Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Uganda Be Kidding Me

Chelsea Handler
Uganda Be Kidding Me Book PDF

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 43,7 Mb
Release : 2014-03-04
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455599721

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Uganda Be Kidding Me by Chelsea Handler Pdf

Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me Book PDF

Author : Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims
Publisher : Borderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 49,9 Mb
Release : 2011-05-10
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455504657

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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Friends Chelsea's Family, and Other Victims Pdf

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

Life Will Be the Death of Me

Chelsea Handler
Life Will Be the Death of Me Book PDF

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Dial Press
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 49,8 Mb
Release : 2019-04-09
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780525511786

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Life Will Be the Death of Me by Chelsea Handler Pdf

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handler’s year of self-discovery—featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles A SKIMM READS PICK • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time.”—Amy Schumer In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then Donald Trump happens. In a torpor of despair, she decides that she’s had enough of the privileged bubble she’s lived in—a bubble within a bubble—and that it’s time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large. At home, she embarks on a year of self-sufficiency—learning how to work the remote, how to pick up dog shit, where to find the toaster. She meets her match in an earnest, brainy psychiatrist and enters into therapy, prepared to do the heavy lifting required to look within and make sense of a childhood marked by love and loss and to figure out why people are afraid of her. She becomes politically active—finding her voice as an advocate for change, having difficult conversations, and energizing her base. In the process, she develops a healthy fixation on Special Counsel Robert Mueller and, through unflinching self-reflection and psychological excavation, unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest, insightful, and deeply, darkly funny, Chelsea Handler’s memoir keeps readers laughing, even as it inspires us to look within and ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives. Praise for Life Will Be the Death of Me “You thought you knew Chelsea Handler—and she thought she knew herself—but in her new book, she discovers that true progress lies in the direction we haven’t been.”—Gloria Steinem “I always wondered what it would be like to watch Chelsea Handler in session with her therapist. Now I know.”—Ellen DeGeneres “I love this book not just because it made me laugh or because I learned that I feel the same way about certain people in politics as Chelsea does. I love this book because I feel like I finally really got to know Chelsea Handler after all these years. Thank you for sharing, Chelsea!”—Tiffany Haddish

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang Book PDF

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2010-04-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780446563536

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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler Pdf

In these personal essays, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, love life, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit (Philadelphia Inquirer). Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on . . . Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

My Horizontal Life

Chelsea Handler
My Horizontal Life Book PDF

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 141 pages
File Size : 51,5 Mb
Release : 2013-04-30
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455577521

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My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler Pdf

In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Chelsea Handler
Are You There Vodka It s Me Chelsea Book PDF

Author : Chelsea Handler
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 274 pages
File Size : 48,7 Mb
Release : 2009-12-29
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781416596363

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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler Pdf

In a word: hilarious. . . . These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they're also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt--Laura Zigman, author of "Animal Husbandry."

What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding

Kristin Newman
What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding Book PDF

Author : Kristin Newman
Publisher : Crown
Page : 306 pages
File Size : 44,6 Mb
Release : 2014-05-20
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780804137607

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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman Pdf

A funny, sexy, and ultimately poignant memoir about mastering the art of the “vacationship”—the inspiration for the upcoming Freeform series While You Were Breeding “What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is kind of like if Eat, Pray, Love were written by your funniest friend.”—Rachel Dratch Kristin Newman spent much of her twenties and thirties buying dresses to wear to her friends’ weddings and baby showers. Not ready to settle down and in need of an escape from her fast-paced job as a sitcom writer, Kristin instead traveled the world, often alone, for several weeks each year. In addition to falling madly in love with the planet, Kristin fell for many attractive locals, men who could provide the emotional connection she wanted without costing her the freedom she desperately needed. Kristin introduces readers to the Israeli bartenders, Finnish poker players, sexy Bedouins, and Argentinean priests who helped her transform into “Kristin-Adjacent” on the road–a slower, softer, and, yes, sluttier version of herself at home. Equal parts laugh-out-loud storytelling, candid reflection, and wanderlust-inspiring travel tales, What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is a compelling debut that will have readers rushing to renew their passports.

It Takes Balls

Josh Wolf
It Takes Balls Book PDF

Author : Josh Wolf
Publisher : Grand Central Publishing
Page : 175 pages
File Size : 41,7 Mb
Release : 2013-03-19
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781455511693

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It Takes Balls by Josh Wolf Pdf

Josh Wolf--one of the stars and writers of Chelsea Lately and After Lately--delivers a hilarious collection of essays that reminds us all what it takes to conquer fatherhood without sacrificing manhood. Struggling to make it as a stand-up comic didn't always fit with being a single parent. But Josh figured out his own set of rules--through trial and (frequent) error. Early picking up kids from school? The nearby strip club is a great place to kill time and bond with some like-minded dads. Want a drunken heart-to-heart with your son? First make sure there's no Sharpie around in case you pass out. Wondering where to take that special someone at the end of the night? Remember that no sane woman will have sex with you in a one-bedroom apartment where your kids are sleeping--even if you promise to be really, really quiet. Whether it's revealing the secrets to limitless hookups (hint: it's single moms) and getting rid of your children's friends that you just can't stand (hint: it's not single moms), or blackmailing PTA members and ignoring health codes, Josh is sure to impart some parenting wisdom along the way. Or at least have a good time trying.

Love, Skip, Jump

Shelene Bryan
Love Skip Jump Book PDF

Author : Shelene Bryan
Publisher : Thomas Nelson
Page : 257 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2014-05-06
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9781400206179

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Love, Skip, Jump by Shelene Bryan Pdf

Every significant event in the Bible happened because someone said yes to God. Start living the adventure of yes today! In this whimsical yet inspiring book, Shelene tells the stories of real-life paths God took her on to learn some simple truths that changed everything in her life—everything for the better. By loving how our Creator made us to love; skipping comfort and safety to help those who can never repay us; and taking a risk to jump into the epic journey God has for our lives, the reality is we are all just one yes away from changing everything. Don’t miss out on the incredible adventure God has for you. Say yes to God—love, skip, and jump your way to his plans for you!

Live Fast Die Hot

Jenny Mollen
Live Fast Die Hot Book PDF

Author : Jenny Mollen
Publisher : Anchor
Page : 274 pages
File Size : 40,6 Mb
Release : 2017-06-27
Category : Family & Relationships
ISBN : 9781101969984

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Live Fast Die Hot by Jenny Mollen Pdf

*A NEW YORK TIMES HUMOR BESTSELLER* By the author of I Like You Just the Way I Am and a frequent Chelsea contributor, an outrageous collection of personal stories about motherhood, responsibility, and other potential disasters. Jenny Mollen is a writer and actress living in New York. Until recently, her life was exciting, sexy, a little eccentric, and one hundred percent impulsive. She had a husband who embraced her crazy—who understood her need to occasionally stalk around the house in his ex-girlfriend’s old beach caftans and to invite their drug dealer to Passover seder (so he wouldn’t feel like they were using him only for drugs). Then they had their son, Sid, and overnight, Jenny was forced to grow up: to be responsible, to brush her hair, to listen to her voicemail. Searingly funny and surprisingly affecting, Live Fast Die Hot is a collection of stories about what happens when you realize that some things are more important than crafting the perfect tweet—and a reminder that even if you never thought you were cut out for parenting, at least you can be better at it than your mother.

I Like You Just the Way I Am

Jenny Mollen
I Like You Just the Way I Am Book PDF

Author : Jenny Mollen
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
Page : 272 pages
File Size : 41,6 Mb
Release : 2014-06-17
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781466838581

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I Like You Just the Way I Am by Jenny Mollen Pdf

A New York Times Best Seller! By the actress, writer, and one of the funniest women on Twitter, an outrageous, hysterical memoir of acting on impulse, plotting elaborate hoaxes, and refusing to acknowledge boundaries in any form Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved—by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc. Some people might call that impulse crazy, but isn't "crazy" really just a word boring people use to describe fun people? (And Jenny is really, really fun, you guys!) In these pages, you'll find stories of Jenny at her most genuine, whether it's stalking her therapist (because he knows everything about her so shouldn't she get to know everything about him?); throwing a bachelorette party so bad that one of the guests is suspected dead; or answering the eternal question, Would your best friend blow your husband on a car ride to dinner if she didn't know you were hiding in the backseat? I Like You Just the Way I Am is about not doing the right thing—about indulging your inner crazy-person. It is Jenny when she's not trying to impress anyone or come across as a responsible, level-headed member of society. With any luck it will make you better acquainted with who you really are and what you really want. Which, let's be honest, is most likely someone else's email password.

Ali's Well That Ends Well

Ali Wentworth
Ali s Well That Ends Well Book PDF

Author : Ali Wentworth
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 132 pages
File Size : 52,6 Mb
Release : 2022-05-10
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780062980885

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Ali's Well That Ends Well by Ali Wentworth Pdf

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Bestselling author Ali Wentworth offers a comedic look at family, friendship, and lessons learned during the Covid-19 pandemic in her new collection of laugh-out-loud comic vignettes. Like many, Ali Wentworth spent the pandemic seesawing between highs, lows, and baking an unnecessary amount of chocolate cake. Between binging every tv show in existence to conquering TikTok to becoming a (semi) empty-nester, Ali experienced her share of turmoil (including an early case of Covid), but she also grew a little, learned a lot, and found comfort in some unexpected people and places. In Ali’s Well That Ends Well, Wentworth turns her gimlet eye to the year no one saw coming. With her signature irreverent style, she shares the most hysterical, absurd, and sometimes trying episodes that her family endured during the terrible global pandemic. Thoroughly relatable, absolutely charming, and filled with moments both hilarious and poignant, this terrific collection once again showcases the comedic genius of a beloved star who is “the girlfriend you want to have a glass of wine with, the one who makes you laugh because she sees the funny and the absurd in everything" (Huffington Post).

What We Find

Robyn Carr
What We Find Book PDF

Author : Robyn Carr
Publisher : Harlequin
Page : 346 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2016
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9780778318859

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What We Find by Robyn Carr Pdf

A Denver neurosurgeon relocates to the small rural town named after her ancestor in the aftermath of a wrongful malpractice suit to recover and reconnect with her estranged father--

How to American

Jimmy O. Yang
How to American Book PDF

Author : Jimmy O. Yang
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 41,7 Mb
Release : 2018
Category : Asian American actors
ISBN : 0306921863

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How to American by Jimmy O. Yang Pdf

Standup comic, actor and fan favorite from the popular HBO series Silicon Valley shares his memoir of growing up as a Chinese immigrant in California and making it in Hollywood. "I turned down a job in finance to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. My dad thought I was crazy. But I figured it was better to disappoint my parents for a few years than to disappoint myself for the rest of my life. I had to disappoint them in order to pursue what I loved. That was the only way to have my Chinese turnip cake and eat an American apple pie too." Jimmy O. Yang is a standup comedian, film and TV actor and fan favorite as the character Jian Yang from the popular HBO series Silicon Valley. In How to American, he shares his story of growing up as a Chinese immigrant who pursued a Hollywood career against the wishes of his parents: Yang arrived in Los Angeles from Hong Kong at age 13, learned English by watching BET RapCity for three hours a day, and worked as a strip club DJ while pursuing his comedy career. He chronicles a near deportation episode during a college trip Tijuana to finally becoming a proud US citizen ten years later. Featuring those and many other hilarious stories, while sharing some hard-earned lessons, How to American mocks stereotypes while offering tongue in cheek advice on pursuing the American dreams of fame, fortune, and strippers.

I Can Barely Take Care of Myself

Jen Kirkman
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself Book PDF

Author : Jen Kirkman
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 218 pages
File Size : 46,6 Mb
Release : 2013-04-16
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781451667004

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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself by Jen Kirkman Pdf

Jen Kirkman is "childfree by choice." Here's what she'd like to say to everyone who can't stop telling her she'll change her mind.