The Kobold Wizard S Dildo Of Enlightenment 2 An Adventure For 3 6 Players Levels 2 5
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The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (An Adventure for 3-6 Players, Levels 2-5) by Carlton Mellick Iii Pdf
Are you ready to play some Dungeons and Fucking Dragons? The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 is an absurd comedy about a group of adventurers (elf, halfling, bard, dwarf, assassin, thief) going through an existential crisis after having discovered that they are really just pre-rolled characters living inside of a classic AD&D role playing game. While exploring the ruins of Tardis Keep, these 6 characters must deal with their inept Dungeon Master's retarded imagination and resist their horny teenaged players' commands to have sex with everything in sight. Featuring: punk rock elf chicks, death metal orcs, porn-addicted beholders, a goblin/halfling love affair, a gnoll orgy, and a magical dildo that holds the secrets of the universe.
In this town, everyone's a bottom feeder ... Five desperate criminals are robbing one of the last remaining banks in Freedom City, a town devastated by the previous nuclear war. But these are no ordinary criminals. They are members of the House of Cards, an organization designed to help the less fortunate citizens of the city. In a place where the poor are separated from the rich, jobs are as scarce as clean water, and even the doctors are as corrupt as the politicians, the House of Cards are a final beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless world. Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, mutant crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb. This is one mean asshole of a city. Welcome to Crab Town.
A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.
Larkin Mancinkus prides herself on making the town of Whynot, North Carolina just a little sweeter. As owner of Sweet Cakes Bakery, Larkin gets all the town gossip – the sugar, the spice, and the everything not so nice. So when she finds herself on the tip of everyone’s tongue thanks to an encounter with a mysterious and handsome stranger, she learns the true meaning of ‘if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.’ Deacon Locke has spent his life traveling the world with no particular destination in mind. But when he rolls into Whynot on his Harley, he just knows there is something different about this town. What he doesn’t know is that out of all the places he’s traveled and all the people he’s met, the gorgeous bakery owner might just entice him to put down some solid roots. Come on down to see what’s cookin’ between Larkin and Deacon!
The Atlantic named this author as possibly Steve Bannon's contact in the White House (Rosie Gray, The Atlantic Feb 10 2017: " 'Think you should speak directly to my WH cutout / cell leader,' Yarvin said in an email. 'I've never met him and don't know his identity, we just DM on Twitter. He's said to be 'very close' to Bannon...Goal is to intimidate Congress with pure masculine show of youth, energy. Trump is said to know, will coordinate with powerful EOs..."); and a recent Vox article (Tara Isabella Burton, Vox June 1 2018) claimed that he is the "text" to Jordan Peterson's "subtext," and a "distilled" form of Peterson. Distilled means purer: yes, so why not read and understand the purer version? T. I. Burton also adds in this article that this author BAP is a kind of priest-king to thousands on Twitter and outside and is possibly leading a spiritual reawakening.Some say that this book, found in a safebox in the port area of Kowloon, was dictated, because Bronze Age Pervert refuses to learn what he calls "the low and plebeian art of writing." It isn't known how this book was transcribed. The contents are pure dynamite. He explains that you live in ant farm. That you are observed by the lords of lies, ritually probed. Ancient man had something you have lost: confidence in his instincts and strength, knowledge in his blood. BAP shows how the Bronze Age mindset can set you free from this Iron Prison and help you embark on the path of power. He talks about life, biology, hormones. He gives many examples from history, both ancient and modern. He shows the secrets of the detrimental robots, how they hide and fabricate. He helps you escape gynocracy and ascend to fresh mountain air.The pricing, he insisted on against all advice. It refers to the lucky 969 Movement of Burma, led by the noble monk Wirathu.Praise be to the Pervert. Praise be to his teaching of peace.Be careful.
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.
Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks by Ethan Gilsdorf Pdf
An amazing journey through the thriving worlds of fantasy and gaming What could one man find if he embarked on a journey through fantasy world after fantasy world? In an enthralling blend of travelogue, pop culture analysis, and memoir, forty-year-old former D&D addict Ethan Gilsdorf crisscrosses America, the world, and other worlds—from Boston to New Zealand, and Planet Earth to the realm of Aggramar. “For anyone who has ever spent time within imaginary realms, the book will speak volumes. For those who have not, it will educate and enlighten.” —Wired.com “Gandalf's got nothing on Ethan Gilsdorf, except for maybe the monster white beard. In his new book, Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks, Gilsdorf . . . offers an epic quest for reality within a realm of magic.” —Boston Globe “Imagine this: Lord of the Rings meets Jack Kerouac's On the Road.” —National Public Radio's “Around and About” “What does it mean to be a geek? . . . Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks tackles that question with strength and dexterity. . . . part personal odyssey, part medieval mid-life crisis, and part wide-ranging survey of all things freaky and geeky . . . playful . . . funny and poignant. . . . It's a fun ride and it poses a question that goes to the very heart of fantasy, namely: What does the urge to become someone else tell us about ourselves?” —Huffington Post
Satan Burger (20th Anniversary Edition) by Carlton Mellick, III Pdf
Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body are alive and amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
I Destroyed Your Life I Raped Your Wife I Am the Fucking Whargoul From the killing grounds of Stalingrad to the death camps of the holocaust. From torture chambers in Iraq to race riots in the United States, the Whargoul was there - killing and raping. It is a beast born in bullets and shrapnel, feeding off of pain, misery, and hard drugs. Cursed to wander the Earth without the hope of death, it is reborn again and again to spread the gospel of hate, abuse, and genocide. But what if it's not the only monster out there? What if there's something worse? From Dave Brockie, the twisted genius behind GWAR, comes a novel about the darkest days of the twentieth century. The modern world is dying and Brockie is here to put a bullet between its eyes and violate the corpse. This is all-out fucking war!
Shark Sex, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases. Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There's an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there's an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs. Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There's a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there's only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons. Also featuring the short stories: "Candy-Coated" - A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head. "Ear Cat" - A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly, horribly wrong. "City Hobgoblins" - A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger) "Porno in August" - A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror)
The Midnight Isles by Greg A. Vaughan,James Jacobs Pdf
An audience with the Crusader Queen leads the heroes through a mysterious portal to an otherworldly fortress that lies betwixt Golarion and the demonic Abyss. Bringing the fight for the Worldwound to its demonic source means dealing with the cultists of Deskari, demon prince of locusts, who infest the castle like a swarm of insects. Beyond the fortress lies the Abyssal realm of the Midnight Isles, lair of the succubus queen Nocticula, wherein lies the final secret of the powerful crystals empowering the Worldwound's demonic armies with mythic power. Can the heroes navigate the intrigues of three demon lords to strike a critical blow for the forces of good without losing their souls to darkness? The Midnight Isles is a Pathfinder Roleplaying Game adventure for 12th-level characters who have gained five mythic tiers. This volume also includes an extensive gazetteer of the Abyss, and an overview of the cult of Nocticula, along with a bestiary of several monsters and demon lords and part four of Robin D. Laws's Pathfinder Journal novella.
Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) by Carlton Mellick III Pdf
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
