843097

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The Height of Rudeness by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

In this short e-original The Height of Rudeness, readers will get 5 essays - one never-before-published and 4 "sneak peeks" at the kind of manners advice Celia Rivenbark will be dishing up in her upcoming etiquette book RUDE BITCHES MAKE ME TIRED. Have you been "wait-listed" for your friend's wedding? Or, worse, have you been told, via engraved stationery, that you should "Please don't save the date"? This odious and ill-mannered trend must stop! How did it start? How should we cope with such an audacious display of asshattery? Leave it to Mama Celia to help in times like these. And a word of warning to brides-to-be? Quit showing off your engagement bling to your Facebook friends. They all expect to be invited and they're already shopping for Soda Streams.

Author : Jo Walton
Publisher : Tor Books
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2020-07-07
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781250309013

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Or What You Will by Jo Walton Pdf

Or What You Will is an utterly original novel about how stories are brought forth from Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy Award-winning author Jo Walton. He has been too many things to count. He has been a dragon with a boy on his back. He has been a scholar, a warrior, a lover, and a thief. He has been dream and dreamer. He has been a god. But “he” is in fact nothing more than a spark of idea, a character in the mind of Sylvia Harrison, 73, award-winning author of thirty novels over forty years. He has played a part in most of those novels, and in the recesses of her mind, Sylvia has conversed with him for years. But Sylvia won't live forever, any more than any human does. And he's trapped inside her cave of bone, her hollow of skull. When she dies, so will he. Now Sylvia is starting a new novel, a fantasy for adult readers, set in Thalia, the Florence-resembling imaginary city that was the setting for a successful YA trilogy she published decades before. Of course he's got a part in it. But he also has a notion. He thinks he knows how he and Sylvia can step off the wheel of mortality altogether. All he has to do is convince her. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 292 pages
File Size : 43,6 Mb
Release : 2010-04-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781429908252

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We're Just Like You, Only Prettier by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

"On the short drive to the preschool, I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old. Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself. Studies have shown that it's very important for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.

Author : Sarah J. Robinson
Publisher : WaterBrook
Page : 257 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2021-05-11
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780593193532

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I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die by Sarah J. Robinson Pdf

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Author : Nancy Ohlin
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 294 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2013-05-07
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781442464865

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Thorn Abbey by Nancy Ohlin Pdf

When Tess transfers to New England's premier boarding school, Thorn Abbey, she quickly falls for mysterious, brooding Max. Max is still mourning the death of his girlfriend, BeccaNand Becca's ghost is not quite ready to let him go.

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 164 pages
File Size : 53,7 Mb
Release : 2011-08-16
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781429984522

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You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

From the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning, comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as: - Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey - I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long - Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character - Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid - Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good! And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube And much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan + ORM
Page : 232 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2006-05-30
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781466801103

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Bless Your Heart, Tramp! by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress). Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else. Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.

Author : Sherry Argov
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2002
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781580627566

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Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov Pdf

Describes why men are attracted to strong women and offers advice on ways a woman can relate to men and gain a man's love and respect.

Author : Julian Jaynes
Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Page : 580 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 2000-08-15
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 9780547527543

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The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind by Julian Jaynes Pdf

National Book Award Finalist: “This man’s ideas may be the most influential, not to say controversial, of the second half of the twentieth century.”—Columbus Dispatch At the heart of this classic, seminal book is Julian Jaynes's still-controversial thesis that human consciousness did not begin far back in animal evolution but instead is a learned process that came about only three thousand years ago and is still developing. The implications of this revolutionary scientific paradigm extend into virtually every aspect of our psychology, our history and culture, our religion—and indeed our future. “Don’t be put off by the academic title of Julian Jaynes’s The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Its prose is always lucid and often lyrical…he unfolds his case with the utmost intellectual rigor.”—The New York Times “When Julian Jaynes . . . speculates that until late in the twentieth millennium BC men had no consciousness but were automatically obeying the voices of the gods, we are astounded but compelled to follow this remarkable thesis.”—John Updike, The New Yorker “He is as startling as Freud was in The Interpretation of Dreams, and Jaynes is equally as adept at forcing a new view of known human behavior.”—American Journal of Psychiatry

Author : Melinda Pollowitz
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 180 pages
File Size : 51,9 Mb
Release : 1985
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 0553203282

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Princess Amy by Melinda Pollowitz Pdf

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 45,9 Mb
Release : 2010-07-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 142992991X

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Belle Weather by Celia Rivenbark Pdf

Bestselling Author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on: --The joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up --How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day --Why French women suck at competitive eating --The truth about nature deficit disorder --The difference between cockroaches and water bugs --The beauty of Bedazzlers And much, much more! Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.

Author : Megan Frampton
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 384 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 2017-02-28
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780062412805

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My Fair Duchess by Megan Frampton Pdf

The unexpected duchess Archibald Salisbury, son of a viscount, war hero, and proficient in the proper ways of aristocratic society, has received orders for his most challenging mission: Genevieve, Duchess of Blakesley. How she inherited a duchy isn’t his problem. Turning her into a perfect duchess is. But how can he keep his mind on business when her beauty entices him toward pleasure? It was impossible, unprecedented…and undeniably true. Genevieve is now a “duke”, or, rather, a duchess. So what is she to do when the ton eyes her every move, hoping she’ll make a mistake? Genevieve knows she has brains and has sometimes been told she has beauty, but, out of her depth, she calls on an expert. And what an expert, with shoulders broad enough to lean on, and a wit that matches her own. Archie is supposed to teach her to be a lady and run her estate, but what she really wants to do is unladylike—run into his arms.