Why Couples Fight

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Why Couples Fight

Mira Kirshenbaum
Why Couples Fight Book PDF

Author : Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher : Citadel Press
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 48,5 Mb
Release : 2021-01-26
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780806540450

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Why Couples Fight by Mira Kirshenbaum Pdf

How do two well-meaning people who genuinely care about each other end up in a damaged, unsatisfying relationship? Every couple faces conflict. Most of the time, the root of the problem is that we’re not getting our needs met. And most of the time, we first try to remedy this with reasonable requests—or hints—and a kind tone. But when that fails, we feel disempowered, which leads to sighs, eye rolls, silences, subtle put-downs, insults, and even threats. These are power moves. And while we often use them without realizing it and without intention, the result is the same—our partner feels disempowered and will try to re-empower themselves. And so the endless, and endlessly destructive, dynamic takes hold. Relationship expert Mira Kirshenbaum, bestselling author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, reveals a better way: a three-step method for conflict-free problem solving. By recognizing each partner’s power moves, we can instead find mutually satisfying ways to heal our hurts and meet each other’s needs. Non-judgmental, compassionate, and wise, this is an indispensable guide to help couples end the negative cycle and get back to the loving understanding that brought them together in the first place. “Mira Kirshenbaum’s words of wisdom are an inspiration to everyone who reads them.” —Deepak Chopra

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Mira Kirshenbaum
Too Good to Leave Too Bad to Stay Book PDF

Author : Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 305 pages
File Size : 55,8 Mb
Release : 1997-07-01
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 9781101128367

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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum Pdf

There are many books that promise to help you fix a bad relationship. This groundbreaking bestseller is the first one to help you choose whether you should even try—or if you need to go. Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems: • What sins are forgivable and which ones are unpardonable? • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself? • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it? • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable? Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

What Makes Love Last?

John Gottman,Nan Silver
What Makes Love Last Book PDF

Author : John Gottman,Nan Silver
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 54,9 Mb
Release : 2013-09-10
Category : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
ISBN : 9781451608489

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What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman,Nan Silver Pdf

"One of the foremost relationship experts at work today applies the insights of science toward understanding the real meaning of trust between a couple. He decodes the "why" behind betrayal and shows how partners can avoid or recover from unfaithfulness and maintain a loving relationship.Dr. John Gottman, the country's pre-eminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous major awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. A Love You Can Trust shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of--"sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. A Love You Can Trust guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will let them repair and maintain a long-term, intimate, and romantic relationship"--

Magnetic Partners

Stephen Betchen
Magnetic Partners Book PDF

Author : Stephen Betchen
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2010-05-18
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 1439109540

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Magnetic Partners by Stephen Betchen Pdf

Do you and your partner argue about the same things over and over again? Are you often confused about why your partner is so angry with you? Are things getting worse and worse even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to make them better? In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples’ therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their lives—an unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing up—which he calls a "master conflict." The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apart—many of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both. From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflicts—such as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivity—and for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to: • Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems • Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner • Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart • Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partners is an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience. Partners

Everybody Fights

Kim Holderness,Penn Holderness
Everybody Fights Book PDF

Author : Kim Holderness,Penn Holderness
Publisher : Thomas Nelson
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 46,7 Mb
Release : 2021-03-30
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780785235743

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Everybody Fights by Kim Holderness,Penn Holderness Pdf

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller! Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood. We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it? For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom? With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to: Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolution Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delay Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!

I Love You But I Don't Trust You

Mira Kirshenbaum
I Love You But I Don t Trust You Book PDF

Author : Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 305 pages
File Size : 46,6 Mb
Release : 2012-02-07
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781101560044

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I Love You But I Don't Trust You by Mira Kirshenbaum Pdf

A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple’s therapist. Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.

Stop the Fight!: An Illustrated Guide for Couples: How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts

Michelle Brody
Stop the Fight An Illustrated Guide for Couples How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts Book PDF

Author : Michelle Brody
Publisher : The Experiment, LLC
Page : 330 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2015-10-27
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781615192816

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Stop the Fight!: An Illustrated Guide for Couples: How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts by Michelle Brody Pdf

This Illustrated Guide for Couples Ends 12 Hurtful Arguments Once and for All! Conflict within relationships is complex and challenging to overcome. In her 20 years of working with couples, clinical psychologist Michelle Brody found a way to make change simpler. Her secret: clear and lighthearted illustrations that help couples literally see what’s driving their battles and blocking their bond, so they can chart a course together to stop the fights. The Money Fight “You’re such a cheapskate!” “You spend way too much!” The Sex Fight “Not tonight. I’m not in the mood.” “You haven’t been in the mood since 1975!” The Parenting Differences Fight “You’re too overprotective!” “Is skydiving next?!” Stop the Fight! includes more than 300 illustrations to help couples unlock the destructive cycles that drive the birthday fight, the difficult relatives fight, and other familiar battles. Going beyond common relationship advice, the tools in Stop the Fight! will help you understand the big picture and create lifelong change.

The Good Fight

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
The Good Fight Book PDF

Author : Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Publisher : Worthy Books
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 42,8 Mb
Release : 2013-04-01
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9781617951787

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The Good Fight by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott Pdf

NYT best-selling authors Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott reveal new techniques based on extensive research that help couples manage conflict constructively - that's the "good fight."

When Good People Have Affairs

Mira Kirshenbaum
When Good People Have Affairs Book PDF

Author : Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 226 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2008-05-27
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781429944700

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When Good People Have Affairs by Mira Kirshenbaum Pdf

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs

Gina Senarighi PhD, CPC
Love More Fight Less Communication Skills Every Couple Needs Book PDF

Author : Gina Senarighi PhD, CPC
Publisher : Zeitgeist
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 49,6 Mb
Release : 2020-07-28
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780593196656

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Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs by Gina Senarighi PhD, CPC Pdf

Learn to communicate effectively, meaningfully, and lovingly with your partner--even in tense situations. Conflict is part of every relationship, even the healthiest ones. The key to a long-lasting relationship isn't avoiding fights, but rather seeing them as opportunities to work together. In her book, Gottman-certified relationship coach Dr. Gina Senarighi gives us the tools and strategies we need to communicate effectively, rebuild trust, and repair past hurts. Love More, Fight Less features: 30 COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND ACTIVITIES for building self-awareness, identifying and interrupting emotional reactivity, eliminating judgment, separating thoughts from feelings, and more 29 COMMON PITFALLS IN RELATIONSHIPS around issues of intimacy, career, finances, family and home matters, and friendships with other people--and how to navigate them STEP-BY-STEP GUIDANCE AND EXPERT INSIGHT to help you transform your relationship's conflict patterns by integrating effective communication skills This relationship workbook is for couples who want to learn new skills and build a solid foundation for working through conflicts and moving forward in ways that strengthen their bonds.

Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage

Greg Smalley
Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage Book PDF

Author : Greg Smalley
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 44,5 Mb
Release : 2013-07-02
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781451669190

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Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage by Greg Smalley Pdf

In this counter intuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. Couples will learn how to fight their way to a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, and exercises shared in this remarkable book.

Why Does He Do That?

Lundy Bancroft
Why Does He Do That Book PDF

Author : Lundy Bancroft
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 436 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2003-09-02
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 0425191656

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Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Pdf

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

The Heart of the Fight

Judith Wright,Bob Wright
The Heart of the Fight Book PDF

Author : Judith Wright,Bob Wright
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
Page : 216 pages
File Size : 55,6 Mb
Release : 2016-02-02
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781626252592

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The Heart of the Fight by Judith Wright,Bob Wright Pdf

Every couple fights—it’s how you fight that can determine the success of your relationship. This book teaches you to look beyond what you and your partner fight about, and discover the core issues that undermine your relationship. In the midst of a disagreement, many couples ask themselves, “What are we really fighting about?” Sound familiar? As it turns out, breakups and divorce don’t happen because couples fight, they happen because of how couples fight. In this much-needed book, Judith and Bob Wright—two married counselors and coaches with over thirty years of experience helping couples learn how to fight well—present their tried-and-true methods for exploring the emotions that underlie many relationship fights. In this unique guide, you’ll learn how to use disagreements as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of your partner, bring more intimacy to the relationship, strengthen your bond, and really learn from the conflicts and tensions that occur between you. You’ll also learn how to navigate the fifteen most common fights couples have, including “the blame game,” “dueling over dollars,” “If you really loved me, you’d…,” “told-you-so’s,” and more. If you’re ready to start fighting for your love, rather than against it, this book will show you how.

Stronger Than You Think

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
Stronger Than You Think Book PDF

Author : Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2021-02-09
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780316454704

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Stronger Than You Think by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Pdf

Discover the ten myths sabotaging your love life, and the practical, science-backed tools you can use to reveal your relationship’s hidden strengths and build a fulfilling, long-lasting bond. Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. is a nationally recognized expert on the psychology of relationships. In his first book, he blends hot-off-the-press science, engaging writing, impactful examples, and fascinating stories to present an impressive range of refreshing and eye-opening set of insights. For instance, did you know that . . . To forecast your relationship's future, you are the worst person to ask. Men are the real romantics in heterosexual relationships, not women. The amount of sex you should have to keep your relationship going strong is lower than you think. It's okay to be selfish. Putting me before you, can help both of you. When it comes to closeness, you can have too much of a good thing. Struggles actually strengthen your relationship. In terms of partner support, what you’re not seeing is more important than what you notice. When your relationship doesn't help you become a better person, ending it does. A bold, fresh take on what it means to love and be loved, Stronger Than You Think will help you more confidently and accurately view yourself and your relationship—so that you can fully appreciate the love you have, or find the one you want and deserve.

No More Fighting

Alicia Muñoz
No More Fighting Book PDF

Author : Alicia Muñoz
Publisher : Zephyros Press
Page : 286 pages
File Size : 43,8 Mb
Release : 2018-12-04
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 1641521821

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No More Fighting by Alicia Muñoz Pdf

All couples fight―but a little guidance goes a long way to tackling the issues that trigger fights in the first place. No More Fighting offers couples fast and effective strategies to overcome common relationship problems and build lasting love together. In just 20 minutes per week, couples will learn how to effectively speak and listen to each other as they confront critical relationship issues. From reconciling different values to navigating intimacy issues and everything in between, No More Fighting gives you the skills you need to fight less and love each other more. --