Traveling With People I Want To Punch In The Throat

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People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Jen Mann
People I Want to Punch in the Throat Book PDF

Author : Jen Mann
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Page : 226 pages
File Size : 44,8 Mb
Release : 2014-09-09
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780345549839

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People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Pdf

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Jen Mann
Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat Book PDF

Author : Jen Mann
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 2021-01-05
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1944123180

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Traveling with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Pdf

Have you ever returned from a vacation and felt like you needed a vacation from your vacation? That's how New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann always feels.Packing a suitcase, putting on pants, and leaving the house already sounds like a lot of work, but then you have to deal with the punch list:Delayed flights.Center seats.People who think bare feet on an airplane is a good idea.Kids who don't use headphones.Dicey hotel rooms.Crappy wifi.Food poisoning.Plus the constant reminder that you've paid a fortune for this experience.This is the fourth book in Jen Mann's New York Times bestselling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!You'll want to pack a copy of this book in your carry-on so you can prop it over your face while you're napping--perfect for keeping the talkers at bay. You'll want to read it out loud on your next road trip--great for drowning out all the fighting in the backseat. And you'll want to have it handy when there's a three-hour wait at the amusement park--excellent for keeping your mind off how much you paid to stand in the heat for a rollercoaster just to make some f*cking memories.

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Jen Mann
Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat Book PDF

Author : Jen Mann
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Page : 225 pages
File Size : 50,9 Mb
Release : 2015-10-13
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780345549990

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Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Pdf

For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Jen Mann
Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat Book PDF

Author : Jen Mann
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 52,8 Mb
Release : 2021-02-18
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1944123199

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Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Pdf

If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted.The Punch List:Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you.The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton?"?The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important.

Midlife Bites

Jen Mann
Midlife Bites Book PDF

Author : Jen Mann
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Page : 273 pages
File Size : 54,7 Mb
Release : 2022-01-04
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780593158517

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Midlife Bites by Jen Mann Pdf

A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “I inhaled this book in one sitting; it’s a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another.”—Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren’t total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. Midlife Bites offers Jen’s trademark wit and honesty when it comes to important conversations and observations about women in midlife. Here, readers will be able to come together and find anecdotes and practical ideas to help navigate through this major point in their lives. For women who may feel isolated or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and, most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built, tackling everything that bites about midlife, where nothing is off-limits: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Jen Mann is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and whole, no matter what stage of life.

When You Reach Me

Rebecca Stead
When You Reach Me Book PDF

Author : Rebecca Stead
Publisher : Wendy Lamb Books
Page : 210 pages
File Size : 50,6 Mb
Release : 2009-07-14
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780375892691

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When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead Pdf

"Like A Wrinkle in Time (Miranda's favorite book), When You Reach Me far surpasses the usual whodunit or sci-fi adventure to become an incandescent exploration of 'life, death, and the beauty of it all.'" —The Washington Post This Newbery Medal winner that has been called "smart and mesmerizing," (The New York Times) and "superb" (The Wall Street Journal) will appeal to readers of all types, especially those who are looking for a thought-provoking mystery with a mind-blowing twist. Shortly after a fall-out with her best friend, sixth grader Miranda starts receiving mysterious notes, and she doesn’t know what to do. The notes tell her that she must write a letter—a true story, and that she can’t share her mission with anyone. It would be easy to ignore the strange messages, except that whoever is leaving them has an uncanny ability to predict the future. If that is the case, then Miranda has a big problem—because the notes tell her that someone is going to die, and she might be too late to stop it. Winner of the Boston Globe–Horn Book Award for Fiction A New York Times Bestseller and Notable Book Five Starred Reviews A Junior Library Guild Selection "Absorbing." —People "Readers ... are likely to find themselves chewing over the details of this superb and intricate tale long afterward." —The Wall Street Journal "Lovely and almost impossibly clever." —The Philadelphia Inquirer "It's easy to imagine readers studying Miranda's story as many times as she's read L'Engle's, and spending hours pondering the provocative questions it raises." —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

If He Had Been with Me

Laura Nowlin
If He Had Been with Me Book PDF

Author : Laura Nowlin
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
Page : 336 pages
File Size : 50,9 Mb
Release : 2013-04-02
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781402277849

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If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin Pdf

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

Daughter of Smoke & Bone

Laini Taylor
Daughter of Smoke Bone Book PDF

Author : Laini Taylor
Publisher : Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Page : 356 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 2011-09-27
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780316192149

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Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor Pdf

The first book in the New York Times bestselling epic fantasy trilogy by award-winning author Laini Taylor Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil's supply of human teeth grown dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real; she's prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands"; she speaks many languages--not all of them human; and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she's about to find out. When one of the strangers--beautiful, haunted Akiva--fixes his fire-colored eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

The Girl from Everywhere

Heidi Heilig
The Girl from Everywhere Book PDF

Author : Heidi Heilig
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 464 pages
File Size : 46,8 Mb
Release : 2016-02-16
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780062380777

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The Girl from Everywhere by Heidi Heilig Pdf

The Girl from Everywhere, the first of two books, blends fantasy, history, and a modern sensibility. Its sparkling wit, breathless adventure, multicultural cast, and enchanting romance will dazzle readers of Sabaa Tahir and Leigh Bardugo. As the daughter of a time traveler, Nix has spent sixteen years sweeping across the globe and through the centuries aboard her father’s ship. Modern-day New York City, nineteenth-century Hawaii, other lands seen only in myth and legend—Nix has been to them all. But when her father gambles with her very existence, it all may be about to end. Rae Carson meets Outlander in this epic debut fantasy. If there is a map, Nix’s father can sail his ship, The Temptation, to any place and any time. But now that he’s uncovered the one map he’s always sought—1868 Honolulu, the year before Nix’s mother died in childbirth—Nix’s life, her entire existence, is at stake. No one knows what will happen if her father changes the past. It could erase Nix’s future, her dreams, her adventures . . . her connection with the charming Persian thief, Kash, who’s been part of their crew for two years.

I Just Want to Pee Alone

Anonim
I Just Want to Pee Alone Book PDF

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Throat_punch Books
Page : 196 pages
File Size : 40,7 Mb
Release : 2013-02-27
Category : Child rearing
ISBN : 0988408031

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I Just Want to Pee Alone by Anonim Pdf

Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

Legendborn

Tracy Deonn
Legendborn Book PDF

Author : Tracy Deonn
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 544 pages
File Size : 54,5 Mb
Release : 2020-09-15
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9781534441620

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Legendborn by Tracy Deonn Pdf

An Instant New York Times Bestseller! Winner of the Coretta Scott King - John Steptoe for New Talent Author Award Filled with mystery and an intriguingly rich magic system, Tracy Deonn’s YA contemporary fantasy reinvents the King Arthur legend and “braids together Southern folk traditions and Black Girl Magic into a searing modern tale of grief, power, and self-discovery” (Dhonielle Clayton, New York Times bestselling author of The Belles). After her mother dies in an accident, sixteen-year-old Bree Matthews wants nothing to do with her family memories or childhood home. A residential program for bright high schoolers at UNC–Chapel Hill seems like the perfect escape—until Bree witnesses a magical attack her very first night on campus. A flying demon feeding on human energies. A secret society of so called “Legendborn” students that hunt the creatures down. And a mysterious teenage mage who calls himself a “Merlin” and who attempts—and fails—to wipe Bree’s memory of everything she saw. The mage’s failure unlocks Bree’s own unique magic and a buried memory with a hidden connection: the night her mother died, another Merlin was at the hospital. Now that Bree knows there’s more to her mother’s death than what’s on the police report, she’ll do whatever it takes to find out the truth, even if that means infiltrating the Legendborn as one of their initiates. She recruits Nick, a self-exiled Legendborn with his own grudge against the group, and their reluctant partnership pulls them deeper into the society’s secrets—and closer to each other. But when the Legendborn reveal themselves as the descendants of King Arthur’s knights and explain that a magical war is coming, Bree has to decide how far she’ll go for the truth and whether she should use her magic to take the society down—or join the fight.

Free the Darkness

Kel Kade
Free the Darkness Book PDF

Author : Kel Kade
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 422 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2021-07-06
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1952687012

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Free the Darkness by Kel Kade Pdf

Raised and trained in seclusion at a secret fortress on the edge of the northern wilds of the Kingdom of Ashai, a young warrior called Rezkin is unexpectedly thrust into the outworld when a terrible battle destroys all that he knows. With no understanding of his life's purpose and armed with masterful weapons mysteriously bestowed upon him by a dead king, Rezkin must travel across Ashai to find the one man who may hold the clues to his very existence.Determined to adhere to his last orders, Rezkin extends his protection to an unlikely assortment of individuals he meets along the way, often leading to humorous and poignant incidents.As if pursuing an elite warrior across a kingdom, figuring out who he is and why everyone he knows is dead, and attempting to find these so-called friends and protect them is not enough, strange things are happening in the kingdom. New dangers begin to arise that threaten not only Rezkin and his friends, but possibly everyone in Ashai.

Wellmania

Brigid Delaney
Wellmania Book PDF

Author : Brigid Delaney
Publisher : Greystone Books Ltd
Page : 210 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2018-03-13
Category : Health & Fitness
ISBN : 9781771643719

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Wellmania by Brigid Delaney Pdf

THE BOOK THAT INSPIRED THE HIT NETFLIX SERIES "I laughed so hard I choked on a donut reading this book."—Jen Mann, NYT-bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat Tired of late-night parties and all-day hangovers, thirty-something-year-old journalist Brigid Delaney decides to test the things that are supposed to make us healthy and whole, looking (with skepticism) to the trillion dollar wellness industry as her guide. She begins with a controversial and brutal 101-day fast, which leaves her glowing and "giddy," but also unemployed, bed-ridden, and strangely stinky. Next, she tries yoga classes, meditation, CBT, Balinese healing, silent retreats, group psychotherapy, and more, sorting through the fads and expensive hype to find out what works, while asking, "What does all this say about us?" With refreshing honesty and biting wit, Wellmania is an all too relatable book about the lengths we go to achieve optimal health—and whether it’s really worth it. As The Cut's Katey Heaney said: "Reading about all these impossible, expensive, scientifically unsupported self-improvement projects piled end on end, I wanted to shake Delaney, as I might shake myself, were I brave enough to tally all the money I've spent on green juice and witchy crap." According to comedian Judith Lucy, the result of Delaney's harrowing wellness journey is "a bloody entertaining read that leaves you wondering whether you want to do yoga or get mindlessly drunk and despair at the state of the world."

A Guide to Improvised Weaponry

Terry Schappert,Adam Slutsky
A Guide to Improvised Weaponry Book PDF

Author : Terry Schappert,Adam Slutsky
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 206 pages
File Size : 53,6 Mb
Release : 2015-03-06
Category : Sports & Recreation
ISBN : 9781440584732

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A Guide to Improvised Weaponry by Terry Schappert,Adam Slutsky Pdf

Defend yourself with salad tongs, hairbrushes--and even a dirty diaper! A sidewalk thief tries to steal your wallet, but you are unarmed. What do you do? With A Guide to Improvised Weaponry, you'll know how to protect yourself--even if all you have are your car keys and a candy bar. Written by Green Beret and combat expert Terry Schappert, this book teaches you how to turn your lipstick, your wristwatch--even the shoes on your feet--into strategic self-defense tools. Traditional weapons can be expensive, dangerous, and in the blur of an attack, easily turned against you, but with his life-saving advice, you can avoid these risks and defend yourself by deploying the hidden tactical uses of 100 ordinary items. Whether you're out grocery shopping, riding in an elevator, or enjoying a stroll through the park, A Guide to Improvised Weaponry shows you how to control your environment and become your own bodyguard--ready and able to act when you need to.

How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

James Breakwell
How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks Accidental Time Travel and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday Book PDF

Author : James Breakwell
Publisher : BenBella Books
Page : 175 pages
File Size : 51,9 Mb
Release : 2019-11-05
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781948836708

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How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday by James Breakwell Pdf

The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What's the proper first aid for my toddler's vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child's nap? Fortunately, there's now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more. Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell's latest book tackles more than 90 survival challenges ordinary parents might encounter in their everyday lives, including: • How to protect your child against tigers, penguins, mastodons, and other animals found in the suburbs. • How to defeat ghosts, gremlins, mummies, and any other supernatural force that might prevent you from getting your kid to bed on time. • How to survive crashing horses, trains, hot air balloons, and other vehicles you might find in the carpool lane. This is an essential guide for anyone who has children, might have children someday, or is vaguely aware children exist. Put this book down at your own—and your children's—risk.