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It's never too late to have a good divorce Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children. The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.
The Good Divorce by Andrew Silvert,Becky Shook-wotzka,Sonika Tinker Pdf
So, what kind of a divorce do you actually want to have? Just by asking this question YOU create the possibility that you have a choice in the matter! Do you want a divorce that is painful, expensive, and damaging to your children - a divorce like so many others in our society today where a worst-case outcome seems to have become the expected and accepted norm? Or do you want a divorce that is relatively painless and drama free, not more expensive than it needs to be, and one that leaves your children whole and your ability to co-parent amicably intact? It is possible to have a Good Divorce! In The Good Divorce: How to consciously create the best possible outcome for you and your family, Andrew Silvert, Becky Shook-Wotzka, and guest author Sonika Tinker give you everything you need to know to create a Good Divorce for you and your family. As the driver behind the idea for this book, Andrew knew his divorce journey was a story that needed to be told. Shared with passion and practicality, his nuggets of wisdom will make you believe that a Good Divorce is possible for you and your family. At Transitions for Life Mediation, Becky worked with over 300 couples utilizing the tools and techniques shared in this book to make her client's Good Divorces a reality. Transitions for Life does the remarkable every day: they create agreement and put integrity into the experience of divorce!
Divorce is a complicated process and not a single event. It has major life implications and must be done right. In this regard, the good divorce is an ethical divorce. The Good Divorce does not follow the pattern of the ubiquitous self-help genre - over simplified and formulaic. Nevertheless, it is designed to be helpful by providing an in-depth exploration of the separation process, post-divorce adjustment, telling the children, caring for children from infants to teens, decision-making models, pathologies of divorce and, finally, hope and recovery through creating an important space for discovery. The author is a clinician and the book is written from the well of experience, scholarship and study that professional practice provides. Yet, it is not written academically and is intended for a general as well as professional audience. The reader will find the helpful inclusion of clinical examples and ample opportunities for reflection and deeper thinking into the many issues that arise in divorce for individuals and families.
The Good Divorce by Raoul Felder,Barbara Victor Pdf
Raoul Felder, a take-no-prisoners divorce attorney, draws from his experience to show readers how to avoid an acrimonious divorce and move on with life There is nothing better than a good marriage. But when a marriage goes bad, there is no better option than divorce to give men and women a chance to start over. Handled wisely, divorce can be a beginning, not an end. It is the doorway to a new life free of hurt, anger, and resentment. Felder and Victor cover each phase of divorce, from knowing when to call it quits, to choosing a lawyer, to the final decree. They explore prenuptial contracts, mediation, alimony, child custody, same-sex marriage, and life after divorce. They also share some of the most important facts one should know such as: • The first offer a woman gets when divorce negotiations begin is usually the best. • In all divorces, income rather than assets determine who pays what to whom. • Divorce is about compromise. Divorce court is not a boxing ring. After years of watching how divorce can go tragically wrong, Felder uses his expert knowledge, including case histories from his list of celebrity clients, to suggest how to make divorce more fair, civilized, and painless.
How to be a Good Divorced Dad by Jeffery M. Leving Pdf
Positive advice for divorced dads and their families The country's leading authority on fathers' rights Jeffery M. Leving presents a definitive how-to resource for divorced dads of any age, background, and marriage history. Leving offers targeted guidance and suggests techniques for staying connected with children and dealing with ex-wives—and in some cases a new girlfriend or the wife's new boyfriend—during the divorce and afterwards. This upbeat book offers good news for divorced dads and counters many of the myths that paint divorcing fathers as alienated, irresponsible, or absent. Includes advice for overcoming limited access to children with cooperative responses and legal remedies if necessary Reveals how to avoid depression and feelings of guilt that can cause a divorced dad to give up and lose connection with his kids Offers ideas for responding to an ex-wife's remarriage, moving, unfounded accusations, and other common issues Contains guidance for engaging in new relationships and possibly remarriage How to Be a Good Divorced Dad is practical and down-to-earth and offers dozens of real life examples of dads who have discovered the importance of staying involved in their children's lives.
Putting Children First by Hanna McDonough,Christina Bartha Pdf
A step-by-step guide to the emotional work parents must do to make their divorce a success for themselves and their children. The authors present practical instructions for conflict resolution and illustrate the importance of co-operation in divorce.
A timely unsettling of old "settled" questions surrounding divorce Amid the current nationwide debate over what "marriage" is, this book examines anew the nature and meaning of marriage from the standpoint of what adult children of divorce have actually experienced. Upholding the inextricable link between our personal identity and our origin in a union of two — and, more deeply, in the Fatherhood of God — the contributors to this volume reflect on the damage that divorce does to children, opening up important questions for all of us: What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to love and to marry? After decades of talk about the rights of adults to get a divorce and the benefits for children of an amicable split between parents (a so-called "good divorce"), these authors — theologians, philosophers, political scientists, lawyers, psychologists, sociologists, and cultural critics — effectively unsettle conventional opinion.
Author : Ben J. Wattenberg Publisher : American Enterprise Institute Page : 438 pages File Size : 53,5 Mb Release : 1985 Category : Political Science ISBN : 0671606417
In The Best Interest Of The Child, A Manual for Divorcing Parents by Baksh Nadir Psy. D.,Laurie Elizabeth Murphy Pdf
This book is a manual for parents who are divorcing. Written by a licensed clinical forensic psychologist and a Ph.D.nurse/counselor its purpose is to help parents save their children unnecessary anguish throughout the divorce process. The advice and direction contained here are eminently practical-detailing what adults can expect from a custody battle; what they will encounter in themselves and in their children (emotionally, physically, mentally) during divorce; helping parents to make sense out of their children's questions; offering guidance in making decisions for themselves and their kids; and explaining the ultimate importance of putting the child's needs first. What makes this book different and invaluable is that the authors refuse to take a sugar-coated or willy-nilly approach. They have witnessed, firsthand, too much pain an suffering in families during divorce to hold back their strong, direct words and warnings. "We are not afraid to take a stand," they declare up front. "In fact, we believe it is our duty to underscore the needs of your children so they don't get lost or disappear underneath legal paperwork." While they fully understand that adults do not set out to cause damage to their children, they also know that any divorce, if not handled properly, will absolutely cause serious problems to children. Such "proper handling" must include a strategically-planned blueprint that maps out a child's need for emotional health and well-being. In The Best Interest Of The Child guides the divorcing adults in the drafting of such a blueprint. Without it, they plead, "your children's lives will quickly stagnate or suffocate in the mire and muck created by spousal mud-slinging and attorney-posturing." The tone of the book, while uncompromising, also generates strong credibility for the author's words, and easily inspires confidence in their readers. Years of experience as therapists and family counselors allow the authors to present their material with authority, sanity and genuine wisdom. Topics covered include: what to expect when you are divorcing; the stress and fear that children take on; the need for extra vigilance and care toward children; softening or preventing the custody "battle"; the hidden needs of children; and dealing with an uncooperative spouse.
The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts by Judith Wallerstein Pdf
When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health
Divorce: A Psychosocial Study by Shelley Day Sclater Pdf
Several jurisdictions have attempted to render divorce more harmonious by abolishing matrimonial 'fault' and facilitating the resolution of divorce disputes by mediation. In Britain, these provisions appear in the Family Law Act 1996. The book presents a challenge to the underlying assumptions that conflict and the adversarial system are undesirable. Its focus is on adults’ experiences of divorce. In a series of interviews, divorcing people told their own stories of divorce. The personal narratives revealed that divorce can be emotionally traumatic, but it has positive sides too. The emotions of divorce are not pathological , but are readily explicable as ordinary human coping strategies , in the context of the real material privations that many divorcing people suffer. These coping strategies often involve conflict and acrimony. From a psychodynamic perspective, it is argued that these are integral, and psychologically necessary, aspects of the divorce process. This book is particularly topical in the light of the recent decision of the British Government to postpone the implementation of the Family Law Act 1996 and the acknowledged need for research to inform policy.
Is there really such a thing as a “good divorce”? Determined to uncover the truth, Elizabeth Marquardt—herself a child of divorce—conducted, with Professor Norval Glenn, a pioneering national study of children of divorce, surveying 1,500 young adults from both divorced and intact families between 2001 and 2003. In Between Two Worlds, she weaves the findings of that study together with powerful, unsentimental stories of the childhoods of young people from divorced families. The hard truth, she says, is that while divorce is sometimes necessary, even amicable divorces sow lasting inner conflict in the lives of children. When a family breaks in two, children who stay in touch with both parents must travel between two worlds, trying alone to reconcile their parents’ often strikingly different beliefs, values, and ways of living. Authoritative, beautifully written, and alive with the voices of men and women whose lives were changed by divorce, Marquardt’s book is essential reading for anyone who grew up “between two worlds.” “Makes a persuasive case against the culture of casual divorce.” —Washington Post “A poignant narrative of her own experience . . . Marquardt says she and other young adults who grew up in the divorce explosion of the 1970s and 1980s are still dealing with wounds that they could never talk about with their parents.”—Chicago Tribune
