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Read This Book and Never Fart Again by Tim Miller Pdf
It's been almost a decade since the Fart Monster first entered the world, now he's back in this hilarious new book from bestselling creators Tim Miller and Matt Stanton When you've got a problem, who do you call? The fart monster has spent years releasing a barrage of bottom bazookas onto the world. Now, in a surprising twist, he's here to help put an end to those roars from the rear! Follow along at home as the fart monster leads us through his DIY guide to easing the common fart.
Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.
Here's Another Damn Book That No One Will Read by jason Johnson Pdf
Yes, it's another damn book by political humorist Jason Johnson, who again tickles the funny bone while he punches the kidneys. Read his new collection of damn essays, including, "I Hate Sarah Palin and So Does Jesus," "Rape Isn't Always Funny," "Political Moderates Can Suck It," and the heart-warming "I Like It When Hunters Shoot Each Other," plus many more. It's a damned wild ride for anyone who bothers to read the damn thing.
Old MacDonald Heard a Fart by Derek Landy,Olaf Falafel Pdf
"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.
"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
New 2021 Father's Day Gift Idea For Dad AND the Kids! Is your Dad the family's number 1 farter? Looking for something that Dad can read with his kids? Want a children's story book that will have everyone smiling and laughing till the end? Introducing My Dad Loves to Toot by Tootin' Tom! Follow Dad's hilarious farting story where sometimes his love of tooting does more harm than good. But maybe there is a clever way that he can use it to his advantage? Why Choose My Dad Loves to Toot? Bonding Experience Reading together is one of the best ways for dads and their kids to build stronger bonds and share special moments Professional Illustrations Fully colored custom illustrations that immerse you in the story by bringing every character and scene to life. Great Gift Idea: When it comes to an easy and quick, yet creative gift idea for Dad or the kids, there is no matching a story book that they can experience together. Need More Reasons? ✅ Premium gloss cover with fully colored interior pages. ✅ Ideal for all ages that like silly farting humor - nothing overly gross. ✅ Age-appropriate illustrations - to be enjoyed by both adults and young children. ✅ Hilarious farting situations that are sure to have the kids (and adults!) giggling with laughter. So What Are You Waiting For? Click "Add To Cart" NOW & Get This New Release In Time For Father's Day!
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Weird Canada by Bathroom Readers' Institute Pdf
The Great White North is revealed as the Great Weird North in this entertaining tome from the best-selling Bathroom Reader series. Did you know that Canada was almost called Hochelaga? That’s just one of thousands of wacky facts awaiting readers in Uncle John’s quirky celebration of Earth’s second largest country. You’ll find page after page of bizarre history (like why the beaver was once classified as a fish), plus head-scratching news items (like the crook who returned to the Tim Hortons he’d just robbed to tip the workers), odd places to go (like Mr. Spock’s birthplace in a town called Vulcan), and crazy eats (like the restaurant that makes you eat in complete darkness). So whether you live in Come By Chance, Joe Batt’s Arm, Starvation Cove, or anywhere else inside (or outside) of Canada, yukon count on Uncle John to deliver a world of weirdness from all over this great country. For example: - Cow-patty bingo in Alberta (Rule #1: Wear gloves) - How to enforce the new Quebec law that requires dogs to be bilingual - The sea of Molson Golden that once shut down an Ontario freeway - The mystery of the mini earthquakes in a New Brunswick town - Why it’s illegal to kill a sasquatch in British Columbia - The Nova Scotia company that makes mattresses for cows - Saskatchewan’s Willow Bunch Giant, a real man who could lift a horse over his head - The giant fiberglass “Happy Rock” statue in--where else?--Gladstone, Manitoba And much, much more!
There is a Monster Under My Bed Who Farts (Fart Monster and Fri by Tim Miller Pdf
From the mega-bestselling creators of Fart Monster and Friends comes your favourite characters, now in paperback! There is a monster under my bed who farts. You don't want to use the bathroom after him... Everyone says, 'It wasn't me!' But what if it REALLY wasn't you? What if it was the monster who lives under your bed? How much trouble can one little monster cause... Written and illustrated by superstar duo, Tim Miller and Matt Stanton, this book will have you rolling all over the floor laughing. PRAISE 'With There is a Monster Under My Bed Who Farts, the two men have come up with an instant classic. It's funny, it's beautifully illustrated and it's ever so naughty. I loved it. Now it's time to share it with my daughter!' - Rob Minshull, ABC Radio Brisbane 'If the word fart offends you, don't buy this book by these Aussie blokes because you'll be encouraging your preschooler to embrace their gastric shortcomings. The super-cute illustrations will even make puritans smile' - Herald Sun 'Tickle your toddler's funny bone with this irreverent story' - Mother and Baby 'Tim Miller's text comprises simple statements about where and how the farting takes place, leaving plenty of narrative room for Matt Stanton's cartoon-style illustrations. Using simple shapes, bulging-eyed characters and dynamic compositions, he engagingly captures the personalities of the little boy, the monster and the farts. This book will provoke disgust and hilarity in equal measure, but there is no doubt that it will definitely appeal to the legion of littlies who are fascinated with "impolite" bodily functions' - Canberra Times 'The title says it all, and this jovial book will delight the under fours' - Weekend Australian
A Gentle Madness continues to astound and delight readers about the passion and expense a collector is willing to make in pursuit of the book. The book captures that last moment in time when collectors pursued their passions in dusty bookshops and street stalls, high stakes auctions, and the subterfuge worthy of a true bibliomaniac. An adventure among the afflicted, A Gentle Madness is vividly anecdotal and thoroughly researched. Nicholas Basbanes brings an investigative reporter's heart to illuminate collectors past and present in their pursuit of bibliomania. A New York Times Notable Book of the Year.
I need a new bum! Mine's got a crack. I can see in the mirror a crack in the back. What to do when you need a new bum? Should you get one that's blue or yellow spotted? A Chevy bum, a rocket bum that's all fire and thrust, or a robo-bum? The options are endless - but wait, Dad's bum crack is showing too? Maybe this is contagious.
Roy Hudd's career began in the 1950s and since then he has worked with most of the major stars of the last forty years. Born in Croydon in 1936, his early life was turbulent. His father left home and his mother committed suicide during the war, leaving his formidable, but adored grandmother, to raise him, and it was she who gave him the title for this book. His big television break came with Not So Much a Programme, More a Way of Life with David Frost, John Bird and John Fortune and he also had a brief stint in the popular TV soap Coronation Street. His radio career includes the hugely popular The News Huddlines, which he starred in and ran for twenty-six years. With over thirty pantomimes under his belt, as well as many memorable Variety and West End performances, perhaps most notably as Fagin in Cameron Mackintosh's first production of Oliver!, A Fart in a Colander brings together some wonderful stories from his life, and sparkles with the fun and laughter Roy has brought to millions of people throughout his career.
Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.
Gene Wolfe's Return to the Whorl is the third volume, after On Blue's Waters and In Green's Jungles, of his ambitious SF trilogy The Book of the Short Sun . . . It is again narrated by Horn, who has embarked on a quest in search of the heroic leader Patera Silk. Horn has traveled from his home on the planet Blue, reached the mysterious planet Green, and visited the great starship, the Whorl and even, somehow, the distant planet Urth. But Horn's identity has become ambiguous, a complex question embedded in the story, whose telling is itself complex, shifting from place to place, present to past. Perhaps Horn and Silk are now one being. Return to the Whorl brings Wolfe's major new fiction, The Book of the Short Sun, to a strange and seductive climax. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Want to learn the Python language without slogging your way through how-to manuals? With Head First Python, you’ll quickly grasp Python’s fundamentals, working with the built-in data structures and functions. Then you’ll move on to building your very own webapp, exploring database management, exception handling, and data wrangling. If you’re intrigued by what you can do with context managers, decorators, comprehensions, and generators, it’s all here. This second edition is a complete learning experience that will help you become a bonafide Python programmer in no time. Why does this book look so different? Based on the latest research in cognitive science and learning theory, Head First Pythonuses a visually rich format to engage your mind, rather than a text-heavy approach that puts you to sleep. Why waste your time struggling with new concepts? This multi-sensory learning experience is designed for the way your brain really works.