When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

Author : Les Carter
Publisher : Bookbaby
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 45,5 Mb
Release : 2018-06-23
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 1543935125

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When Pleasing You Is Killing Me by Les Carter Pdf

While people pleasers can be some of the nicest people you'll meet, they have an uncanny knack for finding themselves in relationships with controllers. Knowing how pleasers are motivated by duty and obligation, the controllers will persuade, cajole, argue, and convince, knowing they can erode the resolve of the pleaser rather quickly. This, of course, leaves the pleaser with residual feelings of hurt, anxiety, and resentment. Because pleasers are not as skilled in the art of coercion as the controller, they can collapse in feelings of futility. In the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me, Dr. Les Carter explains how the pleaser can become freed from futility by choosing to stay out of the controller's power games altogether. Drawing upon decades of counseling with a wide array of frustrated nice people, Dr. Carter gives sound direction to those seeking to reclaim their true selves. Relationship boundaries are explained, assertiveness is taught, and insights are offered as the reader is guided into a paradigm shift regarding the ways to respond to a controller.

Author : Les Carter
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
Page : 215 pages
File Size : 43,9 Mb
Release : 2008-01-18
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780470185148

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Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me by Les Carter Pdf

Those who are in the unenviable position of living or working with a narcissist have learned by sad trial and error that they are the only one in the relationship who can change the dynamic. Certainly narcissists don’t think they need to change. Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me is a hands-on resource for helping colleagues, families, and spouses deal with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies by learning how to change their own attitudes and responses.

Author : Dave McKeown
Publisher : Greenleaf Book Group
Page : 241 pages
File Size : 43,6 Mb
Release : 2020-01-28
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 9781626346819

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The Self-Evolved Leader by Dave McKeown Pdf

A practical guide to help executives and managers at all levels adopt a new way of leading in our fast-moving world. In this easy-to-read yet impactful book, leadership expert Dave McKeown dispels many of the leadership mindsets and approaches that are no longer effective in our organizations. In their place, he provides a compelling case for a new kind of leadership focused on achieving the team's common goals and, in doing so, helping them become the best versions of themselves. McKeown outlines the three key steps to help make the transition from Heroic Leadership to Self-Evolved Leadership, and concludes with a comprehensive 15-week program designed to help you evolve your leadership style with the kind of flexible, adaptable best practices that work to deliver results, company-wide. ​This book is ideal for any leader looking to: Stop working in the weeds and think more strategically Build empowerment deep in their team Free up their headspace to be more creative Deliver lasting results for their team and organization

Author : Katherine Crowley,Kathi Elster
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 153 pages
File Size : 52,6 Mb
Release : 2014-07-02
Category : BUSINESS & ECONOMICS
ISBN : 0446586676

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Working with You Is Killing Me by Katherine Crowley,Kathi Elster Pdf

This authoritative manual provides valuable insights for turning conflicts inthe workplace into productive working relationships.

Author : Kenneth M. Adams
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 168 pages
File Size : 40,8 Mb
Release : 2011-09-01
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780757391743

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Silently Seduced by Kenneth M. Adams Pdf

When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy—even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries—usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction—because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child. In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.

Author : Les Carter
Publisher : Jossey-Bass
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 46,6 Mb
Release : 2003-09-08
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 078796879X

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The Anger Trap by Les Carter Pdf

It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health? The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose—or help someone else to choose—a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.

Author : Les Carter
Publisher : John Wiley & Sons
Page : 230 pages
File Size : 44,7 Mb
Release : 2009-01-09
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780470490112

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Grace and Divorce by Les Carter Pdf

Grace and Divorce, written by noted author and psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter, provides sound theological thinking on divorce and wise and compassionate suggestions for reframing and deepening our understanding of this difficult and controversial topic. Using stories from his practice as a therapist, Dr. Carter offers healing to both those who divorce and those who know and love them. He explains that Jesus never intended us to be so fixed about right and wrong and so judgmental that we lose the ability to love those who do not meet His perfect standards. With kindness and love, he shows that the wonderful gift of God’s grace is the best way to respond to people facing this trying life challenge.

Author : Les Carter
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 199 pages
File Size : 44,9 Mb
Release : 2002
Category : Helping behavior
ISBN : 9810450729

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People Pleasers by Les Carter Pdf

Author : Robert M. Sapolsky
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 802 pages
File Size : 41,5 Mb
Release : 2017-05-02
Category : Science
ISBN : 9780735222786

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Behave by Robert M. Sapolsky Pdf

Why do we do the things we do? Over a decade in the making, this game-changing book is Robert Sapolsky's genre-shattering attempt to answer that question as fully as perhaps only he could, looking at it from every angle. Sapolsky's storytelling concept is delightful but it also has a powerful intrinsic logic: he starts by looking at the factors that bear on a person's reaction in the precise moment a behavior occurs, and then hops back in time from there, in stages, ultimately ending up at the deep history of our species and its genetic inheritance. And so the first category of explanation is the neurobiological one. What goes on in a person's brain a second before the behavior happens? Then he pulls out to a slightly larger field of vision, a little earlier in time: What sight, sound, or smell triggers the nervous system to produce that behavior? And then, what hormones act hours to days earlier to change how responsive that individual is to the stimuli which trigger the nervous system? By now, he has increased our field of vision so that we are thinking about neurobiology and the sensory world of our environment and endocrinology in trying to explain what happened. Sapolsky keeps going--next to what features of the environment affected that person's brain, and then back to the childhood of the individual, and then to their genetic makeup. Finally, he expands the view to encompass factors larger than that one individual. How culture has shaped that individual's group, what ecological factors helped shape that culture, and on and on, back to evolutionary factors thousands and even millions of years old. The result is one of the most dazzling tours de horizon of the science of human behavior ever attempted, a majestic synthesis that harvests cutting-edge research across a range of disciplines to provide a subtle and nuanced perspective on why we ultimately do the things we do...for good and for ill. Sapolsky builds on this understanding to wrestle with some of our deepest and thorniest questions relating to tribalism and xenophobia, hierarchy and competition, morality and free will, and war and peace. Wise, humane, often very funny, Behave is a towering achievement, powerfully humanizing, and downright heroic in its own right.

Author : Mona Awad
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 296 pages
File Size : 43,8 Mb
Release : 2019-06-11
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780735235892

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Bunny by Mona Awad Pdf

“The Secret History meets Jennifer’s Body. This brilliant, sharp, weird book skewers the heightened rhetoric of obsessive female friendship in a way I don’t think I've ever seen before. I loved it and I couldn’t put it down.” - Kristen Roupenian, author of You Know You Want This: "Cat Person" and Other Stories The Vegetarian meets Heathers in this darkly funny, seductively strange novel about a lonely graduate student drawn into a clique of rich girls who seem to move and speak as one. "We were just these innocent girls in the night trying to make something beautiful. We nearly died. We very nearly did, didn't we?" Samantha Heather Mackey couldn't be more different from the other members of her master's program at New England's elite Warren University. A self-conscious scholarship student who prefers the company of her imagination to that of most people, she is utterly repelled by the rest of her fiction writing cohort--a clique of unbearably twee rich girls who call each other "Bunny," and are often found entangled in a group hug so tight it seems their bodies might become permanently fused. But everything changes when Samantha receives an invitation to the Bunnies' exclusive monthly "Smut Salon," and finds herself drawn as if by magic to their front door--ditching her only friend, Ava, an audacious art school dropout, in the process. As Samantha plunges deeper and deeper into Bunny world, and starts to take part in the off-campus "Workshop" where they devise their monstrous creations, the edges of reality begin to blur, and her friendships with Ava and the Bunnies are brought into deadly collision. A spellbinding, down-the-rabbit-hole tale about loneliness and belonging, creativity and agency, and female friendship and desire, Bunny is the dazzlingly original second book from an author with tremendous "insight into the often-baffling complexities of being a woman" (The Atlantic).

Author : Meg Jay
Publisher : Twelve
Page : 410 pages
File Size : 48,7 Mb
Release : 2017-11-14
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 9781455559145

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Supernormal by Meg Jay Pdf

Clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Meg Jay takes us into the world of the supernormal: those who soar to unexpected heights after childhood adversity. Whether it is the loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence, nearly 75% of us experience adversity by the age of 20. But these experiences are often kept secret, as are our courageous battles to overcome them. Drawing on nearly two decades of work with clients and students, Jay tells the tale of ordinary people made extraordinary by these all-too-common experiences, everyday superheroes who have made a life out of dodging bullets and leaping over obstacles, even as they hide in plain sight as doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, lawyers, parents, activists, teachers, students and readers. She gives a voice to the supernormals among us as they reveal not only "How do they do it?" but also "How does it feel?" These powerful stories, and those of public figures from Andre Agassi to Jay Z, will show supernormals they are not alone but are, in fact, in good company. Marvelously researched and compassionately written, this exceptional book narrates the continuing saga that is resilience as it challenges us to consider whether -- and how -- the good wins out in the end.

Author : Julian Barnes
Publisher : Vintage
Page : 158 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2011-10-05
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780307957337

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The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes Pdf

BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.

Author : Patrick King
Publisher : PublishDrive
Page : 123 pages
File Size : 43,8 Mb
Release : 2019-08-13
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : PKEY:6610000213108

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Stop People Pleasing by Patrick King Pdf

Break your crippling addiction to approval and learn to be less “nice”. Do you keep your mouth shut for fear of falling out of people’s graces? Feel that you need to please and serve to stay in your social circles? You have the need to please, and all the associated beliefs. Stop bitterness, resentment, and anxiety from always saying yes. Stop People Pleasing is a frank look at people-pleasing tendencies - where they come from, how they manifest, and exactly what to do about them. Most importantly, the book emphasizes real, actionable tactics to change your relationship with yourself and others. This book was written by a recovering people-pleaser, so you can be sure that there is a real understanding of your struggles. Reprogram your beliefs and learn to accept yourself. Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. Find your voice, stand up for yourself, and put yourself first. •The psychological and often traumatic origins of people-pleasing tendencies. •The harmful beliefs you subconsciously possess and how to alter them. •How to learn new, empowering habits. Learn the deep origins of your need to please, and how to set healthy boundaries. •How to set boundaries, and avoid porous ones. •A plethora of strategies to say no and make your thoughts known. •Understand your guilt and get better with confrontation.

Author : Andrzej Bursa
Publisher : New Vessel Press
Page : 110 pages
File Size : 41,9 Mb
Release : 2015-07-13
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781939931238

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Killing Auntie by Andrzej Bursa Pdf

"The Polish postwar firebrand Andrzej Bursa acquired a reputation as a quick-burning, existentially tormented rebel. . . . Yet Bursa's dark humor and deadpan satire . . . keep utter bleakness at bay."—The Independent "A revolution against the banality of everyday life."—Gazeta Krakowska A young university student named Jurek, with no particular ambitions or talents, is adrift. After his doting aunt asks him to perform a small chore, he decides to kill her for no good reason other than, perhaps, boredom. Killing Auntie follows Jurek as he seeks to dispose of the corpse—a task more difficult than one might imagine—and then falls in love with a girl he meets on a train. Can he tell her what he's done? Will that ruin everything? "I'm convinced—simply—that we are all guilty," says Jurek, and his adventures with nosy neighbors, false-toothed grandmothers, and love-making lynxes shed light on how an entire society becomes involved in the murder and disposal of dear old Auntie. This is a short comedic masterpiece combining elements of Fyodor Dostoevsky, Jean-Paul Sartre, Franz Kafka, and Joseph Heller, coming together in the end to produce an unforgettable tale of murder and—just maybe—redemption. Andrzej Bursa was born in 1934 in Krakow, Poland, and died twenty-five years later. In his brief lifetime he composed some of the most original Polish writing of the twentieth century. Killing Auntie is his only novel. His brilliant career and tragic early death established him as a cult figure among restless and disenchanted youth.

Author : Judy Carter
Publisher : Dell
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 48,5 Mb
Release : 2010-03-03
Category : Performing Arts
ISBN : 9780307575203

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Stand-Up Comedy by Judy Carter Pdf

If you think you’re funny, buy this book! Whether you dream of becoming a star . . . A better public speaker . . . A more effective communicator . . . A funnier, happier human being . . . You can learn to leave ‘em laughing! David Letterman learned to do it. Jay Leno learned to do it. Roseanne Barr learned to do it. So can you! Now successful stand-up comic Judy Carter—who went from teaching high school to performing in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Lake Tahoe, and on over 45 major TV shows—gives you the same hands-on, step-by-step instruction she’s taught to students in her comedy workshops. She shows you how to do it: create an act, perform it, make money with it, or apply it to everyday life. Discover: • The formulas for creating comedy material • How to find your own style • The three steps to putting your act together • Rehearsal do’s and don’ts • What to do if you bomb • Ways to punch up your everyday life with humor