5 Very Good Reasons To Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth And Other Useful Guides

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 162 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2010-10-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449406752

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 160 pages
File Size : 46,7 Mb
Release : 2011-03-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1449401163

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

Prepare to laugh your ass off.The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat. In Matthew Inman's 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: * 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times * 6 Types of Crappy Hugs * 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You * 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat * 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer

My Dog: The Paradox

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 35 pages
File Size : 43,6 Mb
Release : 2013-05-07
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449437718

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My Dog: The Paradox by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 138 pages
File Size : 46,9 Mb
Release : 2012-10-09
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449410490

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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

Author : Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews Mcmeel+ORM
Page : 158 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2014-09-30
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449460990

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The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances by Matthew Inman Pdf

This is not just a book about running. It's a book about cupcakes. It's a book about suffering. It's a book about gluttony, vanity, bliss, electrical storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a book about all the terrible and wonderful reasons we wake up each day and propel our bodies through rain, shine, heaven, and hell. From #1 New York Times best-selling author, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, beautiful, poignant collection of comics and stories about running, eating, and one cartoonist's reasons for jogging across mountains until his toenails fall off. Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen material, including "A Lazy Cartoonist's Guide to Becoming a Runner" and "The Blerch's Guide to Dieting," this book also comes with Blerch race stickers.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author : The Oatmeal Staff,Matthew Inman,TheOatmeal.com (Firm)
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 51,8 Mb
Release : 2012-07-15
Category : Cats
ISBN : 1449417051

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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You by The Oatmeal Staff,Matthew Inman,TheOatmeal.com (Firm) Pdf

The Oatmeal 2013 Wall Calendar • The Oatmeal is one of the most popular Web comics online, getting an average of 4.6 million unique visitorsand more than 20 million page views a month. • Time magazine named TheOatmeal.com one of the best blogs of 2010. Based on Matthew Inman's hugely popular Web site and hisNew York Timesbest-selling book5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth,How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You 2013 Wall Calendarfeatures a quirky and humorous full-color comic each month along with a user-friendly grid. As a bonus, the calendar also includes a free, pull-out poster.

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby

Author : Matthew Inman,The Oatmeal
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 160 pages
File Size : 48,8 Mb
Release : 2019-06-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781524854331

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Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby by Matthew Inman,The Oatmeal Pdf

Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.

If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 36 pages
File Size : 44,7 Mb
Release : 2017-09-26
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449488673

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If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

In If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men, Matthew Inman imagines, to hilarious effect, what life would be like if his dogs were a couple of old men running around his house. The result is a pitch-perfect gift for any dog owner.

Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants

Author : Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews Mcmeel+ORM
Page : 170 pages
File Size : 44,8 Mb
Release : 2013-10-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449447281

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Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants by Matthew Inman Pdf

Matthew Inman’s first collection of The Oatmeal.comspent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and sold 200,000 copies. This pivotal and influential comic collection titled 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth introduced Samurai sword-wielding kittens and informed us on how to tell if a velociraptor is having pre-marital sex. Matthew's cat-themed collection How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a #1 New York Times bestseller with more than half a million copies in print. Now with Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants, Inman offers a delicious, tantalizing follow-up featuring all new material that has been posted on the site since the publication of the first book plus never-before-seen comics that have not appeared anywhere. As with every Oatmeal collection, there is a pull-out poster at the back of the book. In this second collection of over 50 comics, you'll be treated to the hilarity of "The Crap We Put Up with Getting On and Off an Airplane," "Why Captain Higgins Is My Favorite Parasitic Flatworm," "This Is How I Feel about Buying Apps," "6 Things You Really Don't Need to Take a Photo of," and much more. Along with lambasting the latest culture crazes, Inman serves up recurrent themes such as foodstuffs, holidays, e-mail, as well as technological, news-of-the-day, and his snarky yet informative comics on grammar and usage. Online and in print, The Oatmealdelivers brilliant, irreverent comic hilarity.

Cyanide and Happiness

Author : Kris Wilson,Matt Melvin,Rob Denbleyker,Dave McElfatric
Publisher : Harper Collins
Page : 164 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2011-01-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780062043641

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Cyanide and Happiness by Kris Wilson,Matt Melvin,Rob Denbleyker,Dave McElfatric Pdf

Introducing the first real, tangible, ignitable collection of the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, featuring a selection of your favorite comics and thirty brand-new strips. From the minds of Kris, Rob, Matt, and Dave comes a barrage of irreverent entertainment sure to keep you amused until the day you die. Just see what their mothers have to say! "Dave is a nice, young man with a bright future ahead of him. I always knew he was a gifted boy who would go on to do great things. I hope he settles down with a nice, young woman and ****s the **** out of her." —Dave's mom "I don't know how to get computer pictures, so I'm glad Kris finally has a book out. I haven't read it yet, but I hope he gives me a quote on the back." —Kris's mom "I hope Robert's book does well so he can finally afford to move out. He plays his hip-hop music too loud." —Rob's mom Matt's mom was unavailable for a quote due to being dead.

How to Be Perfectly Unhappy

Author : The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman
Publisher : Andrews McMeel Publishing
Page : 48 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2017-10-31
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781449488598

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How to Be Perfectly Unhappy by The Oatmeal,Matthew Inman Pdf

In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.

The Creeps

Author : Fran Krause
Publisher : Ten Speed Press
Page : 146 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 2017-09-26
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
ISBN : 9780399579141

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The Creeps by Fran Krause Pdf

A follow-up to the New York Times best-selling Deep Dark Fears: a second volume of comics based on people's quirky, spooky, hilarious, and terrifying fears. Illustrator, animator, teacher, and comic artist Fran Krause has touched a collective nerve with his wildly popular web comic series and subsequent book Deep Dark Fears. Here he brings readers more of the creepy, funny, and idiosyncratic fears they love illustrated in comic form--such as the fear that your pets will tell other animals all your embarrassing secrets, or that someone uses your house while you're not home--as well as two longer comic short-stories about ghosts.

I Am Pusheen the Cat

Author : Claire Belton
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 192 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 2013-10-29
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781476747019

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I Am Pusheen the Cat by Claire Belton Pdf

This collection of kitty comics featuring the chubby, tubby tabby who has taken the Internet by storm will fill you in on all the basics.

Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T

Author : Ian Spector
Publisher : Penguin
Page : 176 pages
File Size : 45,6 Mb
Release : 2008-11-25
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781101175064

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Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T by Ian Spector Pdf

In November 2007, Gotham Books unleashed The Truth about Chuck Norris upon the world and changed publishing forever. Containing 400 farcical facts about pop culture icon Chuck Norris, the book burned through thirteen printings, roundhouse kicked the New York Times bestseller list, and left readers delighted (and a little bit terrified).... Now Ian Spector has returned to his voluminous vault to bring readers 200 new Chuck Norris facts alongside 200 facts about his longtime antagonist Mr. T, in a battle that pits foot against fist, beard against mohawk, and Delta Force against A-Team. Included in this fearsome tome are such startling observations as: ? There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris. ? King Kong once challenged Godzilla to an arm-wrestling match. Mr. T won. ? The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. ? The last man to make eye contact with Mr. T was Stevie Wonder. ? Chuck Norris is a man?s man?s man. ? Mr. T once beat a man to death with his own corpse. A hilarious tribute to two of the greatest humans who have ever lived, Chuck Norris vs Mr. T is the one book that can finally reveal what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object.

Hookers and Blow Save Christmas

Author : Munty C Pepin
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 22 pages
File Size : 51,8 Mb
Release : 2020-08-31
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 1777225108

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Hookers and Blow Save Christmas by Munty C Pepin Pdf

Tom Transport is stuck in a snowdrift with all the presents for the town Christmas party! It's up to Hookers the tow truck and Blow the snowblower to make their way through the snow to save the day....and the party! Hardcover Edition.