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The Legend of Candy Claws by Aurelio Voltaire,Shamine King Pdf
A giant, black bat takes candy from bullies on Halloween and gives it to good little boys and girls on Christmas in this anti-bullying tale for children of all ages.
A giant black bat takes candy from bullies on Halloween and delivers it to good little boys and girls on Christmas in this anti-bullying tale for children of all ages. "Spooky, witty, bursting with heart!" - Caroline Thompson- screenwriter- The Nightmare Before Christmas"If Dr. Seuss and Dickens met Poe in a playground, the resulting collaboration might read like The Legend of Candy Claws, a sweet, creepy morality tale for kids, beautifully illustrated, endlessly charming and armed with an important, socially relevant message." - Fangoria Magazine
Candy Claws has turned to Halloween to satisfy his hunger for sweets. Since Christmas is a moot event for his forays against children. His humiliating defeat at the hands of his son Santa sends Candy Claw in another direction where he will meet another adversary named Pumpkin Head. Magic and humor are once again used to give Candy Claws his just deserts. Halloweens finest are brought to bear in an epic battle for the goodies that Candy Claws craves so much.
Out of the watery grave of Atlantis arises the legend of Candy Claws. For eons, this ancient being was the original Grinch of all holidays. His hordes of Kwakwas have brought untold misery and pain to the children of the world. But as the legend will reveal, goodness can come from evil.
Home decorating will never be the same. Close your curtains! Throw away your summery linens! Forget about those white eyelet pillow covers! And for Goth's sake, buy some black lights! Voltaire is here to help you with your home decorating dilemmas, guide you through the hardware stores and decorating centers (which are so difficult for Goths to navigate), and lay it all out on the line about which shade of black goes with which shade of black. Who knows?! One day soon he might have his own decorating line at a discount store. In this world of pastels and plaids, it's so hard for Goths to find anything aesthetically appealing. You go in search of Edward Gorey and wind up with an eyeful of Eddie Bauer. With Voltaire's Paint It Black you can turn the unbearably mundane into the delightfully macabre with little more than a touch of creativity and a can of black spray paint.
So what if 12-year-old Jack's great-great-great-great-great aunt has oddly youthful looks? (Probably cosmetic surgery.) Or a hat she never removes? (Fashion victim.) Or goes out into the creepy forest at midnight to play bingo? (Must be what people do in the country.) Who cares about that when her cottage doesn't even have Wi-Fi?! Forced to visit his distant relative with the unusual name of Gretel, Jack is about to find out that fairy tales aren't sparkly, cheesy love stories. They're dark. They have claws. They're a warning. And when you're the unwilling hero of your own fairy tale, you might be the one who's taught a nasty lesson.
Five suburban mall rats and a washed up Goth singer find themselves stranded in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey where they discover two horrifying truths: The Jersey Devil, hellspawn of folklore and legend, is real; and New Jersey (as many already suspected) is the gateway to Hell! With the help of one lone witch, this small group must face off against their deepest fears and the most unholy monsters in a battle where their very souls, the world they live in, and any chance of returning to Hot Topic in one piece is at stake! The first novel by musician and horror media personality, Aurelio Voltaire, Call of the Jersey Devil is a hilarious and terrifying homage to 80s horror and genre films. Like a mad doctor, Voltaire has Frankensteined together elements of Evil Dead, The Breakfast Club, Poltergeist, and This is Spinal Tap to create a creature feature that will have you laughing out loud when you're not glancing nervously over your shoulder.
What Is Goth? is a humorous, self-deprecating look at Goth culture from the inside out. Imagine The Preppy Handbook colliding with Charles Addams. Then add a lot more melancholy and a lot more spooky. What Is Goth? dispels the false stereotypes and reinforces the true ones surrounding Goths and Goth culture. "To the mundane," Voltaire writes, "Goths are weird, black-clad freaks who are obsessed with death; they are sad all of the time. Take a closer look at the Goth scene, however, and you will find a rich tapestry of ideas and practices and a menagerie of colorful characters. Oh, dear. I said 'colorful.'" Yes, Goths are pale, wear black clothing, love black makeup (on men and women), mope, listen to real downer music, and perfect the art of living in a perpetual state of ennui and melancholy. But there's so much more to being Goth. Goths come from all walks of life. Many are teenagers who live with their parents; others are doctors, lawyers, musicians, and so on. Most Goths are highly literate and creative, but all real Goths have to dress the part. In other words, "Abandon all hope ye who enter a Goth club in khakis!" Eerily illustrated, What Is Goth? is the perfect book for any Goth, Goth wannabe, or "mundane" who is hopelessly confused by all the gloom.
A supreme being named Hieronymous Poshe arrives on Earth. His mission? To find signs of intelligent life and keep his species from turning the entire globe into a colossal landing strip. Instead, he's found time and again how pathetic humans can be! Aliens, vampires, teenagers, the Goth scene itself... everyone's a target in this hilarious book! Loaded to bear with satirical dark humor by the world's leading authority, Goth rocker Voltaire!
Santa Claus’s daughter sets out to break a curse and free a magical kingdom—in this beloved New York Times bestseller. Though few mortals know his secret, Nicholas is more than a jolly red-suited man who visits children all over the world on Christmas Eve—he is also the king of Forever, Land of the Immortals. Each year he gets letters from millions of boys and girls, and helps make their Christmas wishes come true. But one year, a special little boy from New York City asks something Nicholas has never been asked before: “What do you wish for Christmas, Santa?” With that simple question, a magical story unfolds. Nicholas answers that his only wish is for a child. And soon the immortal people of the kingdom celebrate the arrival of Holly Claus, the princess of Forever and the first child to grace its ground. But their happiness is dashed when an evil sorcerer places a spell on the infant, turning her heart to ice and freezing her kingdom in time. Many years later, just in time for Christmas Eve, Holly travels to New York, intent upon saving Christmas and freeing the land of Forever. Holly will make this the most magical—and memorable—Christmas the world has ever seen. This ebook features a note from Brittney Ryan including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s personal collection.
A trio of mismatched mercenaries is hired by a young woman to evaluate the safety of a boy who may have been taken against his will to a New Mexico backwoods settlement, where the mercenaries encounter paranoia, mistrust, and insanity in the shadow of a monolithic idol.
The second spirited mystery in the New York Times bestselling Paws & Claws series. Wagtail, Virginia, the top pet-friendly getaway in the United States, is gearing up for a howling good Halloween—until a spooky murder shakes the town to its core.. Holly Miller doesn’t believe in spirits, but the Sugar Maple Inn is filled with guests who do. The TV series in development, Apparition Apprehenders, has descended on Wagtail’s annual Halloween festivities to investigate supernatural local legends, and Holly has her hands full showing the ghost hunters a scary-fun time. But the frights turn real when Holly’s Jack Russell, Trixie, and kitten, Twinkletoes, find a young woman drowned in the Wagtail Springs Hotel’s bathhouse—the spot of the town’s most infamous haunting. The crime scene is eerily similar to the creepy legend, convincing Holly that the death wasn’t just accidental. Now she’ll have to race to catch a flesh-and-blood killer—before someone else in town gives up the ghost... Delicious recipes for owners and pets included!