Crazy Sh T Old People Say

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Crazy Sh*t Old People Say

Geoff Tibballs
Crazy Sh t Old People Say Book PDF

Author : Geoff Tibballs
Publisher : Robinson
Page : 160 pages
File Size : 44,8 Mb
Release : 2011-05-26
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781849019224

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Crazy Sh*t Old People Say by Geoff Tibballs Pdf

With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.

On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down

James Fell
On This Day in History Sh t Went Down Book PDF

Author : James Fell
Publisher : Bantam
Page : 433 pages
File Size : 41,8 Mb
Release : 2023-10-10
Category : History
ISBN : 9780593724088

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On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down by James Fell Pdf

The hilarious, irreverent guide to world history you never knew you needed, featuring 366 profanity-filled tales of triumph and terror, science and stupidity, courage and cowardice Those who cannot remember the past . . . need a history teacher who says “f*ck” a lot. Nazis are bad. The worst kind of bad. There are no very fine people among them. If you disagree, you won’t like this book. Still here? Cool. You are about to receive an education unlike any you’ve previously experienced. In this uproarious and informative tour from ancient times to the modern day and everything in between, James Fell, the self-proclaimed “sweary historian,” reveals a past replete with deeds both noble and despicable. Throughout the book, he provides insightful analysis of all the sh!t that went down. Behold! • In 1927, actress Mae West was sent to jail for “corrupting the morals of youth” with her first Broadway play, titled Sex. She served the time and followed up with a play about homosexuality. • In 1419, church reformers in Prague, vexed over their leader having been burned at the stake, defenestrated city leaders from a high window. They died, because those kinds of Czechs don’t bounce. • If you were in the province of Shaanxi in China on January 23, 1556, then it sucked to be you. It wasn’t the biggest earthquake ever, but it was the deadliest day in history. • In 362 B.C.E., a battle between Greek city states debilitated both sides, making the region ripe for conquering by Phillip of Macedon—aka Alex the Great’s dad—and spelling the end of Greek democracy. • In 1343, the husband of noblewoman Jeanne de Clisson was unjustly executed by the king of France. Furious, Jeanne became a pirate, selling all her possessions to fund a fleet and exact revenge. • During World War II, three Dutch teens used their beauty to lure Nazis into the forest with the promise of a good time, then out came the guns and BLAM! They sent them off to Nazi hell. If reading history doesn’t make you want to swear like a mom with a red-wine hangover walking barefoot through a LEGO-filled living room, then you’re not reading the right history. Across the ages, over 100 billion humans have lived and died. Some were motivated by greed, others by generosity. Many dedicated themselves to the art of killing, while others were focused on curing. There have been grave mistakes, and moments of greatness. And that is why . . . sh!t happens. Every day.

The Badge, The Balls and The Bull Sh-t

Henry (Hank) J. Silva
The Badge The Balls and The Bull Sh t Book PDF

Author : Henry (Hank) J. Silva
Publisher : Dorrance Publishing
Page : 238 pages
File Size : 51,5 Mb
Release : 2017-12-11
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781480943469

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The Badge, The Balls and The Bull Sh-t by Henry (Hank) J. Silva Pdf

The Badge, The Balls, and The Bull Sh-t By: Henry (Hank) J. Silva Detective Bobby Olivarez and his partner, Detective Brent Olson, are the lead detectives in several investigations that include murder, extortion and corruption. They involve punk thieves, Mexican cartels and terrorists from the Middle East with a grand plan to take over the island of Hawaii. These detectives are former military, can outshoot most, can bench press four hundred plus pounds and have the will to never lose. They are innovative, clever and deadly. You certainly would want them on your side.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2

Dawn Dais
The Sh t No One Tells You About Baby 2 Book PDF

Author : Dawn Dais
Publisher : Seal Press
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 42,5 Mb
Release : 2016-10-25
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781580056328

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The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 by Dawn Dais Pdf

The third book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series covers all a parent needs to know once the reality of having two children settles in. Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."

Sh#t Your Ego Says

James McCrae
Sh t Your Ego Says Book PDF

Author : James McCrae
Publisher : Hay House, Inc
Page : 209 pages
File Size : 44,9 Mb
Release : 2017-02-21
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9781401951191

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Sh#t Your Ego Says by James McCrae Pdf

“Don’t read this book,” your Ego says. “Your life could change. And that scares me.” Sometimes our worst failures lead to our greatest transformation. In 2012, James McCrae left behind a comfortable life in Minnesota and a successful career in advertising to move to New York City and pursue his dreams of being a writer. Soon after he arrived, Hurricane Sandy ripped through the eastern seaboard. New York City was underwater, and James —jobless and running out of money—was suddenly homeless. Fleeing to the island of Culebra for refuge, James sat alone on Flamenco Beach while his greatest doubts and insecurities rose to the surface. What he discovered was his Ego—and it had a lot of sh#t to say. This story of adventure, redemption, and transformation reminds us that we all have two voices inside us: the Ego and the Higher Self. The Ego is our reactive, attached mind that tells us we’re victims of circumstance. The Higher Self is our source of intuition and imagination that reminds us we’re the creators of our reality. Sh#t Your Ego Says exposes the battle between these voices. With arresting honesty and candid, compelling prose, James takes you through practical strategies for overthrowing your Ego and reclaiming a life of creativity and freedom. Whether you’re looking to achieve meaningful career success, improve your relationships, or unlock your imagination, this book provides a no-nonsense roadmap to living with purpose.

The Holy Sh!t Moment

James Fell
The Holy Sh t Moment Book PDF

Author : James Fell
Publisher : Macmillan + ORM
Page : 190 pages
File Size : 41,9 Mb
Release : 2019-01-22
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9781250186300

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The Holy Sh!t Moment by James Fell Pdf

Motivation expert James Fell teaches readers how to skip the hard part and go directly from intention to committed action. After years of helping people change, James Fell had a sudden insight about sudden insight: significant life change doesn’t often come from just putting one foot in front of the other, carefully observing and altering habits, slogging through baby steps toward new behavior. Rather, the research reveals that serious life turnaround usually happens in a moment, with a flash of inspiration. Epiphany arrives like a lightning strike, rapidly shifting the recipient of such enlightenment onto a new path that creates a better life. Motivational psychology has traditionally focused on slow and steady—gradual improvement over time to reach a desired goal, whether it’s weight loss, career change, battling addiction, or success in relationships. We’ve been told since toddlerhood that the tortoise beats the hare. But, through compelling science and powerful stories, James Fell shows us that the hare has the edge; overwhelming desire can be awakened fast and furiously. When you learn to become attuned to that sensation of sudden awakening, a new path can be followed almost effortlessly, because it feels like destiny. Everyone has the ability to experience the lightning strike. The Holy Sh!t Moment will teach you how to create a life-changing epiphany and go directly from intention to action.

The Art of Making Sh!t Up

Norm Laviolette
The Art of Making Sh t Up Book PDF

Author : Norm Laviolette
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
Page : 192 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 2019-05-07
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 9781119558217

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The Art of Making Sh!t Up by Norm Laviolette Pdf

Work together to up your chances of business success The Art of Making Sh!t Up combines the lessons learned from a personal journey with the teachings derived from years of honing valuable skills through performing and presenting to thousands of people to demonstrate how working together has helped others found and grow several multimillion-dollar companies. By focusing on topics that serve as pain points and detailing the tools and techniques of improv, this book helps people and organizations utilize new skill sets to be more productive, more accepting, and more "all in" to create a stronger teammate and team. Remove the fear of failure Recognize when and how to trust your instincts Celebrate and embrace the ideas of others Listen effectively—to both people and your environment Thinking is hard. Listening is easy—and is most often the springboard to huge ideas. Find out how it can work for you with The Art of Making Sh!t Up.

The Sh!t No One Tells You

Dawn Dais
The Sh t No One Tells You Book PDF

Author : Dawn Dais
Publisher : Seal Press
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 2021-11-09
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781541620773

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The Sh!t No One Tells You by Dawn Dais Pdf

"Dawn Dais bravely goes where other baby books don't.... She spills the truth about everything from breastfeeding to getting along with your partner post-baby." — Parents Magazine There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she realizes that all the pregnancy well-wishes and baby shower gifts left her profoundly unqualified for the realities of life with a newborn. Who knew there would be so much crying—and how much of that crying would be coming from the mom? Bestselling author Dawn Dais believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the truth about parenting from expectant mothers for fear that if the truth got out, women would (1) stop having babies or (2) stop bringing them home. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms—along with hilarious anecdotes, tips, and the encouragement every new mom needs to survive the first year of parenthood. Revised and updated with new chapters offering advice for single moms and tips for partners,The Sh!t No One Tells You is a must-have companion for every new mother’s sleepless nights and poop-filled days.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce

Dawn Dais
The Sh t No One Tells You About Divorce Book PDF

Author : Dawn Dais
Publisher : Hachette Go
Page : 218 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 2023-01-10
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780306828553

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The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce by Dawn Dais Pdf

A bestselling author offers a refreshingly honest, compassionate guide to the sh!tstorm that is divorce: falling apart, staying afloat, and new beginnings (whether you are ready for them or not). After 12 years together, 2 children, 10 pets, and 5 properties, Dawn and her partner decided to call it quits. In the newest installment of her bestselling Sh!t No One Tells You series, Dawn tries to figure out what happened… and what happens next. Dawn takes you on her own bumpy, meandering, and often absurd journey through the destruction of a life exploded by divorce. She dodges legal hurdles, irrational decisions, alarmed therapists, random hobbies, and a concerning number of dating app profiles that look like the beginning of a true crime podcast. But somehow, she found herself stronger—and happier—on the other side. Leaning into the mess, Dawn helps you learn the art of embracing Netflix and cry, the healing power of profanity, the importance of assembling the right support squad, how to survive the sh!tshow of co-parenting, and much more. Joined by an insightful chorus of divorced friends, Dawn delivers a true-to-life and funnier-than-it-should-be guide to discovering the unexpected value in the wreckage. What if divorce isn’t just a loss—but an opportunity?

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers

Dawn Dais
The Sh t No One Tells You About Toddlers Book PDF

Author : Dawn Dais
Publisher : Seal Press
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 41,7 Mb
Release : 2015-09-15
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781580055901

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The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers by Dawn Dais Pdf

They’re getting bigger. And you’re not getting any more sleep. Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge. Chapters include: You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination. Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult. Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch. Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor. Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick. This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones. Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices. Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”

Shit for Old People to Color

Opps I. Pooped My Pants Coloring Books
Shit for Old People to Color Book PDF

Author : Opps I. Pooped My Pants Coloring Books
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 30 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 2020-04-30
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798642303580

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Shit for Old People to Color by Opps I. Pooped My Pants Coloring Books Pdf

Who Knew I'd Get Old And Need To Laugh From Coloring About True Facts About Getting Old. Im Sick And Tired Of Doctor Visits And Doing Shit I Just Dont Wanna Do So Im Just Gonna Say Fuck It And Color My Old Ass Away Until My Diaper Needs Changed Again.

Ask a Manager

Alison Green
Ask a Manager Book PDF

Author : Alison Green
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Page : 306 pages
File Size : 55,8 Mb
Release : 2018-05-01
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 9780399181818

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Ask a Manager by Alison Green Pdf

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

If Only Regrets Were a Good Thing

C.L. Thompson
If Only Regrets Were a Good Thing Book PDF

Author : C.L. Thompson
Publisher : AuthorHouse
Page : 194 pages
File Size : 47,6 Mb
Release : 2011-04
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781456761608

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If Only Regrets Were a Good Thing by C.L. Thompson Pdf

The main character of the story begins her story at age three and goes to the present day. She has lived through, devastation, molestation, brutality, but applys humor to most of her greif, misery, tradgedy, hopelesness, perversion. Faith and Hope are the end result. All of the experiences in the Book are true as she remembers.The Book offers hope, for someone who might think life is to harsh or has been hopeless. She goes through many stages of her life and adds a flash of humor all through the Book and remains an optomist to the end, with a few detours in between!

The Secret

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret Book PDF

Author : Rhonda Byrne
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 224 pages
File Size : 43,7 Mb
Release : 2011-07-07
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
ISBN : 9780731815296

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The Secret by Rhonda Byrne Pdf

The tenth-anniversary edition of the book that changed lives in profound ways, now with a new foreword and afterword. In 2006, a groundbreaking feature-length film revealed the great mystery of the universe—The Secret—and, later that year, Rhonda Byrne followed with a book that became a worldwide bestseller. Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it. In this book, you’ll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life—money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You’ll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that’s within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life. The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers—men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Dawn Dais
The Sh t No One Tells You About Pregnancy Book PDF

Author : Dawn Dais
Publisher : Seal Press
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 48,8 Mb
Release : 2017-11-07
Category : Health & Fitness
ISBN : 9781580056342

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The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy by Dawn Dais Pdf

The fourth book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series offers "been there, freaked out about that" advice for expectant parents The fourth title in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is quite possibly the funniest, and most heartfelt, yet. After all, pregnancy is not all about scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies, and sometimes the less flattering aspects of gestation have a way of dimming a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow. Not to worry! Dawn is here, ready to shepherd you through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It ain't always pretty.) Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.