Why It S Ok To Not Be Monogamous

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Love and Freedom

Author : Jorge N. Ferrer
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
Page : 213 pages
File Size : 53,9 Mb
Release : 2021-06-24
Category : Philosophy
ISBN : 9781538156582

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Love and Freedom by Jorge N. Ferrer Pdf

In Love and Freedom, Jorge Ferrer proposes a paradigm shift in how romantic relationships are conceptualized, a step forward in the evolution of modern relationships. In the same way that the transgender movement surmounted the gender binary, Ferrer defines how a parallel step can—and should—be taken with the relational style binary. This book offers the first systematic discussion of relationship modes beyond monogamy and polyamory, as well as introduces the notion of “relational freedom” as the capability to choose one’s relational style free from biological, psychological, and sociocultural conditionings. To achieve these goals, Ferrer first discusses a number of critical categories—specifically, monopride/polyphobia, and polypride/monophobia—that mediate the contemporary “mono–poly wars,” that is, the predicament of mutual competition among monogamists and polyamorists. The ideological nature of these “mono–poly wars” is demonstrated through a review of available empirical literature on the psychological health and relationship quality of monogamous and polyamorous individuals and couples. Then, after showing how monogamy and polyamory ultimately reinforce each other, Ferrer articulates three relational pathways to living in-between, through, and beyond the mono/poly binary: fluidity, hybridity, and transcendence. Moving beyond that binary opens a fuzzy, liminal, and multivocal relational space that Ferrer calls novogamy. In this groundbreaking book, readers will learn practical tools to not only transform jealousy, but also enhance their relational freedom while being aware of key issues of diversity and social justice. They will also learn novel criteria to evaluate the success of their intimate relationships, and be introduced to a transformed vision of romantic love beyond both monocentrism and emerging polynormativities.

Why It's OK to Not Be Monogamous

Author : Justin L. Clardy
Publisher : Taylor & Francis
Page : 106 pages
File Size : 55,9 Mb
Release : 2023-03-28
Category : Philosophy
ISBN : 9781000850956

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Why It's OK to Not Be Monogamous by Justin L. Clardy Pdf

The downsides of monogamy are felt by most people engaged in long-term relationships, including restrictions on self-discovery, limits on friendship, sexual boredom, and a circumscribed understanding of intimacy. Yet, a "happily ever after" monogamy is assumed to be the ideal form of romantic love in many modern societies: a relationship that is morally ideal and will bring the most happiness to its two partners. In Why It’s OK to Not Be Monogamous, Justin L. Clardy deeply questions these assumptions. He rejects the claim that non-monogamy among honest, informed and consenting adults is morally impermissible. He shows instead how polyamorous relationships can actually be exemplars of moral virtue. The book discusses how social and political forces sustain and reward monogamous relationships. The book defines non-monogamy as a privative concept; a negation of monogamy. Looking at its prevalence in the United States, the book explains how common criticisms of non-monogamy come up short. Clardy argues, as some researchers have recently shown—monogamy relies on continually demonizing non-monogamy to sustain its moral status. Finally, the book concludes with a focus on equality, asking what justice for polyamorous individuals might look like.

Polysecure

Author : Jessica Fern
Publisher : Thorntree Press LLC
Page : 157 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2020-10-23
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781944934996

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Polysecure by Jessica Fern Pdf

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

More Than Two

Author : Franklin Veaux,Janet Hardy,Tatiana Gill
Publisher : Thorntree Press, LLC
Page : 368 pages
File Size : 46,8 Mb
Release : 2014-09-02
Category : Social Science
ISBN : 9780991399727

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More Than Two by Franklin Veaux,Janet Hardy,Tatiana Gill Pdf

Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now there's the new book More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory to help you find your own way.

Marriage and Civilization

Author : William Tucker
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 41,7 Mb
Release : 2014-02-03
Category : Political Science
ISBN : 9781621572190

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Marriage and Civilization by William Tucker Pdf

In his stunning new book, Marriage and Civilization, author William Tucker looks at the evidence from biology, evolution, anthropology, history, and culture to come to a remarkable conclusion: it was the monogamous pairing of male and female - unusual among mammals - that led to human evolution. Moreover, it is monogamous marriage that has shaped Western Civilization, giving us our sense of justice, undergirded Western democracy, and is the greatest institution we have for perpetuating human freedom and happiness. Yet marriage is now under threat - and perhaps not in ways that people suspect. We could actually see the de facto abolition of marriage, with the state taking many of the responsibilities formerly assumed by the nuclear family. Among Tucker's many eye-opening observations: How primitive polygamy was a retrogression from the original monogamous structure of the human family Why monogamy was essential to the development of ancient Greek democracy Why it was the Catholic Church, not the Bible or Christianity in general, that was the great defender of monogamous marriage in Western Civilization Why polygamous societies - from primitive farming communities, to the Mongols, to the Muslim world, to the early Mormons - are internally violent and have bloody borders Why same-sex marriage - utterly irrelevant, in evolutionary terms - is a distraction from the real marriage debate we should be having The prospects for monogamous marriage - and the dangers if it collapses Marriage and Civilization might be the most important, provocative, and talked-about book of the year.

Life Isn't Binary

Author : Alex Iantaffi,Meg-John Barker
Publisher : Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Page : 242 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 2019-05-21
Category : Social Science
ISBN : 9781784508647

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Life Isn't Binary by Alex Iantaffi,Meg-John Barker Pdf

'The book we all need for this moment in time.' CN LESTER 'An absolute must read' FOX FISHER 'A genius book' LIBRARY JOURNAL REVIEW Much of society's thinking operates in a highly rigid and binary manner; something is good or bad, right or wrong, a success or a failure, and so on. Challenging this limited way of thinking, this ground-breaking book looks at how non-binary methods of thought can be applied to all aspects of life, and offer new and greater ways of understanding ourselves and how we relate to others. Using bisexual and non-binary gender experiences as a starting point, this book addresses the key issues with binary thinking regarding our relationships, bodies, emotions, wellbeing and our sense of identity and sets out a range of practices which may help us to think in more non-binary, both/and, or uncertain ways. A truly original and insightful piece, this guide encourages reflection on how we view and understand the world we live in and how we all bend, blur or break society's binary codes.

The Monogamy Gap

Author : Eric Anderson
Publisher : Oxford University Press
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 55,7 Mb
Release : 2012-03-21
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 9780199943906

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The Monogamy Gap by Eric Anderson Pdf

Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally-detached recreational sex with others. Anderson coins the term "the monogamy gap" to describe this phenomenon. Anderson suggests that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires. Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation. The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them. Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay, readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

Author : Amy Gahran
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 52,5 Mb
Release : 2017-02-03
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 0998647012

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Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran Pdf

Love is not one-size-fits-all, yet often people assume that healthy, serious relationships all must follow the same basic path. The -Relationship Escalator- is society's bundle of customs for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together, marriage and more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what your options are. This book will help you: - Discover less common relationship options that might suit you. - Understand why and how people have unconventional relationships. - Empower you to negotiate about how your relationships work. - Overcome the fear that loving differently means you're doing it wrong. - Make the world a friendlier, safer place for more paths to love. Featuring real stories and insights from hundreds of people, -Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator- explores consensual nonmonogamy, love without living together, deep connections that pause and resume, and much more. The first in a series of research-based books, this introduction to relationship diversity is both accessible and surprising. LEARN MORE OR ORDER SIGNED COPIES: OffEscalator.com

The Jealousy Workbook

Author : Kathy Labriola
Publisher : SCB Distributors
Page : 200 pages
File Size : 48,8 Mb
Release : 2013-09-13
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9780937609644

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The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola Pdf

From the initial stages of trying to agree who can do what with whom, through advanced issues such as coping with logistics and seeking compersion, every relationship sooner or later confronts jealousy – and some relationships do not survive the confrontation. Between these covers you will find forty-two exercises with supporting text, developed by a professional relationship counselor and refined by hundreds of clients trying to find their own paths through jealousy. They range from basic (Exercise Two, Clarify Your Relationship Orientation) through challenging (Exercise Thirty-Four, Imagine Looking Through Their Eyes and Being In Their Shoes). All can be done solo, with a partner, or under the supervision of a helping professional, and all can be done before a problem emerges or in the throes of a jealousy crisis. Along the way, you will find solutions to the issues that bedevil even the most happily open relationships.

The Polyamorists Next Door

Author : Elisabeth Sheff
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 54,6 Mb
Release : 2015
Category : Families
ISBN : 144225310X

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The Polyamorists Next Door by Elisabeth Sheff Pdf

This book introduces polyamorous families and explains how they come to be, manage the ins and outs of daily family life, and cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society at large. Sheff investigates the polyamorous household and reveals its a...

The Mask of Masculinity

Author : Lewis Howes
Publisher : Hay House, Inc
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 42,8 Mb
Release : 2017-10-31
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9781788171281

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The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes Pdf

At 30 years old, Lewis Howes was outwardly thriving but unfulfilled inside. He was a successful athlete and businessman, achieving goals beyond his wildest dreams, but he felt empty, angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough. His whole identity had been built on misguided beliefs about what "masculinity" was. Howes began a personal journey to find inner peace and to uncover the many masks that men – young and old – wear. In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes the ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; the cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and the destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight. He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It's not easy, but if you want to love, be loved and live a great life, then it's an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make. This book is a must-read for every man – and for every woman who loves a man.

Building Open Relationships

Author : Liz Powell
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 312 pages
File Size : 49,5 Mb
Release : 2018-07-03
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 0692151591

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Building Open Relationships by Liz Powell Pdf

Have you read "that book" on non-monogamy and still wondered "But how do you actually DO this?" Are you totally great on the theory of open relationships, but feel like you don't know how it works in practice? Join Dr. Liz Powell, psychologist, speaker, and coach, as she draws from her education, research, and life experience to bring you Building Open Relationships. This new book is an all-inclusive guide to beginning and maintaining your non-monogamous life, no matter where you fall under the non-monogamous umbrella. Complete with worksheets, discussion starters, examples, and hard-won lessons (i.e. my mistakes), this book will give you all the tools you need to be more successful in non-monogamy.

OPEN

Author : Rachel Krantz
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 52,5 Mb
Release : 2022-01-25
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781913183332

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OPEN by Rachel Krantz Pdf

***** 'A starkly naked story of a young woman's adventure of self-discovery, told with a striking lack of shame or apology. Highly recommended.' - Dr. Christopher Ryan, author of Sex At Dawn 'Smart, original, ambitious, and deeply absorbing memoir... She succeeds by bringing us deftly and irresistibly into her most intimate pains and joys, stretching our understanding of what commitment and autonomy mean.' - Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of Untrue & Primates of Park Avenue 'A perfect guide to our new world, the only problem I had picking up this book was putting it back down. Open compels, entertains, and may ultimately transform its readers.' - Dr. Terry Real, internationally recognised Family Therapist, author, and founder of the Relational Life Institute 'A sexy, messy, necessary look at polyamory' - Advocate When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership - just one that did not include exclusivity. Excited but a little trepidatious, Rachel set out to see whether love and a serious relationship can coexist beyond the familiar borders of monogamy. This is her open and honest true story. Now, in her debut memoir, she chronicles her dive into non-monogamy. With fly-on-the-wall detail and extraordinary perceptiveness, OPEN takes us inside Brooklyn parties and into the wider swinger and polyamory community. Armed with her journalistic instincts, detailed journal entries and interviews with experts and therapists, Krantz also breaks new ground in confronting the unique ways tacit abuse and gaslighting can manifest when things get so complex. Unflinching and brazen, OPEN asks what liberation really looks like, and whether the pleasure really is worth the pain.

American Savage

Author : Dan Savage
Publisher : Penguin Books
Page : 318 pages
File Size : 52,5 Mb
Release : 2014-05-27
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780142181003

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American Savage by Dan Savage Pdf

The sex-advice columnist for "Savage Love" draws on his experience with the It Gets Better campaign to share pithy insights into a range of topics including health care, gun control, and marriage equality.

Foundations of Evolutionary Psychology

Author : Charles Crawford,Dennis Krebs
Publisher : Psychology Press
Page : 853 pages
File Size : 42,7 Mb
Release : 2012-10-12
Category : Psychology
ISBN : 9781135704148

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Foundations of Evolutionary Psychology by Charles Crawford,Dennis Krebs Pdf

Evolutionary psychology is concerned with the adaptive problems early humans faced in ancestral human environments, the nature of the psychological mechanisms natural selection shaped to deal with those ancient problems, and the ability of the resulting evolved psychological mechanisms to deal with the problems people face in the modern world. Evolutionary psychology is currently advancing our understanding of altruism, moral behavior, family violence, sexual aggression, warfare, aesthetics, the nature of language, and gender differences in mate choice and perception. It is helping us understand the relationships between cognitive science, developmental psychology, behavior genetics, personality, and social psychology. Foundations of Evolutionary Psychology provides an up-to-date review of the ideas, issues, and applications of contemporary evolutionary psychology. It is suitable for senior undergraduates, first year graduate students, or professionals who wish to become conversant with the major issues currently shaping the emergence of this dynamic new field. It will be interesting to psychologists, anthropologists, sociologists, economists, philosophers, cognitive scientists, and anyone interested in using new developments in the theory of evolution to gain new insights into human behavior.