Letters From A Nut

Author : Ted L Nancy
Publisher : Random House
Page : 194 pages
File Size : 41,8 Mb
Release : 2011-10-31
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781446491508

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Letters From A Nut by Ted L Nancy Pdf

Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city... I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."... Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Bantam
Page : 871 pages
File Size : 52,9 Mb
Release : 2013-07-31
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780804149808

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More Letters from a Nut by Ted L. Nancy Pdf

Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Crown Archetype
Page : 258 pages
File Size : 51,9 Mb
Release : 2010-09-07
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780307716293

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All New Letters from a Nut by Ted L. Nancy Pdf

He's back: the curse of customer service departments everywhere--Ted L. Nancy, letter writer extraordinaire whose imbecilic queries have a way of eliciting equally idiotic answers from some of the world’s biggest companies and dignitaries. From the bestselling author of Letters from a Nut comes the latest collection of seemingly serious but crazed correspondence. All New Letters from a Nut includes more than 200 letters, from bizarre to outright loony requests and compliments written by Mr. Nancy to Icelandic malls, German theme parks, shoe museums, foreign presidents, commode companies, waffle cone businesses, and the Hotel Del Fino in Greece along with their equally sincere but hilarious responses. With his previous books, Ted L. Nancy distinguished himself as America's favorite postal humorist. This latest compilation highlights his comic status through letters to an upscale Amsterdam hotel requesting a room for his 300 hamsters and him to put on his play HAMSTERDAM; to Vons Supermarkets complaining that their Diet Black Cherry soda is sending him paranormal messages; to Armour Meats seeking a 59-foot piece of bologna and a note to the City of Glendale, California, asking for help in starting his new comedy club, THE JOKESTRAP; and many more…. Throughout Ted L. Nancy demonstrates his genius for convincing people his absurd queries are dead serious, demonstrated by the responses he receives. All New Letters From a Nut is unabashedly silly, unapologetically sophomoric, and 100% funny. With a foreword by Jerry Seinfeld

Author : Ted Nancy
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 244 pages
File Size : 42,9 Mb
Release : 2000-06-14
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0312261551

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Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut! by Ted Nancy Pdf

Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Author : Ed Broth
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2005-01-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781429918152

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Stories from a Moron by Ed Broth Pdf

"Sorry, there's no way we can use this." - Plumpers Magazine "As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to be familiar with the publications they submit material to." - Fencers Quarterly Magazine Ed writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so: "Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry..." "Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you..." "Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing." "Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'..." "Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..." With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands. Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.

Author : John Homans
Publisher : Bancroft Press
Page : 445 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 1997-06-25
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781890862992

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Wilber Winkle Has a Complaint! by John Homans Pdf

Is Wilber Winkle a consumer advocate extraordinaire or just a nut with too much time on his hands? Whatever the verdict, this hilarious collection of complaint letters to American corporations and their responses are a laugh-aloud page-turner. Readers everywhere will recognize the beefs that Wilber strives to get to the bottom of: Denny's waitresses disturbing the delicate balance of cream and sugar in their coffee, the disappearance of the almond from the 5th Avenue candy bar, and insulting automotive technicians at Jiffy Lube. After studying Wilber's letter-writing campaigns, readers will learn how to complain the Wilber Winkle Way and translate customer service-ese. An unflinchingly funny look into the world of customer service and one consumer who will not stand for life's little inconveniences.

Author : Paul Krassner
Publisher : Catapult
Page : 417 pages
File Size : 43,7 Mb
Release : 2012-09-11
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781593765033

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Confessions of a Raving, Unconfined Nut by Paul Krassner Pdf

Uncensored, uncontained, and thoroughly demented, the memoirs of Paul Krassner are back in an updated and expanded edition. Paul Krassner, “father of the underground press” (People magazine), founder of the Realist, political radical, Yippie, and award-winning stand-up satirist, shares his stark raving adventures with the likes of Lenny Bruce, Abbie Hoffman, Norman Mailer, Ken Kesey, Groucho Marx, and Squeaky Fromme, revealing the patriarch of counterculture’s ultimate, intimate, uproarious life on the fringes of society. Whether he’s writing about his friendship with controversial comic Lenny Bruce, introducing Groucho Marx to LSD, his investigation of Scientology, or John Kennedy’s cadaver, no subject is too sacred to be skewered by Krassner. And yet his stories are soulful and philosophical, always authentic to his iconoclastic brand of personal journalism. As Art Spiegelman said, “Krassner is one of the best minds of his generational to be destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked—but mainly hysterical. His true wacky, wackily true autobiography is the definitive book on the sixties.”

Author : Ted L. Nancy
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 44,8 Mb
Release : 2008
Category : American wit and humor
ISBN : 0980059216

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Hello Junk Mail! by Ted L. Nancy Pdf

Humour.

Author : Shirley Jackson
Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks
Page : 673 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2022-07-19
Category : Literary Collections
ISBN : 9780593134658

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The Letters of Shirley Jackson by Shirley Jackson Pdf

A bewitchingly brilliant collection of never-before-published letters from the renowned author of “The Lottery” and The Haunting of Hill House NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY KIRKUS REVIEWS • “This biography-through-letters gives an intimate and warm voice to the imagination behind the treasury of uncanny tales that is Shirley Jackson’s legacy.”—Joyce Carol Oates Shirley Jackson is one of the most important American authors of the last hundred years and among our greatest chroniclers of the female experience. This extraordinary compilation of personal correspondence has all the hallmarks of Jackson’s beloved fiction: flashes of the uncanny in the domestic, sparks of horror in the quotidian, and the veins of humor that run through good times and bad. i am having a fine time doing a novel with my left hand and a long story—with as many levels as grand central station—with my right hand, stirring chocolate pudding with a spoon held in my teeth, and tuning the television with both feet. Written over the course of nearly three decades, from Jackson’s college years to six days before her early death at the age of forty-eight, these letters become the autobiography Shirley Jackson never wrote. As well as being a bestselling author, Jackson spent much of her adult life as a mother of four in Vermont, and the landscape here is often the everyday: raucous holidays and trips to the dentist, overdue taxes and frayed lines of Christmas lights, new dogs and new babies. But in recounting these events to family, friends, and colleagues, she turns them into remarkable stories: entertaining, revealing, and wise. At the same time, many of these letters provide fresh insight into the genesis and progress of Jackson’s writing over nearly three decades. The novel is getting sadder. It’s always such a strange feeling—I know something’s going to happen, and those poor people in the book don’t; they just go blithely on their ways. Compiled and edited by her elder son, Laurence Jackson Hyman, in consultation with Jackson scholar Bernice M. Murphy and featuring Jackson’s own witty line drawings, this intimate collection holds the beguiling prism of Shirley Jackson—writer and reader, mother and daughter, neighbor and wife—up to the light.

Author : Paul Rosa
Publisher : Main Street Books
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 50,6 Mb
Release : 1995
Category : Complaint letters
ISBN : 038547508X

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Idiot Letters by Paul Rosa Pdf

Look out, public relations; take cover, customer service -- Paul Rosa's letter is in the mail and his inventively imbecilic queries about consumer products have a way of eliciting equally idiotic and even more unlikely answers from some of America's biggest companies.

Author : Don Novello
Publisher : Workman Publishing
Page : 168 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 1992-01-07
Category : History
ISBN : UOM:39015062574523

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The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello Pdf

Updated with a new cover and 14 new pages of letters and replies, here is the classic that put America into a "Fight! Fight! Fight!" mood. Novello's collection of correspondence with political and corporate officials provides an offbeat portrait of our times. "A very funny book".--Chevy Chase.

Author : Susan Sackett
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 230 pages
File Size : 43,9 Mb
Release : 1977
Category : Star trek
ISBN : UVA:X006126144

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Letters to Star Trek by Susan Sackett Pdf

Author : Diane Power Zimmerman
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 55,7 Mb
Release : 2021-10-29
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 0578995190

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Nut Tree by Diane Power Zimmerman Pdf

Long before California became a world leader in wine and food, Nut Tree pioneered the idea of dining as, first and foremost, an experience. The food not only delighted the palate, but it also presented a visual feast. By 1952, customers experienced the bounty of farm-to-table, the nostalgia of grandma's homemade bread, a tamale of Old California, exotic tropical fruits, or stir-fried entrees inspired by Asian cultures. Later, customers sipped California wines along with fresh-from-the-farm foods. This epic story of a world-famous restaurant spans the twentieth century and tells how a California ranch grew into a renowned destination in Vacaville, California, fifty miles inland from San Francisco. Visitors came by land and by air knowing they would find surprises-something found nowhere else. They came to dine, purchase fresh baked goods, candies, unique gifts, or just to look at the art and enjoy the entertainment. While basking in the hospitality, customers came back again and again, making life-long friends with family and employees. Central to the story is the author's grandmother, Helen Harbison Power, who, as a newlywed along with her husband, Bunny, opened a fruit stand that grew into a multi-million-dollar roadside destination. For seventy-five years, Nut Tree defined Western food, mid-century design, and cutting-edge hospitality, attracting ordinary folks, and serving dignitaries alike, including Ronald Regan, Neil Armstrong, and Queen Elizabeth II. While many journalists have written articles about the rich history of Nut Tree, no one has written a five-generation retrospective. Diane Power Zimmerman draws from her own experiences as a founding family member growing up at Nut Tree and from the treasure trove of memorabilia--photos, stories, family histories, newspaper clippings, and letters. She reflects on how Nut Tree defied the odds and foreshadowed the future. Then, seemingly overnight, the future became a high-speed freeway and wall-to-wall shopping centers with an abundance of choice and fierce competition. Nut Tree, in all its complexity, could no longer compete and closed after seventy-five years.

Author : Jillian Madison,Michelle Madison
Publisher : Running Press Adult
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 41,6 Mb
Release : 2011-08-02
Category : Humor
ISBN : 0762442867

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Dear Asshole by Jillian Madison,Michelle Madison Pdf

Dear Asshole includes 101 letters to tell off all the assholes you encounter on a daily basis, each letter conveniently perforated so you can tear it out and give it to the desired offender. The world is full of assholes -- but now you can fight back! Ever wish you could leave a nasty note for that jerk meter maid who ticketed you, or the idiot who didn't clean up after his dog, or your asshole psychotic ex? Now you can! Whether it's the asshole landlord, the asshole cheapskate, the asshole backseat driver, or the constantly cheery asshole, you should never leave home without this useful book ever again! Letters include: Dear Asshole Who Stole My Parking Space Dear Asshole Who Doesn't Know How to Use Self-Checkout Dear Contagious Asshole Dear Constantly Broke Asshole Dear Online Dating Asshole Who Lied About Their Looks Dear Asshole Boss Dear Fanatically Religious Asshole at My Door And more!

Author : Jerry Seinfeld
Publisher : Thomas T. Beeler Publisher
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 40,7 Mb
Release : 2004
Category : American wit and humor
ISBN : 1574905597

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Seinlanguage by Jerry Seinfeld Pdf

Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show had become a Thursday night ritual. The show has ended, but Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This is a must-have book for all fans--and who isn't a fan?