5 000 Laugh Out Loud Jokes And One Liners

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5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Skyhorse
Page : 288 pages
File Size : 49,6 Mb
Release : 2021-10-19
Category : Humor
ISBN : 1510766995

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5,000 Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes and One-Liners by Anonim Pdf

Thousands of jokes and zingers to expand your repertoire and become a master of comedy! Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 312 pages
File Size : 40,8 Mb
Release : 2013-11-01
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781628734201

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5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by Anonim Pdf

“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

5,000 Great One Liners

Author : Grant Tucker
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
Page : 355 pages
File Size : 53,7 Mb
Release : 2012-09-25
Category : Reference
ISBN : 9781849544825

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5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker Pdf

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

Man Walks into a Bar

Author : Stephen Arnott,Mike Haskins
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 448 pages
File Size : 52,9 Mb
Release : 2022-05-10
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781646043712

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Man Walks into a Bar by Stephen Arnott,Mike Haskins Pdf

Be the life of the party with this ridiculous and definitely-not-for-kids joke book. Includes knock-knock-jokes, one-liners, puns, and more hilarious jokes. Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids)

Author : Rob Elliott
Publisher : Baker Books
Page : 128 pages
File Size : 53,5 Mb
Release : 2010-08-01
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 9781441213327

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Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids) by Rob Elliott Pdf

Over 2 million sold! USA TODAY bestseller! Wall Street Journal bestseller! What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much? They get indy-gestion. Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This mega-bestselling book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
Page : 313 pages
File Size : 48,5 Mb
Release : 2013-11-06
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781616088545

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5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners by Anonim Pdf

A treasury of the world's top-selected one-liners and jokes, published for today's generation of social media comics, includes such puns, zingers and witty remarks as "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." By the creator of The Margaret Thatcher Book of Quotations. Original. 10,000 first printing.

The Best Joke Book (Period)

Author : William Donohue
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
Page : 208 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2014-11
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781440583094

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The Best Joke Book (Period) by William Donohue Pdf

Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

More One Liners, Jokes and Gags

Author : Grant Tucker
Publisher : Biteback Publishing
Page : 298 pages
File Size : 51,7 Mb
Release : 2013-11-07
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781849546720

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More One Liners, Jokes and Gags by Grant Tucker Pdf

After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.

3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners

Author : Dave Phillips
Publisher : Gramercy
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 54,7 Mb
Release : 2005
Category : English wit and humor
ISBN : 0517226812

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3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners by Dave Phillips Pdf

Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."

The Mammoth Book of One-Liners

Author : Geoff Tibballs
Publisher : Robinson
Page : 607 pages
File Size : 41,8 Mb
Release : 2012-06-07
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781780335360

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The Mammoth Book of One-Liners by Geoff Tibballs Pdf

A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

More Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids

Author : Rob Elliott
Publisher : Revell
Page : 154 pages
File Size : 52,7 Mb
Release : 2014-06-10
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 9781441245236

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More Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott Pdf

Q: What do you get when you cross a dentist and a boat? A: A Tooth Ferry. Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake. Kids are clamoring for more uproarious jokes, and More Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids gives children ages seven and up many more hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this brand new collection of hundreds of hilarious jokes with their friends and family! A great gift for any child.

More Lunch Lines

Author : Dan Signer
Publisher : Chronicle Books
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 53,7 Mb
Release : 2020-03-03
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN : 1452174423

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More Lunch Lines by Dan Signer Pdf

A fresh helping of laugh-out-loud jokes from the creator of Lunch Lines! What is a sheep's favorite karate move? A lamb chop! Parents can turn lunchtime into a real treat with a joke from More Lunch Lines every day! Packed with enough jokes for a whole school year and accompanied by hilarious illustrations, this clever book serves up a fresh helping of sidesplitting jokes and riddles on topics kids love, like animals, space, and sports. Just tear out a joke and drop it in a lunch for a school year of smiles—perfect for busy parents and hectic mornings! • A perfect back-to-school gift for busy parents • Enough hilarious jokes for an entire school year! • Dan Singer is a comedy writer who has written for the TV shows A.N.T. Farm, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and One Day at a Time. Joke loving kids who love Lunchbox Notes and Laugh Out Loud Jokes for Kids will laugh it up for More Lunch Lines. • Joke books for kids age 5 and up • Kids lunch notes jokes • Lunch box notes Dan Signer is a comedy writer who has written for TV shows including A.N.T. Farm, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and One Day at a Time. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two sons.

The Ultimate Dad Joke Book

Author : Hugh Murmie
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 108 pages
File Size : 46,9 Mb
Release : 2020-05-10
Category : Electronic
ISBN : 9798644639052

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The Ultimate Dad Joke Book by Hugh Murmie Pdf

New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids)

Author : Rob Elliott
Publisher : Revell
Page : 86 pages
File Size : 53,5 Mb
Release : 2014-02-25
Category : Humor
ISBN : 9781441220516

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Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids (Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids) by Rob Elliott Pdf

All kids love animals, and all kids love to laugh. From the bestselling author of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids comes this collection of hundreds of animal-themed jokes that will have animal lovers rolling in the aisles. Forget about chickens crossing roads. Laugh-Out-Loud Animal Jokes for Kids is a veritable joke jungle for young comedians everywhere.

Ask a Manager

Author : Alison Green
Publisher : Ballantine Books
Page : 304 pages
File Size : 43,9 Mb
Release : 2018-05-01
Category : Business & Economics
ISBN : 9780399181825

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Ask a Manager by Alison Green Pdf

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together