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Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 274 pages
File Size : 46,5 Mb
Release : 2009-12-29
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781416596363
In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."
Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 52,9 Mb
Release : 2010-04-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780446563536
In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."
Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 41,9 Mb
Release : 2013-04-30
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455577521
In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 55,5 Mb
Release : 2014-03-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455599721
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.
Author : Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Publisher : Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 44,8 Mb
Release : 2011-05-10
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455504657
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Dial Press Trade Paperback
Page : 290 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2020-06-23
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780525511793
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time. Through her intensely vulnerable, honest, and hilarious reflections, Chelsea shows us more than just her insides. She shows us ourselves.”—Amy Schumer Don’t miss Chelsea Handler’s new Netflix stand-up special, Revolution, now streaming! In the wake of President Donald Trump’s election, feeling that her country—her life—has become unrecognizable, Chelsea Handler has an awakening. Fed up with the privileged bubble she’s lived in, she decides it’s time to make some changes. She embarks on a year of self-sufficiency and goes into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to make sense of a childhood that ended abruptly with the death of her brother. She meets her match in an earnest, nerdy shrink who dissects her anger and gets her to confront her fear of intimacy. Out in the world, she channels her outrage into social action and finds her voice as an advocate for change. With the love and support of an eccentric cast of friends, assistants, family members (alive and dead), and a pair of emotionally withholding rescue dogs, Chelsea digs deep into the trauma that shaped her inimitable worldview and unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest and insightful, Chelsea Handler’s darkly comic memoir is also a clever and sly work of inspiration that gets us to ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.
Author : Judy Blume
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 192 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2014-04-29
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781481409933
Faced with the difficulties of growing up and choosing a religion, a twelve-year-old girl talks over her problems with her own private God.
Author : Ross Mathews
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 204 pages
File Size : 46,5 Mb
Release : 2013-05-07
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781455501793
In this hilarious and inspirational memoir, Ross Mathews -- best known as "Ross the Intern" from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno -- chronicles his life growing up as an atypical kid in a small Northwestern farm town to living as an atypical adult in Los Angeles, to eventually being his loud, proud, apologetically genuine self on national television. As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what? It totally did. Now, with his first book, Ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures. From learning to swear like a hardened trucker to that time in high school when had to face down the most frightening opponent of all (his girlfriend's lady bits), Ross holds nothing back. Oh, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, deliciously dangerous pot butter, and embezzled sandwiches. And, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, Madonna, Michelle Kwan, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with Ross's trademark humor, unique voice, and total honesty, Man Up! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold. His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams (although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then). You just need to Man Up!
Author : Sarah Silverman
Publisher : Faber & Faber
Page : 258 pages
File Size : 43,7 Mb
Release : 2010-09-02
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780571273744
Sarah Silverman's father taught her to curse-at the age of three. She was a chronic bedwetter-until she was old enough to drive. She lost her virginity at age 19-but didn't really know it. These are just a few of the outrageous true tales that Silverman shares in her alternately hilarious and moving collection of autobiographical essays. With her signature taboo-breaking humour, Silverman writes on everything from her epic struggle with hairy arms (there wasn't enough wax in the world) to the death of her infant brother (It was Nana's fault) and always leaves the reader with a smile. Mixed in among the essays are scores of embarrassing photos, mortifying childhood diary entries, and truly humiliating e-mails to and from her comedian friends.
Author : Leslie Knope
Publisher : Hachette Books
Page : 240 pages
File Size : 45,8 Mb
Release : 2011-11-22
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781401304416
Welcome to Pawnee: More Exciting than New York, More Glamorous than Hollywood, Roughly the Same Size as Bismarck, North Dakota In Pawnee, Leslie Knope (as played by Amy Poehler on NBC's hit show Parks and Recreation) takes readers on a hilarious tour through her hometown, the Midwestern haven known as Pawnee, Indiana. The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history -- like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America.
Author : Josh Wolf
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 40,9 Mb
Release : 2013-03-19
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455511693
Josh Wolf--one of the stars and writers of Chelsea Lately and After Lately--delivers a hilarious collection of essays that reminds us all what it takes to conquer fatherhood without sacrificing manhood. Struggling to make it as a stand-up comic didn't always fit with being a single parent. But Josh figured out his own set of rules--through trial and (frequent) error. Early picking up kids from school? The nearby strip club is a great place to kill time and bond with some like-minded dads. Want a drunken heart-to-heart with your son? First make sure there's no Sharpie around in case you pass out. Wondering where to take that special someone at the end of the night? Remember that no sane woman will have sex with you in a one-bedroom apartment where your kids are sleeping--even if you promise to be really, really quiet. Whether it's revealing the secrets to limitless hookups (hint: it's single moms) and getting rid of your children's friends that you just can't stand (hint: it's not single moms), or blackmailing PTA members and ignoring health codes, Josh is sure to impart some parenting wisdom along the way. Or at least have a good time trying.
Author : Maris Wicks
Publisher : Macmillan
Page : 129 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2016-03-29
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 9781626721456
Tegneserie. This book look at ocean science and covers the biology of coral reefs as well as their ecological importance
Author : Jonathan Aviv, MD, FACS
Publisher : Harmony
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 52,5 Mb
Release : 2017-01-24
Category : Health & Fitness
ISBN : 9781101905593
Dr. Aviv guides readers through healthy dietary choices with targeted recipes, helping them balance their bodies and minds for optimal health and break acid-generating habits for good. Do you suffer from abdominal bloating; a chronic, nagging cough or sore throat; postnasal drip; a feeling of a lump in the back of your throat; allergies; or shortness of breath? If so, odds are that you are experiencing acid reflux without recognizing its silent symptoms, which can lead to serious long-term health problems, including esophageal cancer. In The Acid Watcher Diet, Dr. Jonathan Aviv, a leading authority on the diagnosis and treatment of acid reflux disease, helps readers identify those often misunderstood symptoms while providing a proven solution for reducing whole-body acid damage quickly and easily. His 28-day program is part of a two-phase eating plan, with a healthy balance of both macronutrients (proteins, carbs, and fats) and micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, antioxidants), that works to immediately neutralize acid and relieve the inflammation at the root of acid reflux.
Author : Matthew Teacher
Publisher : Running Press Adult
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 46,6 Mb
Release : 2012-11-13
Category : Music
ISBN : 0762448008
A deluxe interactive workbook for songwriters, featuring approximately 70 spreads on which to compose 70 songs. The book is a sturdy hardcover (no jacket) with a lay-flat binding for use on music stands and flat surfaces. Also includes printed chord stickers to make the songwriting process easier and more legible, plus a removable poster that shows approximately 48 of the most popular chords for reference.
Author : Tom Bergeron
Publisher : Harper Collins
Page : 244 pages
File Size : 53,6 Mb
Release : 2009-03-30
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780061867590
In this memoir, the charming TV host shares funny yet poignant stories from his life and career, plus his secrets to staying calm on & off camera. Tom Bergeron, Emmy Award–winning former host of Dancing with the Stars and America’s Funniest Home Videos, has always been ambitious, driven, and charming. However, as a young man, he had an enemy that posed a serious threat to what otherwise would have been guaranteed success—a bad temper. His family and friends didn’t keep their concerns to themselves, but Tom’s petulance remained a problem until his first date with a woman who threatened to end their relationship when, in a fit of anger, he put a dent in his car door. “If you want us to go any further, you’d better do something about that,” Lois said, unabashed and unafraid. Tom, embarrassed, then and there committed himself to controlling that temper. (That woman later became his wife, by the way.) This humorous memoir will be filled with anecdotes of how Tom, who never breaks character, stutters or so much as breaks a sweat (even when an Osmond faints at his feet on live TV), uses meditation and other regimented, relaxation techniques to stay focused, energetic, and happy on and off the camera. Praise for I’m Hosting as Fast as I Can! “The charm and wit that have made Tom Bergeron one of television’s most popular hosts is reflected beautifully in I’m Hosting as Fast as I Can! Readers will love Tom’s book.” —Bob Barker “You are a good man, Charlie Brown! Also an honest man, an entertaining man, a life-instructing man, and one hell of an autobiographer. Congratulations, Tom!” —Carl Reiner