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The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners contains the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From shaggy-dog stories to jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct—but always diverting—collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, limericks, and puns also appear among the volume's thousands of entries categorized by topic. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speechmakers for events great and small—meeting the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. Providing more than 10,000 choices, this mammoth book even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines—at the same time that it offers some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey.
Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book, now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries. This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything funny, from birthdays and dogs to mothers-in-law and war, from the tasteful to the tasteless. The Mammoth Book of Jokes also includes hilarious epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines, and put-downs. Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favorite celebrity jokes — specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair — as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new ones.
The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
With over 10,000 entries, arranged by topic and fully indexed, here is a giant new collection of witticisms and wisecracks for the 21st century. If you're looking for a bon mot for an after-dinner talk, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this fabulous fat book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Woody Allen, Dave Barry, P. J. O'Rourke, Winston Churchill, Will Rogers, Jay Leno, P. G. Wodehouse, Bill Cosby, W. C. Fields, Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan, Groucho Marx, George Bernard Shaw and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.' P. J. O'Rourke 'I'm sure sex wouldn't be as rewarding as winning the World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good, but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.' Ronaldo
More than 10,000 stories and jokes, limericks and one-liners, put-downs and puns in the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From boners and groaners to classic shaggy-dog stories and jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct but always devilishly diverting collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, newspaper misprints, misleading headlines ("MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS"), limericks, puns, and the darnedest things said by kids ("a fjord is a Scandinavian car") also appear among the volume's ten thousand entries, which are arranged by category and fully indexed by subject. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speech-makers for events great and small. So it is that The Mammoth Book of Humor meets the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. The volume even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines-at the same time that it provides some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey. Waggish, witty, wisecracking, or whimsical, the humor is as various as it is vigorous on every page of this endlessly entertaining collection.
The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insults Here is the biggest and best ever collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents over 5000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a licence to be that ugly? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my arse. I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.
The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
With over 3,500 entries, arranged by topic, fully indexed and up-to-date for the twenty-first century, here is a bumper new collection of witticisms and wisecracks. If you're looking for a quick quip to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this marvellous mammoth book provides all you'll ever need. Entries range from insults, put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty proverbs, movie quotes and graffiti. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Tina Fey, Milton Jones, Russell Brand, Bill Bryson, Armando Iannucci, Stephen Fry, Jeremy Clarkson, Larry David, Grayson Perry, Germaine Greer, Will Ferrell and many more. Never be stuck for a good line again! 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien 'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis
The Mammoth Book of Best New Jokes by Geoff Tiballs Pdf
The Mammoth series delivers yet another compilation of jokes you can't live without. Seasoned limerick-and-joke craftsman Tibballs has compiled 500-plus pages of funny lines for every situation, providing hours of side-splitting entertainment.
From the man behind the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes, an all-new, enormous collection of fantastic jokes - indexed and categorised to help find the right joke for the right occasion, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Bigger, better, and even bulkier than before, The Mammoth Book of Jokes 2 is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs.
The Mammoth Book of 20th Century SF II by David G. Hartwell Pdf
This volume, covering the period from the 1890s to the future, includes stories from founding fathers of the field like H. G. Wells and C. S. Lewis; beloved mainstays of the genre, such as Philip Jose Farmer, Roger Zelazny and Jack Vance; notable female writers, including Nancy Kress, and authors like Bruce Sterling, William Gibson and James Morrow, who have hit their stride in the last two decades. Also featured are those widely recognised outside the genre, the celebrated writing of E. M. Forster and Michael Shaara, as well as translations of foreign writers' formative work including that of Wolfgang Jeschke and Dino Buzzati.
The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes by E. Henry Thripshaw Pdf
The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
The Mammoth Book of 10,000 Zingers by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
This collection presents the best side-splitting one-liners arranged by category. Everything's silly: from marriage and the bedroom to popular sayings to parents and kids, this collection has a zinger for every funny bone.
The Mammoth Book of the Rolling Stones by Sean Egan Pdf
'The greatest rock 'n' roll band in the world!' This vainglorious introduction given to The Rolling Stones on stage by an excitable roadie was almost immediately accepted as a simple statement of fact. It was already evident that Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Co. were, as their first manager Andrew Loog Oldham had claimed, 'a way of life'. The Stones' defiance of convention made them the figureheads of a questioning new generation, and drove the Establishment to imprison them. This enduring rebel aura and the unmistakeable craft evident in classic records such as Satisfaction, Honky Tonk Women and Brown Sugar ensured subsequent generations of diehard fans, establishing the band as the biggest box office attraction the world has ever seen. The Mammoth Book of The Rolling Stones provides a comprehensive collection of reviews, analysis, interviews and exposés - both archive and contemporary, favourable and critical, concise and epic - of these extraordinary cultural icons as they pass the astonishing milestone of 50 years as rock's pre-eminent band.
The Mammoth Book of Bizarre Crimes by Robin Odell Pdf
You couldn't make it up: incredible real-life criminal cases A fascinating A-Z of murderous crimes which spans the globe and the centuries in uncovering the extremes of human criminality in all its strangeness. This collection of unusual, if not sensational, murder cases recalls strange crimes of the past and offers insights into particularly macabre and shocking modern murders. Many of the cases also shed light on advances in crime detection, law enforcement and forensic science. Cases include: Krystian Bala, the Polish writer who killed a rival, and then used the murder as the plot for a novel; Alexander Pichuskin, who was stopped one short of killing the 64 victims he needed to 'fill a chess board'; John Lee, 'the man they could not hang' who survived three attempts to execute him; and Adelaide Bartlett, who was accused of killing her husband with chloroform, but was acquitted because no one could work out how she had done it - and she wouldn't say.