Memorable One Liners

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5,000 Great One Liners

Author : Grant Tucker
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
Page : 355 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2012-09-25
Category : Reference
ISBN : 9781849544825

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5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker Pdf

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

The Little Guide to Friends

Author : Hippo! Orange
Publisher : Little Books
Page : 192 pages
File Size : 53,5 Mb
Release : 2020-10
Category : Social Science
ISBN : 1911610600

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The Little Guide to Friends by Hippo! Orange Pdf

The One We All Love to Remember. Friendsmay have stopped filming in 2004 but Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey have never left our screens or our hearts. Now let their words comfort and cajole you through the tricky, sticky and downright funny times in life. The One About Their Best One-Liners: The Little Guide to Friendscontains 170 quotes straight from the mouths of Manhattan's most famous sextet. They'll be there for you as you tackle some of the biggest topics in our existences: life, work, dating, relationships, self-knowledge, sarcasm and... food. Could it BE any easier to get life advice from your favourite Friendscharacters? 'I'm gonna go get one of those job things.' Rachel faces reality after cutting financial ties with her dad. As seen on BuzzFeed.com, 16 December 2015, by Krystie Lee Yandoli. 'I'm Chandler and I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.' Chandler fumbles introducing himself to Monica's ex, Richard. As seen on BuzzFeed.com, 22 September 2014, by Ariana Lange. 'You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends.' Joey almost rumbles Rachel trying to hook up with the cute delivery guy. As seen on USAToday.com, 18 September 2019, by USA Today staff.

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

Author : Geoff Tibballs
Publisher : Robinson
Page : 607 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2012-06-07
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781780335360

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The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by Geoff Tibballs Pdf

A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

Memorable One-Liners

Author : Daytona
Publisher : iUniverse
Page : 86 pages
File Size : 48,9 Mb
Release : 2003-05-26
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780595274017

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Memorable One-Liners by Daytona Pdf

Memorable one-liners include such original one-liners as the following: On bachelors: "She knew I was a bachelor. When I offered her a seat, she found it was left up." And on luck: "I'm not too lucky. I once met this woman who wanted to paint the town with me. It was part of her community service." Memorable one-liners is creative and humorous compilation of original one liners about bachelors, dating, marriage, work and even snoring and impotence, by Daytona. It's good fodder for around the water cooler or to toss out among friends. It will surely liven up any conversation or at the very least provide some gems worth mining!

Great Funny One-Liners

Author : Frank Allen
Publisher : New Holland Publishing Australia Pty Limited
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2008
Category : Invective
ISBN : 1741107008

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Great Funny One-Liners by Frank Allen Pdf

"Funny, humorous, clever quotes and insults"--Publisher.

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 312 pages
File Size : 54,6 Mb
Release : 2013-11-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781628734201

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5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by Anonim Pdf

“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Author : Anonim
Publisher : ببلومانيا للنشر والتوزيع
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 43,5 Mb
Release : 2024-02-17
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 8210379456XXX

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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Anonim Pdf

You can go after the job you want…and get it! You can take the job you have…and improve it! You can take any situation you’re in…and make it work for you! Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 30 million copies. Dale Carnegie’s first book is a timeless bestseller, packed with rock-solid advice that has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. As relevant as ever before, Dale Carnegie’s principles endure, and will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age. Learn the six ways to make people like you, the twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking, and the nine ways to change people without arousing resentment.

Penguin Readers Level 3: Wonder (ELT Graded Reader)

Author : R J Palacio
Publisher : Penguin UK
Page : 67 pages
File Size : 47,7 Mb
Release : 2020-07-30
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9780241482810

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Penguin Readers Level 3: Wonder (ELT Graded Reader) by R J Palacio Pdf

Penguin Readers is an ELT graded reader series. Please note that the eBook edition does NOT include access to the audio edition and digital book. Written for learners of English as a foreign language, each title includes carefully adapted text, new illustrations and language learning exercises. Titles include popular classics, exciting contemporary fiction, and thought-provoking non-fiction, introducing language learners to bestselling authors and compelling content. The eight levels of Penguin Readers follow the Common European Framework of Reference for language learning (CEFR). Exercises at the back of each Reader help language learners to practise grammar, vocabulary, and key exam skills. Before, during and after-reading questions test readers' story comprehension and develop vocabulary. Wonder, a Level 3 Reader, is A2 in the CEFR framework. The text is made up of sentences with up to three clauses, introducing first conditional, past continuous and present perfect simple for general experience. It is well supported by illustrations, which appear on most pages. August "Auggie" Pullman has been home-schooled all his life. Now he is starting fifth grade at a school in New York City. He doesn't want other students to look at him, but that isn't easy when he looks like he does. Visit the Penguin Readers website Register to access online resources including tests, worksheets and answer keys. Exclusively with the print edition, readers can unlock a digital book and audio edition (not available with the eBook).

The Ultimate Dad Joke Book

Author : Hugh Murmie
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 108 pages
File Size : 46,6 Mb
Release : 2020-05-10
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798644639052

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The Ultimate Dad Joke Book by Hugh Murmie Pdf

New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

DAD

Author : Adams Media
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 256 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2017-04-04
Category : FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
ISBN : 9781507202999

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DAD by Adams Media Pdf

"Contains hundreds of quotes from various celebrities, writers, athletes, politicians, and others about fathers and fatherhood. The quotes range from funny and elegant to poignant and insightful"--

A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up

Author : Chris Head
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing
Page : 201 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2018-07-12
Category : Performing Arts
ISBN : 9781350035539

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A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up by Chris Head Pdf

Stand-up: it's the ultimate solo art form. Yet, behind the scenes, you will increasingly find the shadowy figure of a director. For comics themselves and for those who support them, this is the first book to give the director's perspective on creating and performing stand-up comedy. Drawing on his own experience of directing stand-up alongside speaking to comedians and their directors, Chris Head produces a revealing perspective on the creative process, comic persona, writing stand-up, structuring material and delivering a performance. Directors interviewed include Logan Murray, John Gordillo and Simon McBurney, who between them have directed Eddie Izzard, Michael McIntyre, Milton Jones, Lenny Henry and French & Saunders. With a foreword by BBC arts editor Will Gompertz and contributions from many other interviewees including Oliver Double (author of Getting the Joke), this is the only book that goes all the way from one-liners to theatre via comedy club sets and full-length shows. Perfect for stand-ups from newbies to pros, students of comedy, academics studying and teaching stand-up and for directors themselves, A Director's Guide to the Art of Stand-up offers hundreds of inspiring practical insights and shows how creating the comedian's highly personal, individual act can be a deeply collaborative process.

Out of My Mind

Author : Sharon M. Draper
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2012-05
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 9781416971719

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Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper Pdf

Considered by many to be mentally retarded, a brilliant, impatient fifth-grader with cerebral palsy discovers a technological device that will allow her to speak for the first time.

You're Better Than Me

Author : Bonnie McFarlane
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 191 pages
File Size : 55,6 Mb
Release : 2016-02-23
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9780062319500

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You're Better Than Me by Bonnie McFarlane Pdf

In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively readable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy-person, from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane. It took Bonnie McFarlane a lot of time, effort, and tequila to get to where she is today. Before she starred on Last Comic Standing and directed her own films, she was an inappropriately loud tomboy growing up on her parents’ farm in Cold Lake, Canada, wetting her pants during standardized tests and killing chickens. Desperate to find “her people”—like-minded souls who wouldn’t judge her because she was honest, ruthless, and okay, sometimes really rude—Bonnie turned to comedy. In her explosively funny and no-holds-barred memoir, Bonnie tells it like it is, and lays bare all of her smart (and her not-so-smart) decisions along her way to finding her friends and her comedic voice. From fistfights in elementary school to riding motorcycles to the World Famous Comic Strip, to Late Night with David Letterman, and through to her infamous “c” word bit on Last Comic Standing, You’re Better Than Me is her funny and outrageous trip through the good, bad, and ugly of her life in comedy. McFarlane doesn’t always keep her mouth shut when she should, but at least she makes people laugh. And that’s all that matters, right?

Connect The Dots

Author : Bansal, rashmi
Publisher : Westland
Page : 335 pages
File Size : 55,6 Mb
Release : 2011-12-31
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 9381626707

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Connect The Dots by Bansal, rashmi Pdf

Mahima Mehra did it.Ranjiv Ramchandani did it.Kalyan Varma did it. Connect the Dots is the story of 20 enterprising individuals without an MBA, who started their own ventures. They were driven by the desire to prove themselves. To lead interesting, passionate, meaningful lives. Their stories say one thing loud and clear. You don’t need a fancy degree or a rich daddy to dream big and make it happen. It’s all in your head, your heart, your hands.

Speak: The Graphic Novel

Author : Laurie Halse Anderson
Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
Page : 384 pages
File Size : 48,6 Mb
Release : 2018-02-06
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9781466897878

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Speak: The Graphic Novel by Laurie Halse Anderson Pdf

The critically acclaimed, award-winning, modern classic Speak is now a stunning graphic novel. "Speak up for yourself—we want to know what you have to say." From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless—an outcast—because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. Through her work on an art project, she is finally able to face what really happened that night: She was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her. With powerful illustrations by Emily Carroll, Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak: The Graphic Novel comes alive for new audiences and fans of the classic novel. This title has Common Core connections.