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They Shoot Canoes, Don't They? by Patrick F. McManus Pdf
With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”—Library Journal
Patrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.
Presents a collection of curmudgeonly tales on Pacific Northwest country living as enjoyed by both outdoorsmen and armchair enthusiasts, in a volume that explores the lighter side of such topics as gun safes, fly tying, and bird dog flatulence.
Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures by Patrick F. McManus Pdf
America's best-selling outdoor humorist for adults has a secret following: middle-grade and young-adult readers. Never Cry "Arp!" is a lively collection of twelve stories about young Pat's misadventures in the Great American Wilderness. All the McManus regulars are here: Crazy Eddie Muldoon, the best friend everybody wishes they had (and everybody's mother wishes they didn't); Rancid Crabtree, the good-hearted, if gamey, woodsman; Pat's skunk dog, Strange, who lives up to his name; and Pat's pal, Retch Sweeney, who does, too. This is a book for kids who love to start fishing at 4am (at least they say they do) or for those who prefer to experience the mighty outdoors in the safety of their homes. "Everybody should read Patrick McManus," said the New York Times. Now, everybody can.
More humorous observations and insights into the agonies and ecstacies of hunting, fishing, and camping by the author of They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?and other celebrations of life in the wild.
If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? by Bill Heavey Pdf
A hilarious collection of essays dedicated to life in the great outdoors from Field & Stream’s acclaimed Sportsman’s Life columnist. For nearly a decade, Bill Heavey, an outdoorsman marooned in suburbia, has written the Sportsman’s Life column on the back page of Field & Stream, where he does for hunting and fishing what David Feherty does for golf and Lewis Grizzard did for the South. If You Didn’t Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? is the first collection of Heavey’s sidesplitting observations on life as a hardcore (but often hapless) outdoorsman. Whether he’s hunting cougars in the desert, scheming to make his five-year-old daughter love fishing, or chronicling his father’s life through a succession of canine companions, Heavey brings his trademark wit to a wide-range of outdoor enthusiasms, running the gamut from elite expeditions to ordinary occupations. In turns hysterical and poignant, entertaining and educational, this is an irresistible addition to the collection of any avid outdoorsman—or any suburbanite intrigued by the call of the wild.
The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories by Patrick F. McManus Pdf
The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories is a hilarious addition to Patrick F. McManus’s existing work in humor. The author weighs in on his childhood, everyday life, and outdoor tales with his typical exaggerated commentary that will elicit a belly laugh from all types of readers. Read about the antics of Patrick’s friends Rancid Crabtree and Retch Sweeney in such stories as “Shaping Up for the Hunt” and “Bear Hunters.” McManus plays off the recent obsession with hoarders in his surprising story “The Lady Who Kept Things.” In the titular story, meet Patrick’s horse, Huckleberry, and enjoy the experience of all the problems that come along with owning your own horse—or keeping him in the garage. Other great stories include: “Catch-And-Eaters,” about the importance of a forked stick when fishing “$7000 TV Historical Extravaganza,” a look at one director’s loose interpretation of historical accuracy and political correctness “A Lake Too Far,” concerning the woes of Patrick and his wife, Bun, on a fateful birding trip in Australia “Chicken Chronicles,” which involves Patrick’s memory of wandering around naked in the chicken yard when guests came to call So pull up a chair, sit back, and enjoy laughing to the hilarious adventures of Patrick F. McManus in The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories.
Patrick F. McManus, the “funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field & Stream gang...offers another bag of whimsy in the Great Outdoors”* with The Grasshopper Trap. In this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus. “It’s enough to tickle the most rabid member of the National Rifle Association.”—*Kirkus Reviews
The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw by Patrick F. McManus Pdf
America’s “most gifted outdoor humorist” (Detroit Free Press) regales readers with this collection of gut-busting, man vs. nature tales originally published in such magazines as Field & Stream and Outdoor Living. Patrick F. McManus’s hilarious and comic stories of camping and other nature-oriented activities reach ridiculous proportions in The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw. From teaching his stepfather the methods of madness behind farm work through his best friend’s grandmother’s fear of bears, McManus reveals that human behavior is even wilder than the wilderness.
A Fine and Pleasant Misery by Patrick F. McManus Pdf
“A hilarious compilation” (Los Angeles Times), A Fine and Pleasant Misery gathers twenty-seven witty, cautionary tales of the outdoor life from beloved humorist Patrick F. McManus in a collection edited and introduced by Jack Samson, long-time editor-in-chief of Field & Stream. The great outdoors have never been rendered as hysterically as in the reminiscences—true and exaggerated—of Patrick F. McManus. If you’re thinking about getting back to nature, the surreal adventures chronicled here will make you think twice about giving it all up for a life of camping, hiking, and hunting.
The beloved humorist and bestselling author returns with his most riotous collection of essays to date. Overflowing with his trademark outdoorsman's wit, Patrick F. McManus's newest collection ponders the strange allure of the RV, the existential implications of being lost, the baffling tendency of animals to outsmart those who wish to hunt them, and the singular pleasure of doubling the size of every fish one doesn't actually catch. Combining the curmudgeonly voice of Dave Barry and the sly humor of Garrison Keillor, McManus brilliantly captures the everyday absurdities that comprise our existence. Alongside his humor, McManus's inimitable vision consistently evokes a childlike wonder at the natural world. Even if we are running low on food, the compass is broken, and we are fairly certain we have just spotted a family of Sasquatches frolicking in the treetops, The Bear in the Attic makes the outdoors seem irresistible.
A new series by the author of The Bear in the Attic finds Idaho sheriff Bo Tully's hopes about a rekindled romance with his high-school sweetheart challenged by his father's upcoming seventy-fifth birthday celebration and a ranch murder involving numerous possible suspects. Reprint. 25,000 first printing.
From the Laws of Mount Misery: There are no laws in psychiatry. Now, from the author of the riotous, moving, bestselling classic, The House of God, comes a lacerating and brilliant novel of doctors and patients in a psychiatric hospital. Mount Misery is a prestigious facility set in the rolling green hills of New England, its country club atmosphere maintained by generous corporate contributions. Dr. Roy Basch (hero of The House of God) is lucky enough to train there *only to discover doctors caught up in the circus of competing psychiatric theories, and patients who are often there for one main reason: they've got good insurance. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Your colleagues will hurt you more than your patients. On rounds at Mount Misery, it's not always easy for Basch to tell the patients from the doctors: Errol Cabot, the drug cowboy whose practice provides him with guinea pigs for his imaginative prescription cocktails . . . Blair Heiler, the world expert on borderlines (a diagnosis that applies to just about everybody) . . . A. K. Lowell, née Aliyah K. Lowenschteiner, whose Freudian analytic technique is so razor sharp it prohibits her from actually speaking to patients . . . And Schlomo Dove, the loony, outlandish shrink accused of having sex with a beautiful, well-to-do female patient. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Psychiatrists specialize in their defects. For Basch the practice of psychiatry soon becomes a nightmare in which psychiatrists compete with one another to find the best ways to reduce human beings to blubbering drug-addled pods, or incite them to an extreme where excessive rage is the only rational response, or tie them up in Freudian knots. And all the while, the doctors seem less interested in their patients' mental health than in a host of other things *managed care insurance money, drug company research grants and kickbacks, and their own professional advancement. From the Laws of Mount Misery: In psychiatry, first comes treatment, then comes diagnosis. What The House of God did for doctoring the body, Mount Misery does for doctoring the mind. A practicing psychiatrist, Samuel Shem brings vivid authenticity and extraordinary storytelling gifts to this long-awaited sequel, to create a novel that is laugh-out-loud hilarious, terrifying, and provocative. Filled with biting irony and a wonderful sense of the absurd, Mount Misery tells you everything you'll never learn in therapy. And it's a hell of a lot funnier.
From the depths of a valley rises the city of Mahala It's a city built upwards, not across -- where streets are built upon streets, buildings upon buildings. A city that the Ministry rules from the sunlit summit, and where the forsaken lurk in the darkness of Under. Rojan Dizon doesn't mind staying in the shadows, because he's got things to hide. Things like being a pain-mage, with the forbidden power to draw magic from pain. But he can't hide for ever. Because when Rojan stumbles upon the secrets lurking in the depths of the Pit, the fate of Mahala will depend on him using his magic. And unlucky for Rojan -- this is going to hurt.