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From the man behind the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes, an all-new, enormous collection of fantastic jokes - indexed and categorised to help find the right joke for the right occasion, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Bigger, better, and even bulkier than before, The Mammoth Book of Jokes 2 is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs.
Even bigger and better than ever, The Mammoth Book of Jokes is the ultimate joke book, now revised and expanded to over 7500 entries. This endlessly entertaining collection covers everything funny, from birthdays and dogs to mothers-in-law and war, from the tasteful to the tasteless. The Mammoth Book of Jokes also includes hilarious epigrams, limericks, misprints and howlers, shaggy dog stories, politically incorrect jokes, toasts, pick-up lines, and put-downs. Extra new material for this bumper edition includes favorite celebrity jokes — specially chosen by the likes of Bill Clinton, Gordon Ramsay, Dustin Hoffman and Tony Blair — as well as no fewer than 2000 brand new ones.
The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
The biggest and best collection of jokes for all the family to enjoy. 8,000 rib-ticklers, covering every subject under the sun from Aardvarks to Zombies, including chicken jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, school jokes, sports jokes and waiter jokes. Most of the jokes are sharp one-liners but there is also a scattering of slightly longer stories.
Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes is the ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect jokes - an indispensable guide to the funny, the fearless and the filthy. Be warned, the contents of this spanking new bumper book are not for the faint-hearted. Even a blonde would blush ...if she got any of them.
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by Geoff Tibballs Pdf
A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
More than 10,000 stories and jokes, limericks and one-liners, put-downs and puns in the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From boners and groaners to classic shaggy-dog stories and jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct but always devilishly diverting collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, newspaper misprints, misleading headlines ("MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS"), limericks, puns, and the darnedest things said by kids ("a fjord is a Scandinavian car") also appear among the volume's ten thousand entries, which are arranged by category and fully indexed by subject. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speech-makers for events great and small. So it is that The Mammoth Book of Humor meets the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. The volume even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines-at the same time that it provides some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey. Waggish, witty, wisecracking, or whimsical, the humor is as various as it is vigorous on every page of this endlessly entertaining collection.
The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes by E. Henry Thripshaw Pdf
The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour by Michael Powell Pdf
A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
This selection of the very best writing on Everest begins with the first attempts and continues, via Mallory's failed bid and Hillary and Tenzing's triumph, to the disasters of recent years. It features 35 white-knuckle accounts of climbing on the world's highest mountain, with all the tragedy and triumph of humankind's striving for the top of the world, by those who know the 'Death Zone' best - the climbers themselves. But this is much more than just the best of exhilarating first-hand accounts of climbing on Everest. It includes the full history of the conquest of Everest, and provides an evocative portrait of the cruel, natural beauty of Chomolungma, 'The Mother Goddess of the World'.
The Mammoth Book of Dieselpunk by Sean Wallace Pdf
Dieselpunk: an emerging retro-futuristic sub-genre, similar to steampunk, based on the era between the First World War and the start of the Atomic Age, merging elements of noir, pulp, and the past with today?s technology . . . and sometimes a dash of the occult. Award-winning editor Wallace presents a cutting-edge collection of twenty-five vibrant stories that explore the possibilities of history while sweeping readers into high-powered hydrocarbon-fuelled adventures. Join us in an era when engines were huge, fuel was cheap and plentiful, and steel and chrome blended with the grit and grease of modern machines. Praise for The Mammoth Book of Steampunk: 'World Fantasy Award-winning editor Wallace has compiled an outstanding anthology . . . sure to satisfy even the most jaded steampunk fans and engage newcomers and skeptics. Each story exemplifies steampunk?s knack for critiquing both the past and the present, in a superb anthology that demands rereading.' Publishers Weekly
The Mammoth Book of More Bizarre Crimes by Robin Odell,Paul Donnelley Pdf
Fact is never more strange than fiction than when it comes to crime, and the crimes described here are so bizarre it's inconceivable that they could have been made up. In this all-new collection of truly unusual crimes, a sequel to the bestselling Mammoth Book of Bizarre Crimes, Odell and Donnelley tell the extraordinary stories of criminal acts far stranger than any fiction, including the murder of Italian fashion designer Gianni Versace by spree-killer Andrew Cunanan and the killing of intern Chandra Ann Levy, who had had an affair with US Representative Gary Condit, though he was cleared of any involvement in her murder. They reveal how Danilo Restivo was eventually convicted of the murder of Heather Barnett in England after the ritualistic placing of hair connected him to another murder in Italy. They tell the terrible story of the inexplicably brutal murder, over a number of days, of 15-year-old Kristy Bamu by his sister and her lover because they believed him to be practising 'witchcraft'. They also give a chilling account of the thirty-one-year-old mother-of-two, Joanna Dennehy, who killed three men. 'I started killing,' she said, 'to see if I was as cold as I thought I was. Then it got moreish and I got a taste for it.'
The Mammoth Book of the Adventures of Moriarty by Maxim Jakubowski Pdf
We think of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson, but far more seductive is the pairing of Holmes and Professor James Moriarty, 'the Napoleon of crime' - a rivalry unparalleled in the world of crime fiction. Fiercely intelligent and a relentless schemer, Moriarty is the super-villain as megastar. This wonderfully diverse collection by writers such as Martin Edwards, Jürgen Ehlers, Barbara Nadel, L. C. Tyler, Michael Gregorio, Alison Joseph and Peter Guttridge reveals not just the evil side of Moriarty's personality, but his humanity, his motivations and his human failings. Some of the stories are humorous, some scary, but all are hugely entertaining.
The Mammoth Book of Jack the Ripper Stories by Maxim Jakubowski Pdf
Maxim Jakubowski, together with Nathan Braund, edited the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jack the Ripper (1999), which has reprinted several times and was reissued in 2008 in a revised and expanded edition. The book focused on the countless theories that have been put forward with regard to the identity of the notorious Victorian serial killer and offered an extensive 100-page section presenting all the known facts in the case. It included 30 essays written by the most famous, often controversial Ripperologists putting forward their own theories. It remains one of the few titles to offer a series of alternative solutions to Jack the Ripper's identity and the truth behind the Whitechapel murders. But how many new theories and identities can researchers come up with? In this wonderful collection of brand-new stories, Jakubowski has compiled an extraordinary array of explorations into the identity of Jack the Ripper - this time unabashedly fictional, unrestrained by history and the known facts. Contributors include Carol Anne Davis, Martin Edwards, Peter Guttridge, Barbara Nadel;Alvaro Zinos-Amaro and Sally Spedding. 'Jack the Ripper' has appeared in a number of novels, as the lead character in some, beginning with Marie Belloc Lowndes's The Lodger (1913), filmed by Hitchcock. Authors as diverse as Michael Dibdin, Lindsay Faye, Philip Jose Farmer, Robert Bloch, Harlan Ellison, Alan Moore, Fredric Brown, Ramsey Campbell and Colin Wilson have all used poetic licence to 'revive' the notorious killer. The varied stories in this fantastic new collection continue this tradition with many possible identities put forward, some already suggested by historians, others more speculative, including famous names from history and fiction. Even Sherlock Holmes is on the case!
The Mammoth Book of Historical Whodunnits by Mike Ashley Pdf
An all-new collection of exciting murder-mysteries with historical settings This new volume of historical murder and mystery contains over 20 specially commissioned stories ranging in period from Ancient Rome to the reign of Good Queen Bess. It features original stories from such masters as Steven Saylor, Peter Tremayne, Philip Gooden, Susanna Gregory, Kate Ellis, Michael Jecks, Edward D. Hoch and Marilyn Todd. · In Steven Saylor?s Roman tale, Poppy and the Poisoned Cake, Gordianus the Finder feels his latest assignment is suspiciously easy to solve. · Edward D. Hoch puts a novel twist on the locked-room mystery by setting it on a ?locked ship? ? Christopher Columbus?s, in fact! · In Flibbertigibbet Paul Finch unleashes a deranged serial killer on Elizabethan London. · Falstaff ?s successor Sir Johan de Mandeville turns sleuth in Keith Taylor?s Bene?t of Clergy. · Sister Fidelma must solve the mystery of a murdered Celtic monk in Death of an Icon by Peter Tremayne. · A pig provides the key to Michael Jecks?s latest Sir Baldwin mystery.- · Cherith Baldry turns Geoffrey Chaucer into a secret agent in her version of The Pilgrim?s Tale. · Anarchy and murderous intent rule when the Romans leave the British Isles in Richard Butler?s The Last Legion. . . . plus many more tales of dark age murder and mayhem!
Mammoth Book Of Sherlock Holmes Abroad by Simon Clark Pdf
In this wonderful anthology of new stories, Sherlock Holmes travels to the far ends of the Earth in search of truth and justice. A host of singularly talented writers, while remaining respectful towards Conan Doyle's work, present a new and thrilling dimension to Holmes's career. Full list of contributors: Simon Clark; Andrew Darlington; Paul Finch; Nev Fountain; Carole Johnstone; Paul Kane; Alison Littlewood; Johnny Mains; William Meikle ;David Moody; Mark Morris; Cavan Scott; Denis O. Smith; Sam Stone and Stephen Volk.
