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Author : Todd Harra,Ken McKenzie
Publisher : Citadel
Page : 257 pages
File Size : 40,5 Mb
Release : 2021-12-28
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780806541396
From rookie mistakes and runaway corpses to screaming dead men and unusual requests, a collection of stories by funeral directors.
Author : Todd Harra,Kenneth McKenzie
Publisher : Citadel Press
Page : 257 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2010-05-01
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780806534237
From scary to heartwarming and hilarious, an assortment of behind-the-scenes, true stories about life as an undertaker. From shoot-outs at funerals to dead men screaming and runaway corpses, undertakers have plenty of unusual stories to tell—and a special way of telling them. In this macabre and moving compilation, funeral directors across the country share their most embarrassing, jaw-dropping, irreverent, and deeply poignant stories about life at death’s door. Discover what scares them and what moves them to tears. Learn about rookie mistakes and why death sometimes calls for duct tape. Enjoy tales of the dearly departed spending eternity naked from the waist down and getting bottled and corked—in a wine bottle. And then meet their families—the weepers, the punchers, the stolidly dignified, and the ones who deliver their dead mother in a pickup truck. If there’s one thing undertakers know, it’s that death drives people crazy. These are the best “bodies of work” from America’s darkest profession. Praise for Mortuary Confidential “As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral.” —Joe R. Lansdale, author of Moon Lake “Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book.” —Jonathan Maberry, author of Ink “McKenzie and Harra keep us reading because these true mortuary tales are poignant—and suddenly, gaspingly, in-your-face funny.” —Booklist
Author : Kenneth McKenzie,Todd Harra
Publisher : Citadel
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 48,9 Mb
Release : 2014-06-01
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780806536651
Discover a more lighthearted side of the funeral industry in this collection of real-life stories from the authors of Mortuary Confidential. Not knowing what to do, I sat on the church steps and waited. As the gravity of my failure began to well up in me, I began to cry . . . I Had Lost The Hearse! Funerals and the all the things that accompany them are traditionally somber, contemplative events in which the bereaved look to their undertaker to guide them through that most difficult of times. Of course, sometimes tradition gets thrown under the bus. From a dysfunctional family who turn their mother’s wake into a full-blown riot, to funeral crashers looking for free meals, to a horse-drawn hearse taking the dearly departed for the ride of their afterlife, these accounts from actual undertakers will have you laughing, thinking, and gasping in disbelief. A literal graveyard of wild coincidences, slapstick humor, and touching moments, Over Our Dead Bodies explores the lighter side of the dead, the living, and the lone undertaker who must make it all go as planned—even if it doesn’t. Praise for Mortuary Confidential “Outrageous funeral stories, dipped in beauty and morbid humor.” —Caleb Wilde, author of Confessions of a Funeral Director “Curious, wildly honest stories that need to be told, but just not at the dinner table.” —Dana Kollmann, author of Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand “As unpredictable and lively as a bunch of drunks at a New Orleans funeral.” —Joe R. Lansdale, author of Moon Lake “Sick, funny, and brilliant! I love this book.” —Jonathan Maberry, Bram Stoker Award–winning author of They Bite! And Rot & Ruin “These true mortuary tales are poignant—and suddenly, gaspi
Author : Tom Jokinen
Publisher : ReadHowYouWant.com
Page : 338 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2010-09
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781458759009
At forty-four, Tom Jokinen decided to quit his job in order to become an apprentice undertaker, setting out to ask the questions: What is the right thing to do when someone dies? With the marketplace offering new options (go green, go anti-corporate, go Disney, be packed into an artificial reef and dropped in the Atlantic...), is there still room for tradition? In a year of adventures both hair-raising and hilarious, Jokinen finds a world that is radically changed since Jessica Mitford revisedThe American Way of Death, more surprising thanSix Feet Under, and even funnier and more illuminating thanStiff.If Bill Bryson were to apprentice at a funeral home, searching for the meaning of life and death, you’d haveCurtains.
Author : Caleb Wilde
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 164 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2017-09-26
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780062465269
The blogger behind Confessions of a Funeral Director—what Time magazine called a "must read"—reflects on mortality and the powerful lessons death holds for every one of us in this compassionate and thoughtful spiritual memoir that combines the humor and insight of Smoke Gets in Your Eyes with the poignancy and brevity of When Breath Becomes Air. We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed: The family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial The act of embalming a little girl that offered a gift back to her grieving family The nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away The funeral that united a conflicted community Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde offers an intimate look into the business and a new perspective on living and dying
Author : Robert Webster
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
Page : 249 pages
File Size : 55,9 Mb
Release : 2011-05-01
Category : Social Science
ISBN : 9781402250842
Why would someone want to hang out with dead bodies? With curious anecdotes and unbelievable truth, funeral director Robert Webster reveals that answer and more, offering readers entertaining and quirky stories gleaned from a life lived around death. Webster tackles those embarrassing questions we all have about what really goes on bhind the scenes when you've left this world: Strange things people put in caskets The biggest rip-offs in the business The crazy things that happen to a body after death Lime, waz, and other ways to hide the truth The most important thing an undertaker does How to avoid the high-pressure funeral parlor What that's not a coffin the body is resting in
Author : Michelle Williams
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2010-06-24
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781849014632
Michelle Williams is young and attractive, she has close family ties as well as a busy social life - but she is far from usual. She is a mortuary technician and her job involves dealing with those things in life that many people do not wish to experience directly. Yet life in the mortuary is neither gruesome nor sad. Told with good humour and common sense, we are introduced to a host of characters - the pathologists, many of them eccentric, some downright mad; the undertakers, the hospital porters and the man from the coroner's office who sings to Michelle every morning. The incidents too ensure that no two days are ever the same. From the tragic to the hilarious they include: The fitness fanatic who was run over as he did pressups in the road on a dark night The decapitated motorcyclist The guide dog who led his owner on to the railway tracks - and left him there The forty stone man for whom an entire refrigerated lorry had to be hired because he wouldn't fit in the mortuary cooler Over the course of her first year Michelle has to deal with situations and emotions that few of us will ever experience, and does so while retaining a sense of humour and a sense of perspective.
Author : Norgus Press
Publisher : Norgus Press
Page : 184 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2011-10-01
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 0615545823
The Undertaker. After you have breathed your final breath the Undertaker prepares your body for the afterlife. They carry the burden of making you at ease in your new home for all eternity. The stories these brave men and women could tell! We have gathered but a few for you today in these pages. UNDERTAKER TALES IS A FICTIONAL ANTHOLOGY OF HORROR STORIES.
Author : Neo Coloration
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 60 pages
File Size : 55,7 Mb
Release : 2020-10-27
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798553968014
Morticians, also known as undertakers, funeral directors, or "death service" professionals, prepare bodies for burial or cremation, and they arrange the details of the funeral service and other end-of-life matters. They own compassion, as well as good interpersonal, business and time-management skills. They also have knowledge of laws and ethics regarding funeral service and preparations. Working as a Mortician isn't easy and can be very stressful. Studies have shown that coloring is one of the best stress-relieving activities that help you stay inspired and in the moment. Feel relaxed and melts stress away if you want to continue to function at your best. Enjoy the snarky Mortician Life with each page you color. This coloring book contains funny and humorous Mortician-related designs and sayings surrounded by intricate details, beautiful patterns, mandalas, and flowers, etc... Perfect Gift for Morticians - Humorous Coloring book for Grown-Ups Features: Large 8 1/2 by 11-inch paper (22cm x 28cm) pages. Single-sided pages for easy removal and no bleed-through. Printed on pure white paper, 60lb-pound stock. Contains 25 unique illustrations. 2 Color test pages at the back of the book.
Author : Melville Madison Bigelow
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 760 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 1876
Category : Accident insurance
ISBN : UOM:35112101617233
Author : Anonim
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 1392 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 1896
Category : Judges
ISBN : CHI:28263192
Author : Carla Valentine
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 302 pages
File Size : 54,5 Mb
Release : 2017-06-13
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781250120687
"Using the most common post-mortem process as the backbone of the narrative, [this book] takes the reader through the process of an autopsy while also describing the history and changing cultures of our relationship with the dead. The book [examines] what happens to our bodies in the end. Each chapter considers an aspect of an autopsy alongside an aspect of Carla's own life and work and touches on some of the more controversial aspects of our feelings towards death, including the relationship between sex and death and our attitudes toward human tissue collection"--
Author : John Benjamin Lewis,Charles Carroll Bombaugh
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 478 pages
File Size : 41,6 Mb
Release : 1878
Category : Fraud
ISBN : STANFORD:36105047593020
Author : Caitlin Doughty
Publisher : W. W. Norton & Company
Page : 215 pages
File Size : 40,8 Mb
Release : 2017-10-03
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780393249903
A New York Times and Los Angeles Times Bestseller “Doughty chronicles [death] practices with tenderheartedness, a technician’s fascination, and an unsentimental respect for grief.” —Jill Lepore, The New Yorker Fascinated by our pervasive fear of dead bodies, mortician Caitlin Doughty embarks on a global expedition to discover how other cultures care for the dead. From Zoroastrian sky burials to wish-granting Bolivian skulls, she investigates the world’s funerary customs and expands our sense of what it means to treat the dead with dignity. Her account questions the rituals of the American funeral industry—especially chemical embalming—and suggests that the most effective traditions are those that allow mourners to personally attend to the body of the deceased. Exquisitely illustrated by artist Landis Blair, From Here to Eternity is an adventure into the morbid unknown, a fascinating tour through the unique ways people everywhere confront mortality.
Author : Matthew Franklin Sias
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 326 pages
File Size : 53,6 Mb
Release : 2019
Category : Emergency medical technicians
ISBN : 1910780545
A twenty-three-year veteran of emergency medical services, paramedic Matthew Sias took a detour in his career to pursue the death care business and found a complementarity between seemingly divergent careers. Silent Siren: Memoirs of a Life Saving Mortician is the record of some of the more memorable calls he has responded to through the years.
