I Am A Genius Of Unspeakable Evil And I Want To Be Your Class President
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I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President by Josh Lieb Pdf
Family Guy meets Election in this hilarious young adult debut! Twelve-year-old Oliver Watson’s got the IQ of a grilled cheese sandwich. Or so everyone in Omaha thinks. In reality, Oliver’s a mad evil genius on his way to world domination, and he’s used his great brain to make himself the third-richest person on earth! Then Oliver’s father—and archnemesis—makes a crack about the upcoming middle school election, and Oliver takes it as a personal challenge. He’ll run, and he’ll win! Turns out, though, that overthrowing foreign dictators is actually way easier than getting kids to like you. . . Can this evil genius win the class presidency and keep his true identity a secret, all in time to impress his dad?
From the New York Times bestselling author of I Am A Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President “A witty mash-up of favorite fantasy motifs.”—New York Times Book Review “Ratscalibur is funny, it’s scary, and it’s sweet, like life. But it has talking rats and magic, so it’s better than life.”—Jimmy Fallon “Full of clever dialogue and hilarious puns...Don’t be surprised if this novel achieves best-seller status.” —Booklist “The only way I could’ve liked this more is if I were eleven.”—Ira Glass “A charming take on an old favorite.”—Publishers Weekly When Joey is bitten by an elderly rat, he goes from aspiring seventh-grader to three-inch tall rodent. At first, Joey is amazed by his new rat self. The city streets call to him at night. Smells that would have repelled him before are suddenly tantalizing. (A chicken bone? Yes! A squashed cockroach? Like perfume!) And wow, the freedom! But when a bout of hunger leads Joey to pull the spork from the scone, he finds himself at the center of a longtime rat prophecy. Joey has unwittingly unlocked the sword Ratscalibur; and now, it is up to him to protect his new rat friends from the evil crows who seek to destroy their peaceful kingdom. But what does an eleven-year-old know about actual swordplay? And what happens when Joey no longer wants to be a rat?
The instant New York Times bestseller featured on NPR's Weekend Edition with Scott Simon! B. J. Novak (bestselling author of The Book With No Pictures) described this groundbreaking poetry collection as "Smart and sweet, wild and wicked, brilliantly funny--it's everything a book for kids should be." Lauded by critics as a worthy heir to such greats as Silverstein, Seuss, Nash and Lear, Harris's hilarious debut molds wit and wordplay, nonsense and oxymoron, and visual and verbal sleight-of-hand in masterful ways that make you look at the world in a whole new wonderfully upside-down way. With enthusiastic endorsements from bestselling luminaries such as Lemony Snicket, Judith Viorst, Andrea Beaty, and many others, this entirely unique collection offers a surprise around every corner. Adding to the fun: Lane Smith, bestselling creator of beloved hits like It's a Book and The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, has spectacularly illustrated this extraordinary collection with nearly one hundred pieces of appropriately absurd art. It's a mischievous match made in heaven! "Ridiculous, nonsensical, peculiar, outrageous, possibly deranged--and utterly, totally, absolutely delicious. Read it! Immediately!" --Judith Viorst, bestselling author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
"Very few books are this entertaining to read. Even fewer are literally an active crime scene. Please help find Chapter 2. Without it, this book is nothing." -John Oliver, host of HBO's Last Week Tonight Chapter Two is Missing is a hilarious picture book mystery starring a hopelessly lost narrator, an unqualified detective, and a very sneaky janitor, who are all surprised to discover that second chapter of the very book of which they are a part is--gasp--missing! Do not be alarmed, but the second chapter of this book appears to be missing! It was here a minute ago, but now it seems to have simply walked off. Not only that, but some of the punctuation has gone topsy-turvy, a bunch of letter Ms are hiding in Chapter 5, and Chapter 45 appears to be from another book entirely! The narrator is going to need some assistance getting things in order, especially with the unhelpful detective who keeps butting in and that shifty janitor lurking about. Luckily he has you--the reader--to help! From Emmy winning comedy writer and producer Josh Lieb, Chapter Two is Missing is a hilarious whodunit, an irreverent look at storytelling, and perfect for fans of Snappsy the Alligator (Did Not Ask to Be in This Book) and The Book With No Pictures.
Anthony has never been able to stand up for himself —- that is, not until his girlfriend is in someone else’s arms. Then Anthony vows revenge and devises the Plan. It begins with getting a job at the fast-food restaurant where his nemesis happens to be a star employee. But when the Plan is finally in place, will Anthony’s hunger for revenge be satisfied? Will he prove he’s not a wuss?
Three adolescent boys with a single goal: see a real live naked girl. The result? Razor-sharp, rapid-fire, and raunchy, of course. And beyond hilarious. Fifteen-year-old Matt Gratton and his two best friends, Coop and Sean, always set themselves a summertime goal. This year's? To see a real-live naked girl for the first time -- quite a challenge, given that none of the guys has the nerve to even ask a girl out on a date. But catching a girl in the buff starts to look easy compared to Matt's other summertime aspiration: to swim the 100-yard butterfly (the hardest stroke known to God or man) as a way to impress Kelly West, the sizzling new star of the swim team. In the spirit of Hollywood’s blockbuster comedies, screenwriter-turned-YA-novelist Don Calame unleashes a true ode to the adolescent male: characters who are side-splittingly funny, sometimes crude, yet always full of heart.
When Chub leads his cadre of middle school misfits in an effort to bring down the evil empire led by his nemesis Arch, he inadvertently becomes the school hero.
From Jay Asher, the bestselling author of THIRTEEN REASONS WHY - now a Netflix TV show - and Carolyn Mackey, comes a story of friendship, destiny, and finding love. What if you could see how your life would unfold just be clicking a button? It’s 1996 and Facebook isn't even invented. Yet somehow, best friends Emma and Josh have discovered their profiles, fifteen years in the future … and they’re not sure they like what they see. The more Emma and Josh learn about their future lives, the more obsessed they become on changing the destiny that awaits them. But what if focusing on the future, means that you miss something that’s right in front of you? ?
Rob's sister Chloe lies in a coma after a riding accident, trapped in a forest of dreams between life and death. But when a dark druid shape-shifts his way into Rob's life, despair turns to hope. Because the druid knows the way through the Unworld, where he claims Chloe is imprisoned. Could the ominous black ring of timbers slowly emerging from a secret archaeological dig hold the key to rescuing her? And will Chloe want to be rescued from a world where the landscapes of story merge and blur, and she has the chance to be Queen? Catherine Fisher's new novel combines a fascinating exploration of Celtic myth with a modern quest for understanding. Where is the land of the imagination? And if we found our way would we ever want to come back?
The Secrets to Ruling School (Without Even Trying) (Secrets to Ruling School #1) by Neil Swaab Pdf
It’s the first week of middle school, i.e., the Worst Place in the Entire World. How do you survive in a place where there are tough kids twice your size, sadistic teachers, and restrictions that make jail look like a five-star resort? Easy: with the help of Max Corrigan, middle school “expert” and life coach. Let Max teach you how to win over not just one, but all of the groups in school, from the Preps to the Band Geeks. Along the way, Max offers surefire advice and revealing tips on how to get through universal middle school experiences like gym class, detention, faking sick, dealing with jocks and bullies, and acing exams (without getting caught cheating). In an innovative format that is part narrative and part how-to, acclaimed illustrator Neil Swaab has created a hilarious new reading experience that is reminiscent of video games and sure to engage even the most reluctant reader.
Author : Jennifer Brown Publisher : Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Page : 302 pages File Size : 53,5 Mb Release : 2009-09-01 Category : Young Adult Fiction ISBN : 9780316071208
For readers of Marieke Nijkamp's This Is Where It Ends, a powerful and timely contemporary classic about the aftermath of a school shooting. Five months ago, Valerie Leftman's boyfriend, Nick, opened fire on their school cafeteria. Shot trying to stop him, Valerie inadvertently saved the life of a classmate, but was implicated in the shootings because of the list she helped create. A list of people and things she and Nick hated. The list he used to pick his targets. Now, after a summer of seclusion, Val is forced to confront her guilt as she returns to school to complete her senior year. Haunted by the memory of the boyfriend she still loves and navigating rocky relationships with her family, former friends, and the girl whose life she saved, Val must come to grips with the tragedy that took place and her role in it, in order to make amends and move on with her life. Jennifer Brown's critically acclaimed novel now includes the bonus novella Say Something, another arresting Hate List story.
A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius by Stacey Matson Pdf
Arthur Bean is a genius-it's just that no one else realizes this quite yet. He's going to be a world-famous author, and the first step is to win this year's story-writing contest. What he writes is pretty funny, but it gets him into trouble too. Like with his English teacher. And the school newspaper advisor. And cool girl Kennedy. And Arthur's number one nemesis, Robbie Zack. But all great authors spark controversy, so Arthur's not too concerned. Through letters, email exchanges, "SEE ME" notes and doodles, enter the funny, touching, and often mixed-up mind of Arthur Bean, creative genius.
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents Earth (The Book) by Jon Stewart Pdf
Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race: What we looked like; what we accomplished; our achievements in society, government, religion, science and culture -- all in a tome of 238 pages with lots of color photos, graphs and charts. After two weeks of hard work, they had their book. EARTH (The Book) is the definitive guide to our species. With their trademark wit, irreverence, and intelligence, Stewart and his team posthumously answer all of life's most hard-hitting questions, completely unburdened by objectivity, journalistic integrity, or even accuracy.
As John Green, New York Times bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars said, “King Dork will rock your world.” The cult favorite from Frank Portman, aka Dr. Frank of the Mr. T. Experience, is a book like nothing ever done before--King Dork literally has something for everyone: At least a half-dozen mysteries, love, mistaken identity, girls, monks, books, blood, bubblegum, and rock and roll. This book is based on music--a passion most kids have--and it has original (hilarious) songs and song lyrics throughout. When Tom Henderson finds his deceased father’s copy of J. D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, his world is turned upside down. Suddenly high school gets more complicated: Tom (aka King Dork) is in the middle of at least half a dozen mysteries involving dead people, naked people, fake people, a secret code, girls, and rock and roll. As he goes through sophomore year, he finds clues that may very well solve the puzzle of his father’s death and—oddly—reveal the secret to attracting semi-hot girls (the secret might be being in a band, if he can find a drummer who can count to four. A brilliant story told in first person, King Dork includes a glossary and a bandography, which readers will find helpful and hilarious. Praise for King Dork: “Basically, if you are a human being with even a vague grasp of the English language, King Dork, will rock your world.”—John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars “[No account of high school] has made me laugh more than King Dork. . . . Grade A.”—Entertainment Weekly “Impossibly brilliant.”—Time “Provides a window into what it would be like if Holden Caulfield read The Catcher in the Rye.”—New York Post [STAR] “Original, heartfelt, and sparkling with wit and intelligence. This novel will linger long in readers’ memories.”—School Library Journal, Starred [STAR] “A biting and witty high-school satire.”—Kirkus Reviews, Starred [STAR] “Tom’s narration is piercingly satirical and acidly witty.”—The Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books, Starred “Loaded with sharp and offbeat humor.”—USA Today “King Dork is smart, funny, occasionally raunchy and refreshingly clear about what it’s like to be in high school.”—San Francisco Chronicle “King Dork: Best Punk Rock Book Ever.”—The Village Voice “I love this book as much as I hated high school, and that’s some of the highest praise I can possibly give.”—Bookslut.com
Resolving to earn so much money that his mother will no longer stress out over the bills, eleven-year-old Timmy Failure launches a detective business with a lazy polar bear partner named Total but finds their enterprise "Total Failure, Inc." challenged by a college-bound spy and a four-foot-tall girl whom Timmy refuses to acknowledge.