Hello I Want To Die Please Fix Me

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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

Author : Anna Mehler Paperny
Publisher : Random House Canada
Page : 336 pages
File Size : 46,5 Mb
Release : 2019-08-06
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780735272842

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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me by Anna Mehler Paperny Pdf

NATIONAL BESTSELLER SHORTLISTED FOR THE HILARY WESTON WRITERS' TRUST PRIZE FOR NONFICTION Award-winning journalist Anna Mehler Paperny's stunning memoir chronicles with courageous honesty and uncommon eloquence her experience of depression and her quest to explore what we know and don't know about this disease that afflicts almost a fifth of the population--providing an invaluable guide to a system struggling to find solutions. As fascinating as it is heartrending, as outrageously funny as it is serious, it is a must-read for anyone impacted by depression--and that's pretty much everybody. Depression is a havoc-wreaking illness that masquerades as personal failing and hijacks your life. After a major suicide attempt in her early twenties, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved to put her reporter's skills to use to get to know her enemy, setting off on a journey to understand her condition, the dizzying array of medical treatments on offer and a medical profession in search of answers. Charting the way depression wrecks so many, she maps competing schools of therapy, pharmacology, cutting-edge medicine, the pill-popping pitfalls of long-term treatment, the glaring unknowns and the institutional shortcomings that both patients and practitioners are up against. She interviews leading medical experts across Canada and the US, from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners, and others dabbling in strange hypotheses--and shares compassionate conversations with fellow sufferers. Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me tracks Anna's quest for knowledge and her desire to get well. Impeccably reported, it is a profoundly compelling story about the human spirit and the myriad ways we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world.

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Revised Edition

Author : Susan Rose Blauner
Publisher : HarperCollins
Page : 306 pages
File Size : 52,6 Mb
Release : 2019-06-25
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9780062936417

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How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Revised Edition by Susan Rose Blauner Pdf

NOW WITH A NEW CHAPTER AND AN UPDATED RESOURCES SECTION Suicide has touched the lives of nearly half of all Americans, yet it is rarely talked about openly. In her highly acclaimed book, Susan Blauner—a survivor of multiple suicide attempts—offers guidance and hope for those contemplating ending their lives and for their loved ones. “Each word written with thoughtful intent; each story told with the deepest of honesty and humility, and in doing so Blauner puts forward a life-saving book."—Daniel J. Reidenberg, PsyD, Executive Director, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (www.save.org) “I continued to romanticize my death by suicide: who would find me; what I’d look like. I spent hundreds of hours planning my funeral, imagining the remorse of my family and friends. I wrote good-bye letters, composed wills, and disrupted the lives of everyone close to me. Then reality hit.”—Susan Rose Blauner The statistics on suicide are staggering. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds, and for each completed suicide there may be twenty or more attempts. In How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Susan Blauner is the perfect emissary for a message of hope and a program of action for these millions of people. A survivor of multiple suicide attempts, she explains the complex feelings and fantasies that surround suicidal thoughts. In a direct, nonjudgmental, and loving voice, she offers affirmations and suggestions for those experiencing life-ending thoughts, and for their friends and family. With an introduction by Bernie Siegel, M.D., this important, timely book has now been updated with a revised resources section, and a new chapter on the author’s experiences since the book’s initial publication.

I Hate Myself and Want to Die

Author : Anna Young
Publisher : Trafford Publishing
Page : 206 pages
File Size : 53,8 Mb
Release : 2011-06-09
Category : Fiction
ISBN : 9781426972379

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I Hate Myself and Want to Die by Anna Young Pdf

For Anna Young, stabbing at her veins with a needle was a normal part of life. Its what she had wanted since she learned in seventh grade that her idols were heroin addicts. She strived to become a junkie and was successful. In I Hate Myself and Want to Die, Young recounts her struggles with drugs, suicide, and bipolar disorder. Honest and self-disclosing, Young narrates the intimate details of her drug use and the path to addiction, her time spent in jail and detox, the ravages of withdrawal, her efforts to rehabilitate, her unsuccessful attempts to commit suicide, and her diagnosis with bipolar disorder. This memoir provides a behind-the-scenes and firsthand look at the trials of drug addiction, its wide-reaching effects, and the very real challenge of recovery. I walk into my new cell; it is lockdown after lunch I lay my head down to ease my headache from the bright lights. I just sit in my bed and shake, sweat, and groan. Once in a while I drift off to sleep. I dream about Elle and getting high, and then I am startled awake. I stare at the ceiling looking for a spot to hang myself.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

Author : Sarah J. Robinson
Publisher : WaterBrook
Page : 257 pages
File Size : 44,7 Mb
Release : 2021-05-11
Category : Religion
ISBN : 9780593193532

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I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die by Sarah J. Robinson Pdf

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Is This Scary?

Author : Jacob Scheier
Publisher : ECW Press
Page : 86 pages
File Size : 52,7 Mb
Release : 2021-04-12
Category : Poetry
ISBN : 9781773057200

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Is This Scary? by Jacob Scheier Pdf

A challenging exploration of mental illness and disability from Governor General’s Award winner Jacob Scheier. Is This Scary? digs deep into internal landscapes of suffering, including depression and anxiety, chronic physical ailment, and rare neurological malady. With its many eccentric songs and odes to medications and medical procedures, this book is full of both levity and unapologetic lament. Pushing back against societal stigma, Is This Scary? unflinchingly addresses experiences of psychiatric institutionalization and suicidality, without either romanticizing or pathologizing them. Scheier rejects much of the mainstream cultural views of mental illness, subverting the biochemical model by emphasizing the radical subjectivity of mental suffering. While the poems render the difficulty of communicating pain to others, they defiantly celebrate its expression and evocation through visceral lyricism. Scheier also challenges our culture’s desire to be inspired by stories of “triumphing” over illness and disability. Nothing is overcome here, the journey from illness to wellness is one of narrative and aesthetic disruption. The perpetually incomplete search for self and home is ultimately at the heart of this book: along with being a person with disabilities, the poet-speaker identifies as a Diaspora-Jew, engaging exile as a chronic state of being that isn’t intended to be resolved, but rather explored, expressed, and honored.

This Close to Happy

Author : Daphne Merkin
Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Page : 301 pages
File Size : 47,9 Mb
Release : 2017-02-07
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9780374711917

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This Close to Happy by Daphne Merkin Pdf

A New York Times Book Review Favorite Read of 2016 “Despair is always described as dull,” writes Daphne Merkin, “when the truth is that despair has a light all its own, a lunar glow, the color of mottled silver.” This Close to Happy—Merkin’s rare, vividly personal account of what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression—captures this strange light. Daphne Merkin has been hospitalized three times: first, in grade school, for childhood depression; years later, after her daughter was born, for severe postpartum depression; and later still, after her mother died, for obsessive suicidal thinking. Recounting this series of hospitalizations, as well as her visits to myriad therapists and psychopharmacologists, Merkin fearlessly offers what the child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz calls “the inside view of navigating a chronic psychiatric illness to a realistic outcome.” The arc of Merkin’s affliction is lifelong, beginning in a childhood largely bereft of love and stretching into the present, where Merkin lives a high-functioning life and her depression is manageable, if not “cured.” “The opposite of depression,” she writes with characteristic insight, “is not a state of unimaginable happiness . . . but a state of relative all-right-ness.” In this dark yet vital memoir, Merkin describes not only the harrowing sorrow that she has known all her life, but also her early, redemptive love of reading and gradual emergence as a writer. Written with an acute understanding of the ways in which her condition has evolved as well as affected those around her, This Close to Happy is an utterly candid coming-to-terms with an illness that many share but few talk about, one that remains shrouded in stigma. In the words of the distinguished psychologist Carol Gilligan, “It brings a stunningly perceptive voice into the forefront of the conversation about depression, one that is both reassuring and revelatory.”

If He Had Been with Me

Author : Laura Nowlin
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
Page : 336 pages
File Size : 41,8 Mb
Release : 2013-04-02
Category : Juvenile Fiction
ISBN : 9781402277849

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If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin Pdf

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

Stars Need Counting

Author : Concetta Principe
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 53,6 Mb
Release : 2021-02
Category : Literary Collections
ISBN : 1774220237

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Stars Need Counting by Concetta Principe Pdf

Stars Need Counting by Concetta Principe meditates on questions of suicide in the mode of A. Alvarez, when he says, in A Savage God, that there are no answers to these questions, because suicide is a ?closed world? ? so closed that it's not our place to judge or cast shame. These essays explore the quality of what is closed about this world, bring it close enough to scrape the shame off the act, and for both those who have passed and those who survive, offer peace.

The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook

Author : Kathryn Hope Gordon
Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
Page : 245 pages
File Size : 41,6 Mb
Release : 2021-07-01
Category : Self-Help
ISBN : 9781684037049

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The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook by Kathryn Hope Gordon Pdf

If you or someone you love is dealing with a crisis right now, please call 1-800-273-8255 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach a crisis counselor at the Crisis Text Line. A compassionate guide to managing suicidal thoughts and finding hope If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know that you are not alone and that you are worthy of help. Your life and well-being matter. When you’re suffering, life’s challenges can feel overwhelming and even insurmountable. This workbook is here to help you find relief and solutions when suicidal thoughts take over. Grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this compassionate workbook offers practical tools to guide you toward a place of hope. It will help you identify your reasons for living, manage intense emotions and painful thoughts, and create a safe environment when you are in a crisis. You’ll also find ways to strengthen social connections, foster self-compassion, and rediscover activities that bring joy and meaning to your life. This workbook is here to support you. However you are feeling at this moment, remember the following: You are worth it, you are loved, and you matter.

You've Reached Sam

Author : Dustin Thao
Publisher : Wednesday Books
Page : 223 pages
File Size : 43,5 Mb
Release : 2021-11-09
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9781250762047

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You've Reached Sam by Dustin Thao Pdf

An Instant New York Times Bestseller! If I Stay meets Your Name in Dustin Thao's You've Reached Sam, a heartfelt novel about love and loss and what it means to say goodbye. Seventeen-year-old Julie Clarke has her future all planned out—move out of her small town with her boyfriend Sam, attend college in the city; spend a summer in Japan. But then Sam dies. And everything changes. Heartbroken, Julie skips his funeral, throws out his belongings, and tries everything to forget him. But a message Sam left behind in her yearbook forces memories to return. Desperate to hear him one more time, Julie calls Sam's cell phone just to listen to his voice mail recording. And Sam picks up the phone. The connection is temporary. But hearing Sam's voice makes Julie fall for him all over again and with each call, it becomes harder to let him go. What would you do if you had a second chance at goodbye? A 2021 Kids' Indie Next List Selection A Cosmo.com Best YA Book Of 2021 A Buzzfeed Best Book Of November A Goodreads Most Anticipated Book

I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Author : Anonim
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing
Page : 209 pages
File Size : 50,8 Mb
Release : 2022
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781526656452

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I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Anonim Pdf

Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse.

Made You Up

Author : Francesca Zappia
Publisher : Harper Collins
Page : 464 pages
File Size : 47,5 Mb
Release : 2015-05-19
Category : Young Adult Fiction
ISBN : 9780062290120

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Made You Up by Francesca Zappia Pdf

Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be—sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. For fans of Silver Linings Playbook and Liar, this thought-provoking debut tells the story of Alex, a high school senior—and the ultimate unreliable narrator—unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. Alex fights a daily battle to figure out what is real and what is not. Armed with a take-no-prisoners attitude, her camera, a Magic 8 Ball, and her only ally (her little sister), Alex wages a war against her schizophrenia, determined to stay sane long enough to get into college. She's pretty optimistic about her chances until she runs into Miles. Didn't she imagine him? Before she knows it, Alex is making friends, going to parties, falling in love, and experiencing all the usual rites of passage for teenagers. But Alex is used to being crazy. She's not prepared for normal. Can she trust herself? Can we trust her?

The Other Side of Silence

Author : Linda Gask
Publisher : Hachette UK
Page : 254 pages
File Size : 45,9 Mb
Release : 2015-09-10
Category : Biography & Autobiography
ISBN : 9781783726479

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The Other Side of Silence by Linda Gask Pdf

Having spent her life trying to patch up the souls of others, psychiatrist Linda Gask eventually learnt to focus on her own depression and take care of herself, too. Artfully crafted and told with warmth and honesty, this is the story of Linda’s journey, interwoven with insights into her patients’ diverse experiences of depression.

My Lovely Wife

Author : Mark Lukach
Publisher : Bluebird
Page : 320 pages
File Size : 47,8 Mb
Release : 2018-06-26
Category : Husband and wife
ISBN : 1509805966

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My Lovely Wife by Mark Lukach Pdf

Mark and Giulia's life together began as a storybook romance. They fell in love at eighteen, married at twenty-four, and were living their dream life in San Francisco. When Giulia was twenty-seven, she suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break that landed her in the psych ward for nearly a month. One day she was vibrant and well-adjusted; the next she was delusional and suicidal, convinced that she was the devil and that her loved ones were not safe. All she wanted was to die. Eventually, Giulia fully recovered, and the couple had a son. But, soon after Jonas was born, Giulia had another breakdown, and then a third a few years after that. pushed to the edge of the abyss, everything the couple had once taken for granted was upended. A story of the fragility of the mind, and the tenacity of the human spirit, My Lovely Wife is, above all, a love story that raises profound questions: How do we care for the people we love? What and who do we live for? Breathtaking in its candor, radiant with compassion, and written with dazzling lyricism, Lukach's is an intensely personal odyssey through the harrowing years of his wife's mental illness, anchored by an abiding devotion to family that will affirm readers' faith in the power of love.

On Opium

Author : Carlyn Zwarenstein
Publisher : Unknown
Page : 0 pages
File Size : 45,7 Mb
Release : 2021-09-14
Category : Opioid abuse
ISBN : 1773101811

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On Opium by Carlyn Zwarenstein Pdf

A groundbreaking meditation on pain, painkillers, and dependence from a prescription opioid user. Her writing has been described as "measured," "sensuous," and "compelling." In 2016, Carlyn Zwarenstein's short narrative on pain made the Globe and Mail'sTop 100 Books. Now, she returns with a seductive dive into opioids and the nature of dependence. North Americans are the world's most prolific users of opioid painkillers. In On Opium, Zwarenstein describes her own use of opioid-inspired medicines to cope with a painful disease. Evoking both Thomas De Quincey and Frida Kahlo, she travels from the decadence of recreational drug use in past eras to the misery and privation of the overdose crisis today. Speaking with users of prescribed morphine, illicit fentanyl, and smoked opium, Zwarenstein investigates uncomfortable questions about why people use substances and when substance use becomes addiction. And she exposes causes of drug-related harms: the debilitating effects of poverty, isolation, and trauma; the role of race, class, and gender in addressing pain; and a system of prohibition that has converted age-old medicines into taboo substances. Through all of this, Zwarenstein finds hope. Drawing on solidarity between illicit drug users and people in pain; in a wise understanding of what humans need to be well; and in radical drug policies like legalization and safe supply, she lays out a vision of a world where suffering is no longer lauded, and opioids are no longer demonized.