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You Live and Learn, Then You Die and Forget it All by William R. Ferris Pdf
Born in Mississippi in 1891, Ray Lum virtually defined the role of livestock trader and auctioneer. He was by necessity a survivor--an individual with a canny wit, an intuitive insight into human nature, and the ability to talk a great story. Here is his story, told in his own words, with a foreword by Eudora Welty. 15 photographs.
Filled with serendipitous connections and contrasts, this volume of Mississippiana covers four hundred years. It begins with a selection from "A Gentleman from Elvas," written in 1541, and ends with an essay the novelist Ellen Douglas wrote in 1996 on the occasion of the Atlanta Olympic games. In between is a chronology of some one hundred nonfictional narratives that portray the distinctiveness of life in Mississippi. Most are reprinted, but some are published here for the first time. Each section of this anthology reveals an aspect of Mississippi's past or present. Here are narratives that depict the settlement of the land by pioneers, the lasting heritage of the Civil War, the pleasures and the pastimes of Mississippians, their food, art, rituals, and religion, the terrain and the travelers, and the conflicts that brought enormous changes to both the landscape and the population. In its wide cultural perspective, A Place Called Mississippi includes an early description of the Chickasaws, a narrative of a former slave, "Soggy" Sweat's famous "Whiskey Speech" on Prohibition, and an account of how W. C. Handy discovered the blues in a deserted train station in Tutwiler, Mississippi. Among the selections are narratives by Jefferson Davis, Belle Kearney, Walter Anderson, Ida B. Wells, Richard Wright, Craig Claiborne, Richard Ford, William Faulkner, and Eudora Welty. Written by and about blacks, whites, Native Americans, and others, these fascinating accounts convey a variety of impressions about a real place and about real people whose colorful history is large, ever-changing, and ever-mystifying.
'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd
I'm So Glad You Told Me What I Didn't Wanna Hear by Barbara Johnson Pdf
For parents who have been knocked to the floor by bad news and plastered to the ceiling by unwelcome surprises . . . here's a book to prop you up, scrape you down, and (believe it or not) help you laugh again. Bad news is bad enough. .But bad news about your children carries a triple whammy of pain, worry, and "where did we go wrong!" An accident, an illness, an unwholesome lifestyle, a devastating decision?the truth about these awful events can turn your life upside down, isolate you from family and friends, drain you of hope, and overpower you with stress. If that's your experience right now, this book can be a lifesaver. Crammed with practical guidance and sanity-saving laughter, it's a gift of hope to you from "the queen of encouragement," Barbara Johnson and other men and women who are "out there on the dance floor of life, doing the lost-parent shuffle." Drawing on her personal experience, her years of ministering to parents in pain, and the letters she has received from hundreds of hurting (and healing) parents, Barbara Johnson shares: what you can expect in the days ahead?and how to cope what to do with your shock, pain, and guilt how to find grace for your ongoing stress how to love your kids without trying to "fix 'em" how to find comfort and encouragement in scripture, friendship, and the knowledge that you're not alone how to locate a support group?or start one of your own how to pull together with your spouse?instead of letting your pain pull you apart She salts each chapter with wry observations, uplifting letters, sunny day-lifters, cartoons and just plain-funny one-liners?to life your spirits and bring you comfort. Whether you're stuck on the ceiling, groping through the tunnel, smoldering in the fire, or down for the count, this book can keep you moving and even keep you laughing through your tears as you travel the rocky path from "Why me, Lord?" to "Thank you, Lord."
Comedy: A Very Short Introduction by Matthew Bevis Pdf
With a broad scope across the millennia, from high literature to popular culture, between page and stage and screen, this Very Short Introduction considers comedy not only as a literary genre, but also as a broader impulse at work in many other historical and contemporary forms of satire, parody, and play.
Evil has a voice, and it wants to talk to you. The so-called prince of fallen angels thinks he’s the first celebrity that nobody wants to talk to, so he wants to tell you his own story. He has walked with the Christ and has lived as an angel in human form—as a body walker moving through the world’s history in stolen bodies to see what it means to be one of us. He’s working on his memoir for you to read and judge.
The Mammoth Book of Great British Humour by Michael Powell Pdf
A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
An anthology of never-before-published short essays by America's literary greats. Each October at the PEN Gala, well-known authors take the stage of the Folger Shakespeare Library's Theatre to ponder the meaning of such universal mysteries as "obsession," "illusion," "first love," and more. Each author is given only three minutes or less to speak. The results have been unpredictable--clever, confessional, inspiring, hilarious, profound, and all of them entertaining. These essays have been transcribed for the first time, and comprise this unique anthology. Among the authors are: Russell Banks, T. Coraghessan Boyle, Annie Dillard, Gail Godwin, Allan Gurganus, Jane Hamilton, Alice Hoffman, Susan Isaacs, Charles Johnson, William Kennedy, Chang-rae Lee, Larry McMurtry, Sue Miller, Joyce Carol Oates, George Plimpton, Francine Prose, Maurice Sendak, Anita Shreve, Jane Smiley, William Styron, Deborah Tannen, John Edgar Wideman.
How to Be a Complete and Utter Failure in Life, Work & Everything by Steve McDermott Pdf
Really want to know how to fail? Consistently? Massively? Irrevocably? Steve McDermott’s spent years studying the world’s greatest failures: those extraordinary individuals who’ve spectacularly underachieved in every walk of life. They all use the exact same skills and strategies--and you can learn them, too. (Maybe you know some already!) In this quick, incredibly practical guide to failure, McDermott brings together dozens of state-of-the-art techniques guaranteed to help you crash, burn, and disappoint everyone in your life. In just minutes, discover how to fail at... • Leadership • Relationships • Personal growth • Achieving happiness • Teamwork • Planning • Goal-setting • Careers • Financial security • First impressions • And so much more! DANGER: Do NOT attempt to reverse these techniques. If performed in the opposite fashion, they may cause spectacular success. The publisher and author will not be held responsible for wealth, happiness, or career achievements resulting from the use of these skills and strategies in reverse.
"Brandreth is the true Samuel Pepys of our day." Andrew Neil, BBC Radio Five Live "Brandreth, for my money, offers about the most honest, and the most amusing, account of the demented, beery futility of the Tory-ruled Commons in the 1990s." Boris Johnson, Daily Telegraph "Hilariously acute ... Irresistible." Matthew d'Ancona, Sunday Telegraph "Extremely touching ... Brandreth emerges as a decent, amusing, talented and charming man." Simon Heffer, Daily Mail "As a witty and insightful chronicler ... Brandreth is unsurpassed." Michael Simmons, The Spectator Gyles Brandreth's revealing journal paints an extraordinary portrait of Whitehall and Westminster in our time - warts and all. Brandreth - MP for Chester and government whip - enjoyed a ringside seat at the great political events of the 1990s, from the fall of Margaret Thatcher to the election of Tony Blair. With candid descriptions of the key figures of the era, from the leading players to the ministers who fell from grace, and a cast that includes the Queen, Bill Clinton and Joanna Lumley, these widely acclaimed diaries provide a fascinating insight into both the reality of modern government and the bizarre life of a parliamentary candidate and new MP. Controversially, Breaking the Code also contains the first ever insider's account of the hitherto secret world that is the Government Whips' Office. This new, complete edition features material previously excised for legal reasons, as well as additional diaries that take the story on another ten years to the departure of Tony Blair and the arrival as Tory leader of David Cameron - a bright young hopeful when Brandreth first meets him in 1993.
