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Written in a down-to-earth style and packed with examples and tips, this is a guide to the secret world of girls' cliques and the roles they play. It analyzes their teasing and gossip and provides advice to enable parents to empower both their daughters and themselves.
“My daughter used to be so wonderful. Now I can barely stand her and she won’t tell me anything. How can I find out what’s going on?” “There’s a clique in my daughter’s grade that’s making her life miserable. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Her own supposed friends are turning on her, and she’s too afraid to do anything. What can I do?” Welcome to the wonderful world of your daughter’s adolescence. A world in which she comes to school one day to find that her friends have suddenly decided that she no longer belongs. Or she’s teased mercilessly for wearing the wrong outfit or having the wrong friend. Or branded with a reputation she can’t shake. Or pressured into conforming so she won’t be kicked out of the group. For better or worse, your daughter’s friendships are the key to enduring adolescence—as well as the biggest threat to her well-being. In her groundbreaking book, Queen Bees and Wannabes, Empower cofounder Rosalind Wiseman takes you inside the secret world of girls’ friendships. Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid, insightful book, she dissects each role in the clique: Queen Bees, Wannabes, Messengers, Bankers, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and more. She discusses girls’ power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties. She takes readers into “Girl World” to analyze teasing, gossip, and reputations; beauty and fashion; alcohol and drugs; boys and sex; and more, and how cliques play a role in every situation. Each chapter includes “Check Your Baggage” sections to help you identify how your own background and biases affect how you see your daughter. “What You Can Do to Help” sections offer extensive sample scripts, bulleted lists, and other easy-to-use advice to get you inside your daughter’s world and help you help her. It’s not just about helping your daughter make it alive out of junior high. This book will help you understand how your daughter’s relationship with friends and cliques sets the stage for other intimate relationships as she grows and guides her when she has tougher choices to make about intimacy, drinking and drugs, and other hazards. With its revealing look into the secret world of teenage girls and cliques, enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and a much-needed sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes will equip you with all the tools you need to build the right foundation to help your daughter make smarter choices and empower her during this baffling, tumultuous time of life.
A landmark book that reveals the way boys think and that shows parents, educators and coaches how to reach out and help boys overcome their most common and difficult challenges -- by the bestselling author who changed our conception of adolescent girls. Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as “It’s nothing” or “I’m good?” Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he’ll do anything to avoid your “help?” Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls? Welcome to Boy World. It’s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from “the guys” even as they ask to copy assignments. Where “masterminds” dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy’s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he’ll become. If you want what’s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively. What you’ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent – or anyone who cares about boys – to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing – his on-the-ground reality. Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping your boy develop a positive, authentic, and strong sense of self.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman,Elizabeth Rapoport Pdf
What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up? Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals: • Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities • How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom • How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches • How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation • Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate • What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults • How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict • How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child • How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations. Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives. Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook
Boys, Girls, and Other Hazardous Materials by Rosalind Wiseman Pdf
A debut novel from the bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes! Charlie Healy just wants a drama-free year, but it doesn't seem like she's going to get it. After surviving a middle school packed with mean girls, Charlie is ready to leave all that behind in high school. But then, on her very first day, she runs into her former best friend, Will, who moved away years ago. Now he's back, he's HOT, and he's popular. And he takes Charlie back into the danger zone of the popular crowd. But when a hazing prank goes wrong, Charlie has to decide where her loyalties lie.
Almost every woman has experienced bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, she shares real-life stories from women as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. Readers will hear how adult women can be just as vicious as their younger counterparts, learn strategies for dealing with adult bullies, how to avoid being involved in relational aggression, and more. Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others.
In this Queen Bees and Wannabes for the elementary and middle school set, child and adolescent psychotherapist Katie Hurley shows parents of young girls how to nip mean girl behavior in the bud. Once upon a time, mean girls primarily existed in high school, while elementary school-aged girls spent hours at play and enjoyed friendships without much drama. But in this fast-paced world in which young girls are exposed to negative behaviors on TV and social media from the moment they enter school, they are also becoming caught up in social hierarchies much earlier. No More Mean Girls is a guide for parents to help their young daughters navigate tricky territories such as friendship building, creating an authentic self, standing up for themselves and others, and expressing themselves in a healthy way. The need to be liked by others certainly isn't new, but this generation of girls is growing up in an age when the "like" button shows the world just how well-liked they are. When girls acknowledge that they possess positive traits that make them interesting, strong, and likeable, however, the focus shifts and their self-confidence soars; "likes" lose their importance. This book offers actionable steps to help parents empower young girls to be kind, confident leaders who work together and build each other up.
From the highly acclaimed author of Caterpillar Summer comes a heartfelt story about the sweetness and stings of middle-school friendship. Meg has always found comfort in her best friend Beatrix's shadow. Self-assured Beatrix is the one who makes decisions, and the girls have been a pair since kindergarten. But middle school has brought some changes in Beatrix, especially when Meg tries to step outside her role as sidekick. A special science elective is Meg's first step away, but when she's paired with quirky new girl Hazel, Beatrix steps in to stake her claim on Meg. Meg is taken aback at how mean Beatrix can be--and how difficult it is to stand up to her friend. But as Meg gets to know Hazel while working on their backyard beehive project, she starts to wonder: Is being Beatrix's friend worth turning down the possibility of finding her own voice? This pitch-perfect exploration of middle-school friendship dynamics brims with heart and hope, and will resonate with readers of all ages. Acclaim for Caterpillar Summer An Indies Introduce Pick A Texas Bluebonnet Selection A Parents Best Book of the Year A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year An Amazon Best Book of the Year
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. Look for Under Pressure, the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls, available now. In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct—and absolutely normal—developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including Parting with Childhood, Contending with Adult Authority, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including • My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her, and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond? • Do I tell my teen daughter that I’m checking her phone? • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her? • Where’s the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder? • My teenage daughter wants to know why I’m against pot when it’s legal in some states. What should I say? • My daughter’s friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl’s mother to let her know? Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman. BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD WINNER “Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.”—The Washington Post “Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.”—The Boston Globe
Quiet, sensitive Faith starts middle school already worrying about how she will fit in. To her surprise, Amanda, a popular eighth grader, convinces her to join the school soccer team, the Bloodhounds. Having never played soccer in her life, Faith ends up on the C team, a ragtag group that’s way better at drama than at teamwork. Although they are awful at soccer, Faith and her teammates soon form a bond both on and off the soccer field that challenges their notions of loyalty, identity, friendship, and unity. The Breakaways from Cathy G. Johnson is a raw, and beautifully honest graphic novel that looks into the lives of a diverse and defiantly independent group of kids learning to make room for themselves in the world.
Empower students to stand up for what matters Created in collaboration with children and teens, Owning Up helps young people identify and be critical of social issues in their lives—from bullying and harassment in the classroom to systems of power and oppression in the world around them. While there is no one-size-fits-all curriculum, Owning Up takes us leaps forward by: Designing sessions to be easily facilitated by a school counselor, teacher, leader, or other professional in small group settings Combining discussions, games, and role-playing to engage adolescents in the complexities of social culture Exploring critical topics such as media analysis, gender, sexual harassment, racism, gossip, and self-image
Queen Bees, Drama Queens & Cliquey Teens by Anita Naik Pdf
With queen bees, drama queens and cliquey teens girl friendships can be tough! Teen Life Confidential is here to help with this guide for teenagers looking for help surviving the friendship game. Hanging out with your best friends can be awesome, but what happens when things go wrong? Queen Bees, Drama Queens and Cliquey Teens answers your friendship problems and questions and gives advice on everything from how to cope with the bullies and mean girls at school, to how to be a better friend yourself. Written by experienced author Anita Naik, this title explores all aspects of teenage girl friendships and the problems that surround them. We look at what being popular means, the downsides of friendships and what to do when things go wrong. Includes an 8 ways to empower yourself guide. Self-esteem and self-confidence are vital when coping with girl friendships and girl bullying, so we've given 8 things that the reader can do every day to improve their confidence and build their self esteem. Each section is accompanied by quotes from real teenagers to give examples of real-life problems that teenagers experience every day. We also feature quizzes to help you to assess your own behaviour and work out what your friendship style is. Anita Naik is an author, columnist, blogger and journalist. She started her career as advice columnist on the teen magazine Just 17, and is now the agony aunt at Teen Now magazine and Avon Connects. She is also a regular contributor to the parenting technology site Quibly (http://www.quib.ly) and writes regularly on the subjects of teens, tech, parenting, education and social media, across various media platforms and magazines. Kidscape is the first charity in the UK established specifically to prevent bullying and child sexual abuse. Kidscape works UK-wide to provide individuals and organisations with practical skills and resources necessary to keep children safe from harm. We are grateful to Claude Knights at Kidscape for her advice in the creation of this book. For more information please visit: http://www.kidscape.org.uk/ Chapter One - Being popular: What does it means to be popular and who you are friends with right now? Chapter Two - The girls who rule school: Here we look at the girls at the top of the class and why they behave the way they do. Chapter Three - The downside of friendships: Relational aggression explained and ways to deal with the mean behaviours that arise in girl friendships. Chapter Four - What kind of friend are you? Helps readers to assess their own friendship behaviour. We look at the different types of friend and the problems of the behaviours associated with them. Chapter Five - When things go wrong: How to cope with friendships that end, or turn nasty. A Help Section gives details of places to go for further help and guidance, and a glossary explains specific terms to readers.
There's A Boy in the Girls' Bathroom by Louis Sachar Pdf
The beloved bestseller from Newbery Medalist and National Book Award winner Louis Sachar (Holes), with a brand-new cover! “Give me a dollar or I’ll spit on you.” That’s Bradley Chalkers for you. He’s the oldest kid in the fifth grade. He tells enormous lies. He picks fights with girls, and the teachers say he has serious behavior problems. No one likes him—except Carla, the new school counselor. She thinks Bradley is sensitive and generous, and she even enjoys his far-fetched stories. Carla knows that Bradley could change, if only he weren’t afraid to try. But when you feel like the most hated kid in the whole school, believing in yourself can be the hardest thing in the world. . . .
You've Come a Long Way, Maybe by Leslie Sanchez Pdf
Leslie Sanchez -- strategist, writer and political seer -- spent much of 2008 as an analyst on CNN, examining, investigating and deciphering the historic moment for women and politics that was the presidential election. And what she sees in the future is a landscape changed drastically for women the world over and their expectations. In You've Come a Long Way, Maybe, she debunks the cultural and political myths surrounding women, and looks at the wide range of reactions Hillary, Michelle and Sarah provoked from the small towns to the big city salons to the Sunday talk shows. She pays special attention to those most active and most examined during the election: the disappointed Hillary supporters, the rabid Sarah Palin fans, and everyone else wondering about the role of the new First Lady. Along the way, Leslie takes a hard look at what the election will mean for women now and in the future, and also at what leaders might emerge in 2012, and beyond.