The Misreadbible Genesis

Author : J. R. Eldridge
Publisher : Lulu.com
Page : 194 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 2019-04-03
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780244134426

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The MisreadBible: Genesis by J. R. Eldridge Pdf

A collection of twisted Bible tales from the warped mind of J. R. Eldridge, taking the reader on a journey from the creation of the universe to the arrival of the Israelites in Egypt in this blasphemously funny collection. A lonely deity creates the universe in his mother's basement and makes a little clay man who falls in love with his own rib. After the humans engage in some freaky angel sex, God decides to flood the entire world, saving only a drunkard called Noah and his family. Once the humans have repopulated the Earth, God chooses one man called Abram, drags him from his home in the middle of the night, changes his name, and then tells him to kill his son, forming an everlasting covenant with him and his descendants. Later, Jacob steals his brother's birthmark, boinks his cousins, and comes up with an innovative way to breed sheep. He fathers a dozen kids including Joseph, whose brothers get tired of his dreams of grandeur and sell him to some shapeshifting Ishmaelites who take him to Egypt.

Author : J. R. Eldridge
Publisher : J. R. Eldridge
Page : 351 pages
File Size : 54,7 Mb
Release : 2021-01-06
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 8210379456XXX

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The MisreadBible: Book of Moses by J. R. Eldridge Pdf

Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?

Author : J. R. Eldridge
Publisher : J. R. Eldridge
Page : 404 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2022-01-14
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 8210379456XXX

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The MisreadBible: Gospel by J. R. Eldridge Pdf

In first century Galilee, a humble carpenter is given some rather unusual news: he is the Son of God! Leaving his home, family, and carpentry business, Jesus of Nazareth travels to Peraea to learn the ways of the Dunker from his barmy hermit cousin John, who has a penchant for plunging people into water. Returning to Galilee, he calls together a posse of twelve random dudes and begins his father’s mission to preach the Kingdom of God (whatever that means). Along the way, he heals the sick, casts out demons, gives bizarre ranting sermons, and amasses a following. But little does he know that a much bigger destiny awaits him…

Author : J. R. Eldridge
Publisher : Lulu.com
Page : 102 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2019-04-28
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780244181185

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A MisreadBible Christmas by J. R. Eldridge Pdf

The Nativity During the reign of King Herod of Judaea, an unwed teenage virgin called Mary is impregnated with a magical baby by the Holy Spirit. She and her fianc� Joseph travel to Bethlehem for a preposterous census, and Mary has to give birth in a stable. Meanwhile, a group of stargazing magi, who have traipsed hundreds of miles after a star, inadvertently inform the king of Judaea of the Messiah's birth. Herod's Christmas Carol King Herod, the infamous baby massacring tyrant of the nativity, is recast as Scrooge. On the day that would come to be known as Christmas Eve, he is haunted by the ghost of his dead wife Mariamne who has come to deliver a warning. He is visited by three spirits who take him on a journey to his past, present, and future. Will the king heed the spirits' message and mend his ways, or will he forever be the villain that the Bible portrays him to be? Bonus Parodies of A Visit from St. Nicholas and a selection of Christmas carols, and some nativity themed tweets.

Author : John C. L. Gibson
Publisher : Westminster John Knox Press
Page : 236 pages
File Size : 55,8 Mb
Release : 1981-01-01
Category : Bibles
ISBN : 0664218016

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Genesis by John C. L. Gibson Pdf

For decades, millions of Christians have discovered William Barclay's Daily Study Bible to be the ideal New Testament commentary series for both devotional reading and serious Bible study. Now, carrying foreard brilliantly the pattern established by Barclay, The Daily Study Bilble has been extended into a coverage of the entire Old Testament. Invaluable for individual devotional study, for group discussion, and for classroom use. The Daily Study Bible now provides a useful, eliable, and eminently readable way to discover what the Old Testament writers were saying then and what God is saying today.

Author : Sophia Taylor,Franz Julius Delitzsch
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 413 pages
File Size : 40,5 Mb
Release : 1889
Category : Religion
ISBN : OCLC:1000382269

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A New Commentary on Genesis by Sophia Taylor,Franz Julius Delitzsch Pdf

This book contains the first part a commentary on the Biblical book of Genesis.

Author : Brian Simmons
Publisher : BroadStreet Publishing Group LLC
Page : 254 pages
File Size : 55,6 Mb
Release : 2019-12-03
Category : Bibles
ISBN : 9781424560196

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The Book of Genesis by Brian Simmons Pdf

The Book of Genesis is God’s autobiography and the foundation upon which all revelation rests. The purpose of this book is to give the origin of all things, including the cosmic order of the universe and the covenant relationship between God and his people. Speaking the Word from his eternal dwelling place of light, God fashioned everything from nothing, perfectly displaying his awesome wonder. We will never be able to take the mystery out of Creation, for a God who is incomprehensible in his greatness accomplished it. One of the over-arching themes of Genesis is God’s blessing. His highest order is not the earth or the cosmos, it is man and woman, made after his kind, to be containers for his glory. Genesis showcases God’s redemptive heart toward the world—a theme that can be traced throughout the rest of the Hebrew Scriptures. When God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was completely formless and empty, with nothing but darkness draped over the deep. God’s Spirit swept over the face of the waters. And then God announced: “Let there be light,” and light burst forth! Genesis 1:1-3

Author : Ronald Youngblood
Publisher : Wipf and Stock Publishers
Page : 313 pages
File Size : 55,9 Mb
Release : 1999-12-21
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9781579103132

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The Book of Genesis by Ronald Youngblood Pdf

A thorough revision of Youngbloods two earlier studies: How it all Began and Faith of our Fathers, The Book of Genesis provides students with a vast resource for understanding the beginning of the universe, marriage, society, redemption, life, sin and civilization. Ronald Youngblood makes a profound application of the Genesis' message to the issues of contemporary life.

Author : Tremper Longman III
Publisher : Zondervan Academic
Page : 624 pages
File Size : 41,5 Mb
Release : 2016-02-09
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780310496083

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Genesis by Tremper Longman III Pdf

A new commentary for today’s world, The Story of God Bible Commentary explains and illuminates each passage of Scripture in light of the Bible’s grand story. The first commentary series to do so, SGBC offers a clear and compelling exposition of biblical texts, guiding readers in how to creatively and faithfully live out the Bible in their own contexts. Its story-centric approach is idea for pastors, students, Sunday school teachers, and all who want to understand the Bible in today’s world. SGBC is organized into three easy-to-use sections, designed to help readers live out God’s story: Listen to the Story; Explain the Story; and Live the Story. Praise for SGBC: “The easy-to-use format and practical guidance brings God’s grand story to modern-day life so anyone can understand how it applies today.”—Andy Stanley “Opens up the biblical story in ways that move us to act.”—Darrell L. Bock “It makes the text sing and helps us hear the story afresh.”—John Ortberg “This commentary breaks new ground.”—Craig L. Blomberg

Author : Ron J. Bigalke
Publisher : New Leaf Publishing Group
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 55,9 Mb
Release : 2008
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780890514801

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The Genesis Factor by Ron J. Bigalke Pdf

Praise for the Emily Tempest series: "Beguiling first mystery . . . wonderful."-The New York Times Book Review "Startling turns of phrase, vivid Outback setting, and rich rendering of cultural differences. . . . All in all, the novel is a corker, engaging from page 1 and on through to an ending that pulls out all the stops."-The Boston Globe "A delightful, engaging book."-The Philadelphia Inquirer "Perfect for mystery fans who are craving new horizons."-Library Journal "A hymn to the wit, courage, stark beauty and the power of dreaming of a unique people. One cannot help but be enriched by it."-Anne Perry Emily Tempest is appointed an aboriginal community police officer for the Moonlight Downs station. Investigating the possible murder of an elderly geologist, she encounters Danny, an emotionally fragile Stonehouse mob teenager who is traumatized by the image of "poison flowing green." The terrain of Australia, a Japanese rock garden painter, a rash of unexplained illnesses, and the implausibility of two elderly friends killing each other present Emily with a unique puzzle. Adrian Hyland won Australia's 2007 Ned Kelly Award for Best First Novel for Moonlight Downs, published in Australia as Diamond Dove, which was also a Book Sense Notable book. He spent many years in the Northern Territory living and working among the indigenous people. He now teaches at La Trobe University and lives in Melbourne. From the Hardcover edition.

Author : Howard F. Vos
Publisher : Moody Publishers
Page : 274 pages
File Size : 51,8 Mb
Release : 2019-03-05
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780802497697

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Genesis- Everyday Bible Commentary by Howard F. Vos Pdf

From Adam and Eve through to the patriarchs, the Bible is telling us who God is, who we are, and how we got into the place we’re in now. But it keeps going, it tells us what God has done and is doing to redeem us. The stories of Genesis come to life when someone explains the significance of all the little details we so often skip over. This is exactly what the best preachers do, but you don’t have to wait until Sunday’s sermon. Encounter the beautiful depth of Genesis through an enlightening verse-by-verse commentary from Howard Vos that’s both straightforward and insightful. You’ll gain: Important historical and cultural background Insightful comments on the stories of Genesis Help with the difficult passages And more! You don’t have to go to seminary to encounter God in exciting, new ways through His Word. Discover how much more enjoyable your personal study will be with understandable, quality Bible commentary for everyday life.

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 420 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 1904
Category : Bible
ISBN : OCLC:32886306

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The Book of Genesis by Anonim Pdf

Author : Dr. Jason Lisle
Publisher : New Leaf Publishing Group
Page : 29 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2015-07-27
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780890519004

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Understanding Genesis by Dr. Jason Lisle Pdf

There are many opinions and subsequent interpretations on the Book of Genesis. What did the author of Genesis intend and how can we possibly know, or is the important thing only what the Bible “means to you”? In this book, Dr. Jason Lisle answers questions such as: What are the most common mistakes people make in trying to understand Genesis?What are the necessary rules of biblical interpretation, and what is the proper role of science in understanding the Bible?How does one identify the various types of biblical literature, and how do the rules of interpretation handle each type – poetic, prophetic, historical, etc.? Is there one correct interpretation of the Bible, or are there many? Discover why alternative positions are rationally impossible. Unlock a powerful understanding of God’s Word and equip yourself with a reasoned defense against those who distort the Word of God.

Author : James McKeown
Publisher : Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing
Page : 409 pages
File Size : 48,8 Mb
Release : 2008-03-03
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780802827050

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Genesis by James McKeown Pdf

Bridging the gap between biblical studies and systematic theology, this book includes an exegetical commentary based on the Hebrew text and reflections on the theology of Genesis and its contribution to theology today.

Author : Tremper Longman III
Publisher : InterVarsity Press
Page : 192 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2009-08-20
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780830875603

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How to Read Genesis by Tremper Longman III Pdf

To read Genesis intelligently, we must consider the questions, the literature, and the times in which Genesis was written. In How to Read Genesis Tremper Longman III provides a welcome guide to reading, studying, understanding, and savoring this panorama of beginnings—of both the world and of Israel. And importantly for Christian readers, we gain insight into how Genesis points to Christ and can be read in light of the gospel.